Still? Always
by Vacaines
Summary: This is what I think happened during the 72 hours after the camara went off. Spoilers for Always. Sorry for the wait, NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

My first Castle story…

Disclaimer: if they were mine, I would have delayed the events portrayed in Always for as long as Marlow and co. did, buy I would have done one more episode after it. No one should be forced to wait three months to know what happened the morning after!

ALWAYS spoilers sort of…(but really, who doesn´t already know the kissed at the season finale? And I´m from Argentina so yeah, even down here we know such a thing!)

Feedback is appreciated and sorry for the no-beta thing…

Story: my thoughts on what might have happened after the camera went off. I just don´t think they did the deed right away. This is what might have happened.

**Still? Always…**

I just need her. Every part of her, any bit of her I can get my lips into. Ever since that stolen kiss at that forsaken alley, I knew that when I kissed her again I wasn't going to be able to stop. But it wasn't just her lips I was seeking to kiss. Every single inch of her skin deserved to be kissed, to be worshiped, and I meant to do that. I really did. But seeing her all rainy-damped, I just had to hold on a little bit longer. I really did want to just grab her, and warm her up in my amazing, way too big for a single man shower and then get her into my bed. I had waited this long to kiss all of her, a few shower-long minutes couldn't be that hard right? But she had other plans. She eventually did let me kiss her inch by inch, but first, she had all this things she needed to talk about. And if she wanted to do something with me other than catch murderers, who was I to complain about what the "thing" was?

After those heaven-inspired-earth-shattering kisses she graves my hand, gave me this amazing, I-know-what-I´m-doing-and-I´m-bringing-you-with-me smile and takes me to the last place in his loft I wanted to go. She takes me to my kitchen.

"Really Kate? The kitchen?"

"You said you bring me coffee every morning to see me smile. Well, I – no, we need to talk and I tough it'd be a good idea if you gave me a reason to smile before you see me breaking into a million pieces. You know, so that you remember my smile and maybe feel compelled to see it again and help me glue all the pieces together, with no wall or hiding places to crawl back too? Plus I'd really like to warm up."

What had this case done to her? She is the strongest woman I have ever met. How could I not see just how broken she actually is. "A coffee for my Kate it is then"

"Your Kate?"

"And don't you ever doubt it". After starting the coffee I push her to my bathroom, give her a towel, a pair of clean boxer, a blue bottom up (I fear she'd think I had a reason behind giving her a white one) and command her to take her time.

Fortunately she didn't make me wait long. Less than fifteen minutes later she walks through the doors of my office (the master bedroom is right behind it) gives me the sweetest peck on the lips human kind ever saw and simply stands there, wearing my clothes and pleading with her eyes for me to start talking again. And I just can't disappoint her right?

"You came to me tonight. You just asked me to glue you back. I'm not letting you go, no matter what. I was born to follow you around and I'm not giving up that job any time soon". I hand her a coffee and being mindful of my own cup I slowly lead her to the sofa. She sat much closer than I thought she would, and I relinquish the warmth I feel with having her side pressed to me.

Taking a deep breath she blows me out of my mind when she says "Even if I'm not a cop anymore? Would you follow me around even then?"

"Even then. But why would you stop being a cop? Is it so hard for you to investigate every murder in the city but your mothers?"

"It'd be hard yes, but not as hard as surviving a day knowing you wouldn't be there to pull my pigtails. I told you I'd like for you to be around when I catch my mother's killer, but the truth is, I'm not sure I want to catch him if it means I can't have you"

"Kate I can't go back. I can't stand by and see you get shot again. I felt you die in my arms Beckett, and I just can't do that again. You have to understand what I'm talking about. You cried when the Capitan died. Can't you see what it'd do to me to lose my partner, my mentor, my friend, the love of my life? I'd rather live my life hoping you lived to die another day than knowing I'd never run into you again. I just can't Kate. And if you can't accept that then I think you´d better leave…"

"That's just it Castle. I won't live unless it's with you. For four years we've followed my pace. We went to the movies when I said so. We ate at the comfort food truck when I asked. You came to the precinct when I called or to the murder scene when I said you could go. What I'm asking now is that for the next four years, or for as long as you'd take me, you set the pace."

"You're asking me to lead the way? To decide what we do for the next four years, and maybe, hopefully, the rest of our lives?"

"Uhm, no, I'm asking for us to set the path and then yeah, for you to set the pace and take the lead. I mean, would you like for us to get married? To move in together? To have children? To travel the world? To grow old together? I want for us to talk and see if maybe we want to get to the same place and share the same things so that then you can decide the when to our what. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it kind of does, but where is this coming from?"

"Ever since I started to see you as a partner I knew I could trust you to have my back. I knew that you'd be there to get me out o pull the cables o shoot the seat belt. Well, this is coming from me admitting that I need to learn to trust you with my heart. I only trusted two people with it and one was murdered 13 years ago and the other one drunk that trust for about five years. Can you do that? Can you teach me to trust you and follow you after we set the goal?" –is she really saying this? Does she really not know I'd be there for her -"I know I want for us to be together, even if it means we won't get married or we won't have children. I mean, I'd understand if you didn't want those things with me, but-"

"Kate why the hell would I not want those things with you? If you'd let me I'd fly us to Vegas right now to marry you and we wouldn't leave the hotel room until I knew I'd gotten you pregnant!" – I just can't hold back any more so I pull her by the waist until she's straddling me and push her to me so she understands what she's doing to me. "Kate, do you feel that? That's what you did to me just by kissing me"- to this, she has the decency to blush, she has been rambling absurdly for the last half hour and hadn't even realized I was sporting the biggest hard on of my life! "Kate can we maybe, talk in like, 72 hours?"

"Do you really think you have the stamina for a 72 hours festival old man?" –old man? What the-

"Old man? Who do you think you're calling old man?" With strength I didn't know I had I pull us both up and searing our mouths together I take us to my bedroom. When I reach the bed I reverently place her, on her feet, on the bed. Looking at her from an inferior height I feel as if I was worshiping her. I rubbed me face on her belly, over my now unusable blue shirt (just knowing it had touched her breast would give me an immediate hard on, imagine wearing it in public). I get lost there, just breathing her in until I felt her fingers running through my hair. Looking up, I see her deep green eyes begging me to let her move. I give her space so she can bend her knees and suddenly our position is reversed and I have her breathing deeply into my shirt.

I once again hug her to me and seeing her fragile state I'm not surprised when I feel her tears on my shirt. I take a step back, get rid of my trousers and my shirt, and clad on my boxers and undershirt I take the bed covers off and gently start pushing her down on the bed.

"No, wait. I mean, thanks for not demanding anything else than snuggling down from me because I know I don't have the stamina to do anything else, but I'd love to feel you skin. Do you think we could maybe loose the shirts, with the promise of not asking you to restrain yourself tomorrow morning?"

Does she really need to ask that? In one swift moment I pull her shirt off and then mine and once again start pulling her down. For a full second I relinquished the feel of her breast against my chest until she wordlessly turns around so she can snuggle to me from behind. The problem with this position was the fact that I didn't know how many buttons I could press… where was I supposed to place my hands? Reading my mind, Kate grabs the one that's trapped under her and places it around her breast and then takes the other one between both of hers and places them under her chin.

"I meant it Castle. No more restraining. Feel free to touch, feel, grope, kiss, demand. You were right earlier. I'm yours and I willingly give myself to you. You know I'm a one and done kind of girl. If in the morning you still want to be mine, you won't hear me complaining when you kiss me up"

"My god Kate, I love you so much!"

"Still?"

"Always. And don't you ever doubt it"

"Good, because I love you too and now sleep so it can be morning already!"

And with a final grunt I close my eyes and start counting flying sheep's. I can't allow sleep to fight me. I needed for it to be morning!


	2. The first 9 hours

AN: thank you all for the alerts. Hope you like this, and considering the end, it´d be safe to say I´ll be continuing this story…

Disclaimer: still not mine. Dang!

Regards,

I.

The first 9 hours

Hours 1 to 8 were spent sleeping. Dang. She promised me 72 hours of us, in an intimate way and we spent the first eight hours sleeping. Really. In his sinfully luxurious bed, wrapped in each other's arms, wearing nothing but boxers (how did I ever fall asleep with her wearing only my boxers? In all the scenarios I pictured her wearing that to bed we never got to the actually sleeping part…).Waking up next to her is, after holding Alexis for the first time, the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. To see her smile broadening just at the sight of my face was enough to make me forget the whole naked-not sweating-just cuddling-in bed thingy. And my reaction to that smile alone made me realize I was doomed. Don't get me wrong, being in love is not bad. But knowing that all she has to do is smile to get me doing or forgetting things is an eye opener. I'm going to need to work really hard not to let her move us to India o Timbuktu. And then she frowns at my silence and I suddenly wouldn´t mind moving to India.

I give her my greatest- although still groggy smile- and kiss that frown away. A whole bunch of sweet, butterfly kisses and some skimo-like nose brushings after we are disgustingly smiling at each other and I just know we are going to be even more sickening than Ryan and Jenny. And then she turns me on my back, slides over me and gives me this beautiful open mouth kiss in that sensitive place were my neck meets my shoulder and suddenly I have this feeling that I might lose my head and never worry about it. She pulls up a little bit to look at me all mindful and shy and once again, she erases my last thought: I don't wanna loose my head if that means I lose my sight and my ability to see that smiley face! (God! That sounded whinny even in my head!). And once again my silence gives away to that beautiful sexy frown. C'mon Ricky boy, time to stop the introspection…

"How did I get so lucky? After everything we've done, said and hidden from each other, how did I get to wake up with you in my arms?" I run my hands through her back and something doesn´t feel right. Why does she have bumps on her back…?

"Are you always this deep after a full night of sleep? Because if you are I'm going to need an intravenous coffee fix as a part of my beauty sleep…Here I am, being truthful to my words of a no restriction in the whole touching thing morning and you bring our entire history up?" Yep, the banter is still full force. And there is something else in her voice. As if she was getting ready to pull the walls up and get into a braking point fight (and I had no intention in starting one of those what so ever)

"No Kate, what I meant was `I'm so glad to have you here, why the hell did we let all that bullshit stop us`. I know we weren't ready before, and that a relationship based on lies is doomed from the beginning. But is it wrong for me to voice my wishful thinking? I know we had to travel this road to get here, but the fact that we actually got here, to the whole waking up together, happy and horny and sweet is just amazing and I love us more for what we've invested to get here!" She pulling her weight up with her hands and is looking at me to try to sense the truth to my words and I risk a peek to her front and what I see there is enough to pull all my senses into a warning signal, red, shiny and loud. "What the hell Kate? Did you fall off the roof or something?"

She looks down at her front and she's not surprised with what she sees, on the contrary, it's as if seeing her front explains something she's feeling and simply says: "Almost". And my hope of a 72 hours clothes optional festival goes down the drain in that same moment. She gets off my body into the bed and hugs herself to my side. God her breasts are distracting. Reading my mind she asks if she needs to get dress to get my full attention and sensing my doubt (I am a breast man after all), she grabs our discarded button ups and hands one to my while pulling one over her head.

"Do you really think that matching clothes, all of them mine, is any less distracting?"

And she has the decency to sound doubtful when she says "Yes? My clothes are obviously a lost cause and I really don't want to leave the loft to get different ones…Besides…we were supposed to live a 72 hours festival so you better get used to me in your clothes because that's all I'm intending to wear for the next three days…"

"Don't do that. Don't say things like that when I obviously can't act on the feelings they evoke. The sole idea of having you all to myself for three days makes me want to shed this shirts again and press you to the mattress until the imprint of our body forces me to change the bed all together"

"Is it always going to be with you on top?" Oh you devious sidetracking muse! I'm not letting you reel me into your trap!

With my best I´m-in-bed-with-New-York-finest-and-we-are-wearing-matching-shirts-and boxers-all-of-them-mine-poker-face I say "As long as it ends with me inside of you, I really don't care about who leads in that particular path. But you did ask me to lead us for the next four years…"

"Uhm noooo I asked you to set the pace, but I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of proposing to you if we decide that's in our path and you decide we are in the right place".

"Oh no you won't! I'll let you lead in bed whenever you want, I'll be the one doing the cooking, the grocery shopping and the laundry, but please, pretty please please let me be the man in the proposing field…" And the sound of her laugh is exhilarating!

"Oh you silly man, I love you so much, feminine side and all! Yeah, so you've been following me around and you are in-charge of the food and drinks, you wear silkier underwear than mine and you have more beauty products than half the women in the force, but I still see you as the most amazing man on earth. And your arms make me feel safe in a way no other man ever could and ever will. So, yeah, fine, I'm no good in the kitchen and my groceries are basically milk, eggs and carrots so that's not going to change, but isn't the fact of knowing I'll be counting the minutes until I can have your arms around me proof enough that I'm ready to be what you want- need- me to be?"

"The thing is Kate, I want you, as you are, as you always were. With your flaws, your doubts, your strength. Please, don't let us wait anymore."And I kiss her, hoping I can muster in a kiss all that I'm feeling in this very moment. "Either way, don't change the subject. Did you fall from a building? How did you get all this bruises and why am I only seeing them today?"

"I need a coffee"

"Ok, coffee, then talk and then a 72 hours clothes optional Castle festival!"

"Castle-Beckett festival medieval teenaged man!"

I give her a goofy grin, an sloppy kiss and we leave the safety of the bed and wander to the kitchen for a much needed breakfast.


	3. Hour 10

Hey! Uhm, this is a short one, but I`m not sure I`ll be able to post anything tomorrow, so I figured better short today than non at all until Saturday…

Thanks for reading and the support! And it´s great to know an Argentinean is reading this!

Once again, sorry for the no beta thing and Castle is still not mine…

i.

Hour 10

It's been about nine hours, a bit longer, since Beckett came to the loft last night. And she has already changed me. Because you see, if ten hours ago an amazing woman threw herself to me in the safety of my own house (meaning, not just a crazy fan at a book sign- Kate ruined that for me with her head turner entrance to the Storm reading a few years ago-), I would have grabbed her and taken her to my bedroom. And in the whole lot of activities we would have done, sleeping wouldn't have been a top priority. And then Kate came rushing in 9 hours ago, and we've kissed, hugged, snuggled in the nude, but I still can't say she is completely mine. And I'm pretty sure thatvs not going to happen, for a few hours at least.

"I'm hungry"

Oh trust me Kate, so am I, only it's not food what I´m really craving. "So I'm guessing it's safe for me to assume we're not only having coffee, we are sharing breakfast"

"Well, seeing it's a little over eleven I'd say it's more brunch. What do you say Castle? Do you think you can feed you partner some eggs?"

"Eleven? Did we really sleep that much?"

"Don't look so sad Rick…was I really that disappointing as a blanket?"

What is she talking about? How could she ever be a disappointment? I put my hands on her face and with the sweetest voice I can muster I answer the most stupid question I've heard in my life. "Kate, trust me when I say there is nothing you can do, say or think that could ever disappoint me. You are truly the finest, softest, prettiest blanket I've ever had, but if we really slept 10 hours, two more than I had assume, then, well, I AM a little disappointed over the fact that we now only have like about 60 hours left of our clothes optional Castle-Beckett festival".

"But Rick, don't you know the rules to our own festival? It only starts when we say so. It didn't begin the moment I said I wanted you Castle! As a matter of fact, I'm glad it didn't because I know Alexis will come thru that door any minute now, and I doubt she'd appreciate us being naked all the time…" I didn't like were this was going…

"No Beckett, no backing up! After four years of foreplay we deserve to have at least three days to ourselves!" And for good measure I drop the spatula (yeah, we started cooking brunch right around the blanket thing), put the knife she handling down, and kiss her. I really love kissing her. It's so good. To know I can do that? That I have this 'all time pass' to her mouth is enough to make me forget about my complaints. But what the heck! "Beckett did you just use my own spatula against me?"

"Yes I did! Castle I know I hurt you. I know I made you doubt my love and commitment to you by lying to you about the whole `I love you` thing, but please, stop doubting and second guessing me. I love you, I want you and I need you. My hope to have you inside of me is as deep as your need to be with me, but I want for it to be perfect, uninterrupted and honest. I'm not pushing you away, I'm not delaying it with lame excuses such as coffee and pancakes. I really am hungry, but I do want to be sure your daughter won't catch us in the act and I still need for us to talk".

"No Kate, it's not about doubting! It's just about needing…" And that earns me another kiss. My god, I love this woman! I really could spend a whole day, a whole 24 hours of our festival just kissing those soft, velvet like lips.

"C'mon, finish the eggs and bacon, I'm done with the salad fruit and the toasts are also done. The coffee is ready and…" She's interrupted by the keys in the other side of the door. Alexis is here. "Oh my god Castle! You said afternoon! She's here already! What is she going to think?"

I try to calm her down as best as I can "Beckett, it's ok, I know for a fact she'll be ok with this new development! She's been cheering for us from the very beginning"

"But things have changed Castle. I know I hurt her this summer, and she can't let go of the whole I-put-her-father-in-danger-on-a-daily-basis thing"

"Dad! I'm home! Oh, hi dad. Detective Beckett? What are you doing here? And why is your phone off? Lanie has been trying to reach you for the last 10 hours! She must have called me 10 times cause neither one of you were answering you phones…are those matching t-shirts? Dad what is going on! You promised me I'd be the first to know if this ever happened! The stakes at the precinct bet are way too high right now to loose!"

"What bet! Castle you knew about a bet! Why the hell are they betting on us? And why haven't I heard about this! I want my share of the winnings!"

And to this I had to answer "Kate, you can't bet neither against nor for your own horse! Why would you get a share?"

"But dad! I thought we were splitting my winnings? Does that mean I get them all?"

Aaaand the magic poking finger appears! "Richard Alexander Rogers you are dead meat! And remember, I know people that can make it look like an accident! I've got people in really low places, so you better use that money taking me out to dinner!"


	4. Hour 11, well, 13 actually…

Hey… so, I hope you enjoy! This one piece story is becoming my own personal Everest, but so far I´ve enjoyed the ride. I use fanfiction to get away from life for a while, so I hope that maybe, just maybe, this story brings the tome someone face the smile reading some of the things out there has put in mine. (is that grammatically correct?)

.stanathan, thanks for the review! I know my English is a bit rusty, but I hope my grammar will improve after actually using it for something other than reading and talking for almost 8 years. Though, I´m not so hopeful with that, after all, I do have spelling mistakes in the 4 languages I speak…

I don´t know when, but there will be more to come! If you have some ideas about what should happen in the next 60 hours or so this story is aiming to cover, feel free to share them with me!

Regards!

i.

Hour 11, well, 13 actually…

Ok, so, having brunch in the couch with Kate, my mother and Alexis on our first night's morning after wasn't high on my "Beckett in the morning fantasies". Brunch was. Her on my shirt and boxers was. But the couch should have been the bed. And my mother and daughter would have been, hopefully, in another city, just to prevent any really embarrassing interruptions. And we wouldn't have spent our first night together in my bed jus cuddling. But life has its way of showing you the finger when it comes to fulfilling fantasies. Then again, to have the three women I love the most, together, alive, healthy and happy and openly sharing is a great turnabout.

I've never been happier to see my mother than when she came in today, as a warrior in a shining armor to protect me from Beckett's evil poking finger. Note to self: stop betting on Kate and you without telling her! (She'll always bet on us, which means, more winnings!). I really wasn't expecting my mother this morning. She left for the Hamptons not five minutes after Alexis graduation ceremony was over and usually it takes her at least a few weeks on the beach to get ready for facing summer in the city. Her reasoning? Alexis leaving to California for an undeserving mother-amazing daughter week and my leaving-Kate-to-fend-for-herself-the-day-she-found-her-shooter meant a depressed, maybe drunk, possibly extremely immature Richard Castle. And she just couldn't concentrate on having fun if she knew I was in such state. She rushed through the door, shouting something about me getting a bag ready and "stop mopping, we are turning that switch off right this minute", only to stop dead on her tracks, seeing us three (Kate, Alexis and yours truly) and muttered something about me making her waist a perfectly sunny day with my, once again, overreacting to a fight with Kate. And in that moment, my wife to be (mind my words, she will allow me to marry her) opened her mouth and said:

"Martha! It's so good to see you. I feared I wouldn't have the chance to wish you a good summer! And for what is worth, there was a moment, when I was hanging from that roof when I regretted that my last words to your son would have been spoken in anger, instead of the `I love you` they should have been. And if it wasn't for that eye opener I probably wouldn't be here, so he wasn't overreacting, I really screwed up the last time I saw him" And then she turned and looking at my daughter she said: "Alexis, I know you don't fully trust me with your dads heart, but I love him, and I'll do my best to be worthy of your trust. I'm not here just to save him from being a hostage during a bank robbery, I'm here for the long run. At least, I hope so…" By this time I just can't take seeing her standing there, alone and fragile so I go to where she is and hug her to myself. She hugs me back, holding on to me as if I was a life line. Finally, she turns to me and with a little crack in her voice she says: "I love you. I really do. And I have many more things to say to you, but if it's all right with you all, I'm starving and breakfast is getting cold! Martha, will you be joining us before going back to the Hamptons?"

My mother's quicker than me so she says: "I sure will be my child. And let me just say it's really good to know you've finally allowed yourself to be loved". After which she hugs Beckett, grabs her hand and leads my woman to the couch. Second note to self: wait for a bit until you call her that out loud, she might not be as pleased as you are with that prospect.

Alexis and I pick the trays with all the food – drinks were already at the table- and as I walk to the living room I fully grasp the meaning of what Kate just said. Did she say something about hanging from a roof top between the I love yous addressed to my mother, my daughter and myself? "Kate, did you just say you realized you couldn't fight you heart's desire while you were hanging from a rooftop? What on earth does that mean!"

"My heart's desire? Really Castle? Isn't that a bit too Temptation Lane even for you?"

"Stop avoiding the subject Kate! What the hell happened yesterday?"

"I told you last night when I first got here! `He got away and I didn't care. I almost died and all I could think about was you`. Why does the how I almost die matter? Canvt you at least wait until we finish eating?"

Resigning myself to an uncomfortable brunch, full of awkward silences, I sat down next to Kate. Alexis was on the floor and my mother on the reclining chair next to us. And for the second time in one hour, I don't think I've ever been more thankful for my mother than right this minute, when she asks: "Alexis dear, how was the graduation party? You must tell us absolutely all about it!"

And just like that, the tension is gone, Kate, coffee in hand is perched to my side, eagerly listening to what my daughter has to say. "Oh, it was amazing! We had so much fun, but at the same time, so many tears were cried. Paige and I, we kind of said our goodbyes. She is going to England next year, and her parents thought it'd be good to go over there now, so she has some time to prepare herself. And it was good for us you know? I felt like we hadn't really talked in ages, with my internship and all, and to give ourselves the time to actually do it now was really good"

Getting up from my comfortable place on the couch I hunch down next to her and I hug her to myself. "I'm so proud of you, oh so wise daughter of mine!".

"Dad! I'm being serious!"

"And trust me Alexis, so is he! He's been rambling about you pretty much since the day we've met, and I can't recall a single phrase he's spoken about you that wasn't tainted with proud and even a little admiration" Oh Kate, I love you so much. If you only knew just how much I've bothered them talking about how proud I'm of you. How happy I'm and how blessed I feel for knowing you.

Thankfully, my mother interrupts once again: "And can you blame him my child. I'm not only saying this because we share the same blood, but because I know for a fact this is true: my granddaughter is by far the greatest thing this family has ever produced".

And I can barely fill my lungs after Kate says, with suspiciously shining eyes directed at me: "And she had some pretty high standards to beat. Let's just hope she can avoid the whole `stealing a police horse while in the nude` phase. I'm more than willing to use my connections to get you out of jail Alexis, but I really hope you've learned something from raising your father…" To which all three ladies start to laugh.

"Oh great, we haven't even been on a proper date yet and you've already managed to turn both my mother and child against me? I'm so not going to be able to beat this gang…! Maybe I should start following the gang team"

"Oh no you won't! You will not follow anyone belonging to any sort of force- cops, FBI, CIA, MI7 or whatever the British have other than myself. And since I'm no longer a homicide detective, unless you write and solve the murders yourself, the whole putting criminals behind bars thing is over for you mister" To which all two women in the room who happen to be blood related to me silently leave the room. Well, the loft actually. Thank God for Alexis thoughtfulness…this talk is going to take longer that I first anticipated…

And so the 14th hour begins…


	5. Hour 14… and maybe a bit of 15th?

Hope you enjoy! Had fun writing it… As I said last time, ideas are welcomed! I know where I want to get with the story, but the how I open for help!

Thanks for reading and sticking with the story! Hope you don´t feel cheated…

I.

Hour 14… and maybe a bit of 15th?

"Ok, they are gone, your tummy is full, you´ve had your coffee and plenty of time to practice how you want this conversation to go. But I can´t wait any longer Kate. What the hell happened yesterday? What did you mean with the ´I´m no longer in the force´ comment, what was that `dangling off a roof` thing about and more importantly, what´s the path you see us sharing!"

"We will get into all of those topics, but does this building have a rooftop? I´d like to be outside, but if we go to a park I´d need to go home and get changed, and once I´m there I´d probably want to take a shower, and well, you get the picture"

"You´d rather go to another rooftop, after everything that seems to have happened yesterday than delaying this conversation endlessly? Ok, who are you and where is the woman I´m head over heels in love with?"

"I don´t mind going to another rooftop for more than one reason. The first one, you know I´m not one to run from a promise. I promised a story after breakfast and I will give you the long version of yesterday events, after which, we are going to talk about last summer, the last couple of weeks and maybe by lunch time we can start with the whole ´planning our future path thing´. Secondly, I have a lovely rooftop in my building and I love going there in summer nights. I might as well fight any troubles I might have developed against them now. And last but not least, if I do happen to have some issue with rooftops due to yesterdays misadventures, I can´t think of a better person to help me fight them but you. I can´t remember the last time I felt as safe as I did today, waking up in your arms. So I know that you, me, some blankets, coffee and this leftover pancakes can face anything any rooftop throws our way. So? What do you say? Can we make a date out of this talk? Oh, and that better be the last time my being honest with you makes you doubt my identity. I meant what I said Castle. This is it. I´m in for the long run. And yes, I might still want to keep my space, and there will be days when we want to spend a few hours apart. But I´m done with the whole hiding things from you thing. Unless it´s a gift. I reserve the right to surprise you with good things. But for everything else, I intend to let you in writer boy!"

"Oh, you just wait! When night come, I´ll show you just how manly man I am!"

"Really? Manly man? That´s how you want to convince me of your manhood?"

"Would you prefer I turned into Tarzan, shoved you over my shoulders and threw you to the bed?"

"Don´t you dare! Besides, I love that metro side of you no need to prove you don´t have it! Go get some blankets. I´ll get two coffees to go and the pancakes in a plate and you can take me to the rooftop"

"Uhm Kate? I never said I actually have one… but there is a terrace in my bedroom if you´d like…"

"Oh, ok, I guess that would do"

"If it makes you feel any better, I´m more than willing to go to your rooftop with you one of these beautiful summer nights…"

"Oh, Rick! Buy if we go alone to my building´s rooftop, what is Ms Jenkings, the old lady next door, going to think of me!"

"Tease. Go get our refill, I´ll wait for you in the bedroom"

A few minutes later, while I´m getting some blankets outside I see her walking into my room, balancing two mugs, a plate full of syrup-covered pancakes and her phone in her right shoulder. Whoever she´s talking with just made the number one slot in my enemies list, well, second to the men in the whole lets-murder-the-Beckets-conspiracy, because her face is no longer lit up by a smile. On the contrary, she seams upset. As I walk into the room I hear her mention Dr Parishes name, so, without much preamble, I go for the phone and with all the seriousness I can muster I say "Lanie, I know you´re her friend, and that you love her and that you are worried about her. This is all you need to know: she is physically fine, mentally maybe a little upset but for once in what feels like forever, she´s willing to let somebody help her. And this time, it`ll be me. And no Dr Parish, nothing happened last night, although I´m keeping my fingers crossed for some action tonight. Then again, seeing her death glare that might not be happening any time soon"

"_Fine! Tell my girl I love her! And you owe me a dink for worrying me! And you better get that girl do some talking or I´m getting her ass out of there and ima gonna smack you, ok!_"

"I´ll do my very best Lanie"

"_That's all I ask. Bye writer boy!_"

"Man Lanie, writer man!"

"_No if you still let her glare scare you!_"

"Oh you can´t blame me for that! Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of those?"

"_Good bye Castle!_"

And she hungs up. I turn around looking for Kate only to find her gone from my bedroom. I look for her in the balcony but she is not there either. Surely she didn´t get so mad that she actually left right? And as if reading my mind she shouts from the bathroom "Castle! Can you get me a towel? I didn´t know where you keep them and I didn´t want to interrupt your girl talk with MY friend!"

"Kate are you really in the shower?"

"Yes! My hair was killing me and I figured you were going to talk to Lanie for a while! My bad I guess…"

"Can I get in there with you?"

"NO! Don´t you dare get in this shower mister!"

"But Kate! Who´s going to wash your back?"

"I´ve been doing all right on my own for the past 34 years, I think I can manage…"

"And behind your ears? Did you clean there? I bet there is a lot of dirt there, I should help you!"

"Castle! No, that my final answer. Just get me a towel so I can get out when I´m done"

"Do you need conditioner? I don´t think I have one there"

"Actually, you have more than one bottle here, I bet one of those is a male hair softener or something as weird as that!"

"Uhm, no, I don´t think I have one of those…"

"Castle, could you come closer please…"

I do as she says, and I walk all the way to the shower (the steam covers her figure, dang!). You see, I have this amazing shower stall, really big and comfortable for two- and a jacuzzy on the other side of the bathroom, just in case you were wondering… Going back to the shower. I always hated those glass doors you usually have in showers because they open to the outside, which means they get the floor wet with tiny bitty droplets, so, instead of having a door, my shower has an open space from where you get in and out. I stand next to it, close enough so she can reach me if she wants-a man can dream right?-, but not close enough to give me a view (I´m more than willing to wait until she chooses to share the sight of her whole, amazing, way too perfect body with me). After admitting to myself I really wasn´t going to get a full pick, I turned around. This meant I didn´t see-nor heard- her coming to the opening. When she said "Castle, turn around please" I was more than willing to do so, and more than pleasantly surprised to see her head coming out of the glass, her hands holding her to it. "First, why do you have a cherry´s scented shampoo here?"

"Uhm, I always loved the way you smelled, and I always hoped that maybe, one day, you´d use it?"

"So you bought it for me?"

"You know me Kate, I´m all about the details…"

"That you are. On to the next topic…Do you trust yourself to behave around my naked body?"

"Uhm… I can promise to try? Why? What´s wrong?"

"Uhm, my body is a bit battered after yesterdays fight, and my arms a bit sore, making it really hard for me to wash my hair…"

No need for further encouragement. I lose the shoes and without giving a second thought, I get in the shower with her. "Castle! What are you doing! You´ll get your clothes soaked!". As if I could care less about an old pair of jammies, a button up and some boxers.

"Kate, the question is… do you trust yourself with MY naked body?" Seeing her face, I can´t help adding "That´s what I thought, now, let's get this show on the road!"

I turn her so she is facing me. I hold her to my body – a man is a man after all, and I can´t really resist the need to feel her against me- and put us under the water. It actually feels relaxing and comforting, an well, maybe a little bit arousing, but I promised her to try to behave and I can´t really give up not two minutes into the shower right?

"God Castle! You feel so good! I don´t think I ever want to leave this spot. For so long, I´ve been running away from this feeling of safety. Even in the past, with other men, I´ve always had a foot out the door, to make the running away easier. But with you? I feel naked and barefooted. I´d take me so long to actually be able to run away that it´s just too hard to even think about it…"

What can I say to that? My best guess: nothing. I just look at her in the eyes holding her face with both hands and give her the sweetest kiss I can muster. "If I could, I´d keep you in my arms forever. But I know you Kate, you´d get restless. Eventually, you`ll want a breather. So, why don´t we start by getting you all cleaned up, dressed and into that balcony?"

"Yeah, ok, sounds good. Now…we should start with this"

I see the bottle she hands me and I don´t get it: "but Kate, this is my shampoo"

"I know. I love the way you smell just as much as you seem to love mine, so, why can´t I have it around me? The way I see it, if you´re afraid I´m going to get tired of being in your arms, then at least, I should get to smell like you!"

I massage her hair trying to look as little as humanly possible, but her back is distracting me. Not only for its hotness. "Kate, how did you get this bruise?"The bruise, previously covered by her hair is so big. And it looks so painful!

"Uhm, he threw me back-first to the floor. But it´s ok. It only really hurts when I take a deep breath"

I slowly turn her around so I can see this fucking man work. What I see is disturbing. How could I have missed this? Even her legs show some purple bruising, and I´ve been looking at them for a few hours now… "God Kate. What did he do to you? I should have been there! Or I should have tried harder to stop you from going!"

"No Castle. Don´t do that. Do not blame this on you! Do you hear me? This is in no way your fault. I was there on my own free will, and there was nothing you could have done to avoid it. You told me you loved me, and if hearing those beautiful words after thinking I´d lost you forever didn`t do it, then trust me, nothing would have. I was stubborn enough to think I could stop them, but they are just too powerful. I´m way out of my league here. I´m done chasing shadows in the dark. So you can tell that man, when he calls again, that they can stop worrying about me. I´m just not strong enough to come after them. And even if I was, I´m not sure I´d still want to… Are you sure I´d get bored if we stood here forever?"

"Yes I am! Time to get you rinsed and then off to find you some clothes!" I push her out of the shower, pointing at a towel she could use with direct orders to get herself dried up and to just go to my closet and get anything she wants. Well, anything but my leather jacket. Her in my leather, soooo not ready for that picture yet!

"Oh but Ricky! I love your leather jackets!"

And with that she´s gone, leaving her towel behind! "Oh you little temptress! I will not fall for that trick! You owe me a talk, and a talk we shall have! You´ll have to wait until a dim it necessary! Do you understand!"

"That sounded like a challenge if I ever heard one!"

Ugh! There is no way I´m winning this! "No it wasn´t Kate!"

And suddenly, she is back in the bathroom, having a pick at my rear "I know Castle! Talk first, fun stuff later! I´m taking some sweatpants and a huddie if that´s all right…"

"Sure, fine, whatever. Now would you please leave, so I can get out? There´s no hot water left after the whole hugging in the shower thing!" There are so many things we´re doing again after this talk is over! We are having brunch, naked, alone, in my bed and we are having an hour long shower but there will be so much more action going on!


	6. Hours 15 and 16

_Yeah! Uhm, sorry for the delay, hope there still someone out there! If there is, tanks for reading and sticking with me! Hope you had a good week, if not, you still have Friday to make it one ! (yeah, I´m your hideous optimistic girl…). By the way, I just got my Nikki Heat books delivered to my place! They arrived this morning, I can´t wait to start them!_

_Byes!_

_i._

Hours 15 and 16

"Scoot over please!"

"Why? You have a whole chair for you over there, why do I have to share mine with you?"

"Because what´s yours is mine"

"Does that mean you´re moving in?"

"It means you can ask, if after what I have to say you still want me to live with you and the two other women in your life"

"Kate, there is nothing you can say to-"

"Save it. I know, you know. Let's get this over with. After you left, I went to my mother's grave. I needed to be close to her and that had always worked in the past. But this time it didn´t. I was hurt, and mad and upset. I felt alone, like I felt when I lost her. I dismissed it. I blindly thought it was her way of asking me to keep going you know? And that blindness gave me the strength I needed. I said goodbye to her, went to the precinct and when the guys asked about you I told him you where off the team. They didn´t challenge me. I guess they just didn´t dare. I was too focused, too sure you know? We finally got the plate and sight of the car, so Espo and I went to this hotel where this SOB was supposed to be. We got to his room, it was empty. And we let our guard down. All the files were there. But it wasn´t the files they were after. It was a picture. You see, when they stole the Captains documents, they also took his photo album. We opened it and there was a picture missing. God Castle! I was so blinded by what we had found that I just stopped paying attention. And that´s when he found us. He knocked Esposito down and I went after him. When we were on the roof, he came to me from behind. I thought he was ahead of me, I saw him turn around a corner, but suddenly he was over me. We fought. Well, hi hit me, almost choked me and threw me to the floor more than once, but whatever I did, it just wasn´t enough. And it hit me then. I told you yesterday that I was ready. But I so wasn´t Castle. I´ll never be. He was just too strong, too focused, it was wortheless."

"But how did it went from you fighting on a roof to you hanging from it?"

"I tried to push him, but he just turned and I fell. He came over to where I was and he was so sure I was going to fall that he just smiled, said something about know who he was fighting against, smiled to the sky and just left. And as I was there, hanging from that stupid roof, all I could think about was you Castle. About how I´d never get a chance to say just how much you mean to me. Just how much you´ve changed my life". God, is this really happening? Is she really opening up to me? And why do I keep doubting it. She did it, she dived in and took me along with her.

"And then what happened? How did you get from there to here? If he left you there to die, why is it that I´m so lucky to have you here, in my arms, sharing a chair?"

"Ryan. He came in at the last minute and save the day. He screamed my name and I was so sure it was you. I kept screaming for you to come and at the very last second, when I just couldn´t hold on anymore, he took my hand and with the help of some other officer he pulled me up". After saying this, she takes a deep breath and I can´t resist kissing her. She looks so vulnerable, so ashamed of what comes next, that I feel tempted to make her stop. I can´t stand to see her hurt, and I know just how much telling me this is hurting her. But she needs to get it out. Or so I keep telling myself, because I need to know all there is to know so we can decide where we go from here.

"Please, Kate, go on. I need to hear it and I think you need to say it…"

"I know. So, long story short, Iron Gates was there, and she wasn´t happy. I mean, dragon-spiting-fire-not happy. She took us back to the precinct were she proceeded to lecture us about going there alone, and risking each other lives and so on and so on. She suspended us for two weeks. And, uhm, please don´t be mad… as I was giving her mi badge, I told her to keep it. I resigned. I´m no longer a homicide detective. I´m unemployed actually. I don´t think Gates would have me back, and the thing is, I don´t even know if I´d want to. Is it wrong that I just want you? Was it a mistake to hand in my badge?"

"Kate, even if I´m not sure I agree with what you did just there, why would it make me mad?" We really need to diffuse some tension right about now…

"I know it´s no longer about the books Rick, but you know…if I´m off the force, we can no longer access an interrogation room to question each other and have amazing, way out of line make up sex right there, on the same table I once questioned you four years ago…" And once again, she plays with my last thought.

"Beckett, are you reading my mind? I was just thinking the exact same thing…"

"What, diffusing the tension?"

"No, ravishing each other!" And I kiss her with all I´ve got until I´m all out of breath. And at that point, I just can´t get enough of her. So I pull her even closer to me and just kiss every bit of her I have access to.

"Castle? Uhm, Rick, hold on a minute"

"No Kate, please, no more waiting. No more talking. I mean, I love the whole sharing and openness thing, but I really need to, well, you know… make up after these past weeks" And I go back to my task. God the skin of her neck is so soft!

"Castle! Please, I can´t think when you do that! Oh God, Rick, I mean it- just hold on for a second!" My god she is killing me! Is she going to make those sounds every time I kiss the skin behind her right ear? I´ve got to hear it again! Ah! Bingo!

"Give me one good reason to stop"

"Alexis" Crap. That's a good one.

"And your mother"

"You sure know how to ruin the mood!"

"It´s almost noon. I bet they´re going to be back for lunch. How about this: we order some Chinese and we keep necking until it gets here. Or until your daughter and mother get back here, whatever happens first"

"I order the food and I can get back to eliciting those sounds from you?"

"Which sounds would-" I kiss her behind her right ear again and "ahh"

"That sound" I´m on the phone talking with the Chinese food guy –what was his name? Ming? Yeah, something like that-. "We`ve got forty five minutes"

"Or less if Alexis and Martha get" I swallow her words.

"I know we need to keep it down a bit, I mean, our fist time should take at least a whole afternoon, and a part of the night. And definitely a whole lot of the next morning, but could you please stop talking about my mother?" With that said, we proceed to make a good use of what should have been the 16th hour of our 72 hours clothes optional festival. Not what I had in mind, but close enough. And that means I won´t need to spend the first 24 just kissing her lips. I could make it 23 and go straight to the main course!

_So? Any thoughts? Once again, thanks for sticking with me, and I´ll try to update as soon as possible! _


	7. Hour 17

_I´m back! Sorry for the delay and the mistakes, they are all mine!_

_Disclamer: still not mine. How much do you think I could buy of Castle rights with about a hundred dollars? That little? Dang!_

_Reviews and ideas are always welcomed!_

_i._

Hour 18

As we are kissing on the lounge chair on my balcony I hear my phone ringing. I pick it up: its Alexis "_Hi dad! Just calling to give you guy a heads up, we´re coming in to get some bags. We decided to go to the Hamptons: you have way too many things to talk about_"

And I hear my mother on the back: "_And I bet other things are on the To Do list_"

"_Argh Grams! Too much info! Minor in the house! Daughter of the guy you´re talking about in the room! Either way dad, we should be there in maybe five minutes, so, get presentable enough to wish us a good trip_"

"I appreciate the sentiment sweet child of mine, but there is really no need for you guys to leave the city". To this, I get a pocking finger on my shoulder. What the? I turn around and Kate is looking at me with this amazing face that says: why would you deny us the perfect opportunity to be alone?

"_No dad, it´s fine! Most of my friends are going there anyways, so, you know, I really wouldn´t mind. Plus, we can go for a few weeks, you guys join us whenever you are ready and we come here with enough time for me to get ready for college_"

"Alexis, are you sure? Cause there´s really no need…"

"_Dad, we´ll talk when we get there, but it really is fine_"

"Ok, see you in a few!"

"Castle, don´t get me wrong, I love your daughter and your mother, but is it too selfish from my part to just want a few days alone with you? I just… I feel we have such a long time to make up for, that the whole idea of, I don´t know, 72 hours alone together before you leave for the Hamptons or wherever it is your going to this summer sounds like a really good idea to me…"

"Kate, first of all, it´s not selfish. I´d actually be worried if you didn´t expect for us to have some quality time together, just the two of us. Secondly, I wouldn't mind that at all, I just don´t want for my daughter to feel unwelcome in her own home. Even if she chooses to live in campus or near Columbia, I´d still want for her to know she can always come to the loft and call it home. And last but not least Kate, if you don´t agree to come to the Hamptons with me, I might have to force you to do so"

"No Castle! That´s your time with Alexis. Who knows how many more summers she´d allow you to string her along? There´s nothing I´d want less than to come between you and her"

"That´s the thing Kate. You wouldn´t come between us! You´d become a part of us. As far as I´m concerned, you are a in this picture for the long run Beckett, which means, you´ll be with us for many summers to come. So why not start now?"

"I`ll leave it up to them. Either way, can we have our three days? Please? Pretty please?"

"We sure can!" And with a flourish, I get up and string her along "They´ll be here any minute now. If we´re there to greet them we might avoid some sneaky comment from my mother. But don´t hold your breath on that…"

Chinese actually arrives before mother and Alexis do but that doesn´t go as planned: "Really dad? Chinese at four?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Guys, did you forget we met for brunch? We left you alone for a few hours, and you buy Chinese? Popcorn, homemade cookies, toast or cereal, I mean, even ice cream would make more sense than Chinese!"

"I guess we lost track of time! I was hungry, felt like lunch time, ordered in! I wasn´t really checking the clock every few minutes you know…"

"Yes dear, we do know! Come on Alexis, let´s get some bags. Darling, order us a car would you?"

Fifteen minute later, all for us are seated around the table, sharing Chinese, cookies, toast and I´m pretty sure there´ll be some ice cream later.

Alexis is the one who actually invites Kate to the Hamptons (I figured it´d be my mother). "So, Kate… do you have any plans for the next few weeks? I mean, do you think you could get a few days off and maybe join us in the Hamptons? I think it´d do us all good to share a few days over there…"

"Uhm… I´d like that a lot Alexis, but are you sure you wouldn´t mind? I mean, it´s you last summer before college and I figured you´d like to share it with you dad and Martha…"

"But you coming doesn´t mean we wouldn't be together, it means my dad would actually be there with us and not going crazy over the fact that two minute went by since the last time he spoke with you. Trust me, with this new development, I really can´t imagine my dad accepting to spend more than a few hours with you out of sight. Besides, if I´m going to trust him to your care, I´ll need to make sure you´re capable of doing so, and trust me, he´s as demanding as a nine year old on a sugar rush!"

"Hey! I´m right here!"

"Yeah Castle, eating Chinese and thinking about having ice cream at four in the afternoon!"

"But ice cream goes hand in hand with Chinese!"

"No one said it didn´t. Now, go get us all some bowls of ice cream while we adults talk things over"

"Yes Beckett!"

"Hump, Kate darling, you are much better with him that we thought you´d be! Now, you´re free to refuse to come with us, but know we´d all love to have you there!"

Thank you mother! My time to participate: "Yes we would! How about we give you guys a few days to get settled and we go up there some time mid week?"

"More like, how we give you guys a few days alone and we wait for you guys on Wednesday around dinner time? You might dream of me as you little girl dad, but I´m not that little! Have fun, talk about all those things you´ve been avoiding to talk and we´ll have a nice welcoming dinner ready for you guys"

"Alexis, that sounds great, thank you!"

"No Kate, thank you. My dad and groceries in the Hamptons, so not a good idea! If you think this is crazy, you should have seen him last summer: whipped cream and caned cheese was all he´d eat"

"I was too sad to eat anything else!"

"I´m sorry for that Castle. Well, Castle family actually. I know my decision to go away hurt all of you, and I´m sorry I did it"

"As long as you´re here to stay now Kate, we can live with a summer long mistake. My son is lucky to have you, and so are we. Now, should we go Alexis and leave this two love birds to clean this mess and whatever?"

"That we shall!" And without missing a beat, we are kissing goodbye and they`re off the door before I know it. I make a beeline to where Kate is standing and take her by the waist to give her a hard, long and maddening kiss. We kiss for a few minutes but when I start kissing her neck she pushes me away.

"Cleaning first, whatever after!"

"But Kate!"

"No buts Castle. Cleaning then whatever"


	8. Hour 18

Hi! First, thanks to those who reviewed! I hadn`t realize the apostrophes thing, hope I solved it, if not, feel free to let me know. As usual, any idea for what they can do for the next 52 hours, let them come!

I appreciate the sticking by!

i.

ps: I changed the point of view, Kate is telling the story now

Hour 19

What on earth was I thinking when I told Castle we should clean first?. There really isn't anything I'd like more than kiss him nuts and let him take me to bed. But the thing is…my whole body is stiff. I hurt all over from my fight with Madox and the truth is, I want for our first time to be mind blowing. I know that whenever we finally get together it will be. But I know Castle. He'll be mindful of my bruises and the few cuts I have. And I don't want that for our first time. I want it to be free, and relaxed, and special.

"Hey. Where did you go?"

"I was thinking about us, and you know… whatever…"

"Why is it that you`re just thinking instead of doing about it?"

"Because I'm not sure today is going to be the day…" And I can't stop the smile forming after seeing his pout. "Can you honestly promise you're going to do all you've been wanting to do with me when we finally go to bed together for something else than sleeping, regardless of my bruises? I know I want you to feel comfortable with doing everything, just as I know I'll let go once we get down to it, but I'm not sure I'll be able to control the whimpers, and they won't sound good. I've seen you react to my pain Rick, and I don't want to see that face when we're making love. I want to elicit a lot of reactions from you in that amazing bed of yours, but none of them are related to worry or regret."

"Kate I love you so much, and I want you so much. But I can't say you're wrong. I won't be able to do any of the things I'd like to do after hearing you whimpering the first time."

"But that doesn't mean we can't do a hell lot of kissing in the mean time…"

"Yeah? Wanna go to the couch?"

"Yeah…grab some whine? And some M&Ms? I need to visit the little girl's room for a sec" And I can't resist the urge to kiss him. Hard and long and lovingly.

"Go, I'll be right here". And I reluctantly leave his embrace. I really need to pee…When I go back to the living room, his waiting for me on the couch, a glass of wine in hand, another one waiting for me. Next to a glass of water and what looks like a painkiller. "I thought speeding the healing process wouldn't hurt…" And after seeing the little white pill, I can´t think of a better plan.

I sit down next to him, take the pill with some water and then pick my wine. "God! This is good"

"Only the best for you Beckett" He pulls me close to him and I can't hold the sigh.

"I so can get used to this"

"I know what you mean…So, uh, I know what happened yesterday, well sort of… we never really got around to you handing in your badge…" I knew this was coming… suddenly, trying to hold the pain related whimpers sounds so good…

"Yeah…uh, right after her we-are-a-disgrace-to-the-force-and-a-shame-to-the-uniform speech, Gates told Espo and me that we were suspended. Espo handed in his badge and gun and when she asked me for mine, I looked at it and I realized that I didn't really mind handing it in"

"And what did Iron Gates said?"

"I didn't stay to hear it… I just turned my back to her and left. I put all my belongings in a box and with one last look to the bullpen, took the elevator down, called a taxi and left everything at my place, right next to the door" I take a deep breath. He'll have something to say about the next part. "I didn't want to stay there. I needed some air. And you. I really needed you. But I knew you were at Alexis's graduation. And I knew that after our last talk it would have made you mad and I couldn't do that to your girl. She's an amazing person and she deserved all your attention. So, I just walked around for a while"

"I wish I could say you should have called, but you were right, I would have been mad at you and Alexis didn't deserve that. Promise me that no matter what, we'll never part ways like that. I mean, not knowing where we stand with each other"

"I knew where we stood Castle: unless I was ready to forgive you for hiding information from me and beg your forgiveness for lying to you about the shooting, you weren't coming back. And that thought hurt a hell of a lot more than handing in my badge. While I was walking I got to our swing set and that's when I knew for sure. I could stand losing my job and what it entailed, but loosing you, that's what almost got me killed"

"But Kate! It was raining! Pouring down non less! And you just sat there, at our swing set?"

"But it felt good Castle, it was what I needed. I was getting soaked to the bone, and it felt as if I was admitting to needing you that much. You're in my bones and I want to keep you there".

"And you have me there. But next time you need to feel me in your bones and I'm not there to help you, You're allowed to go to the first coffee shop you find"

"Duly noted. Now, can we get to the reason why we are on this amazing couch of yours?"

"Oh" kiss "you" kiss "mean" kiss "that" kiss "you're" kiss "here" kiss "for" kiss "my" kiss "body"

"Shut up and kiss me already Mr. Castle!"

"Whatever you say Beckett, whatever you say!"

After a few amazing kisses (if he can do that to me with just his lips, I don't wanna know what his going to do to me when we actually go further than that)I'm getting a little drowsy. A talk, painkillers and wine, not a good combination. Castle seems to sense this.

"Close your eyes Kate. I'll be here when you wake up"

I snuggle closer to him and he takes the wine glass from my hand. I don't really care about much right now. But I can't help lifting up a bit to give him a peck on the lips. "Thank you Castle. For your patience, for waiting, for helping me tear that wall down. For always push me to be better. I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Thank you. And I love you. So much"

"I'll always be here. Now sleep. And when you wake up, we can go to the swing set"

"Uh, not today, I want you al for myself for the rest of the day. But maybe tomorrow. And we can plan our path there"

"Yeah, I'd like that. Love you"

"Uhmhum"

_That's all for today. Thanks for reading, and reviews make my day _


	9. The remanent of hour 19 and hour 20

_Ok, first of all, thank you for the reviews. As everybody knows, I have some apostrophes and grammar issues. I apologize for that and it makes me appreciate even more the fact that some of you keep coming back regardless of that! _

_As one of you dully noted, I´m still not sure if I want this to be a first o third person pint of view. I can commit to making it a first person from now on, changing from Castle to Beckett when I feel the story needs it (I like the whole first person thing, hope you guys agree!). I went back to the other chapters and tried to fix that._

_The good news is: the story got itself a beta! (Can´t really say I did much to get o_n_e but luckily for us all, .stanathan realized that the story really needed one and offered herself for the job :) _

_Still not mine. Dang._

_i._

The Remnants of Hour 19 and Hour 20

I really don't know why it surprises me like it does... But waking up on Castle's couch, surrounded by him, with his smell overshadowing mine, quickly earns a slot in the top three things I love the most. Right next to hugging him and kissing him. Though, I do reserve the right to displace them when we finally begin our 72 hour clothes optional festival.

I hate this. I hate knowing that we had to delay it because of my hard-headedness! If I had listened to him (and my heart, for that matter), I wouldn't have gone after Maddox.

When Castle told me he loved me and that I needed to quit my mother's case before they killed me, I should have done it. I should have listened to him.

I knew back then that I wanted him. And I knew that saying "let them come" meant a goodbye.

But no, hard headed like a bull, I had to go right into the lion's den leaving Rick behind. And so, no naked festival for us.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I wear my battle wounds with the pride. It's not like I'm ashamed of them or that I'd mind if he ever saw me physically hurt... But this once... This once I am ashamed of them. Not only because they are a reminder of how little I can do to stop them, but also because they remind me of the saddesr face I ever saw him wear. Regret, defeat, weariness, saddness, resignation, frustration, disappointment, overshadowing the love I know he felt for me then and still feels for me now. And if I know him at all, I know my bruises will make some doubts arise in him. Things such as "are you really sure you want to quit?" or "who am I to ask you to quit for me?"

When I told him I was done I meant it. His leaving hurt so much more than handing in my badge. However, we still have a long way to go until he fully trusts me again. And I refuse to see regret, and sorrow, and anything beyond pure pleasure when we get down to it.

He is sitting comfortably on the couch and I'm curled into his side, head resting on his chest, and I know my hair's spilling across his torso. I can't help burying my nose into the crook of his neck. One of my hands is draped across his waist, while the other one is trapped between us. My legs are trapped under me and I can't stop the self-deprecating thoughts.

We could be doing so much more than just cuddling. But we won't. Not today, and probably not tomorrow, either. I'm not even sure if I'll allow him to see me naked again tonight.

"Stop thinking so loudly." He says to me. "I want to keep you in my arms a little bit longer, and if you keep thinking we'll start talking and then I'd want to ssee your eyes, which is a good activity, but not a good substitute to having you in my arms."

"You're such a girl!" I laugh at him.

"But you still love me."

"Yes, I definitely do... And don't you forget it."

"I won't. In fact, I'll spend the rest of my life reminding you of that fact."

"You won't need to do that. I won't forget. And once again, are you asking?"

"I don't know if I'm allowed to do that. We still have to define the path and all that..."

"We still have many things to talk about, but you don't want to."

"Oh, no. I really do want to talk. If I'm not allowed to make love to you, we should at least make up the lost time in all the other aspects, and talking is one of them. It's just that I'm cold and you make such a good blanket..."

Why is it that there's always a blanket on the couch except for whem you really need one? "Stay here. I'll be back in a sec." I say, standing up.

"Where are you going?" He asks, grabbing my hand.

"You'll see," I let go of his hand and run through his office to his bedroom. I grab the bed cover and a pillow and jead back to where he's waiting for me. I put the pillow next to one of the hand rests and ask him to lay down. Once he's comfortable I hug myself to place the ned cover over me. "This way I can be your blanket and we can still talk."

"And what's with the cover?"

"In case we need to hide from the world... Plus, I was getting a little cold myself."

"So, what topic should we approach now that I can see you and we are both warm?"

"How about you finding out I'd lied to you and the subsequent parade of flighg attendants?"

"Just so you know, nothing happened with Jacinda. But I was mad at you, Kate. So, so mad!"

"What made you realize I knew you loved me?"

"During the bombimg case. You told our suspect you had been shot in the chest and that you remembered every second of it. I went to get us some coffee and came back anc you were interrogating him, so I watched from behind the glass. Ir hurt so much, Beckett..."

"But why didn't you just confront me about it? A few hours before we'd been talking about living with - or without - regrets and suddenly you weren't talking to me. That hurt too, Castle... I mean, I thought you trusted than that! We'd been getting closer to each other! I even got close to kissing you a few times this year: right after the bank robbery, and then again after the whole swimming in the Hudson River thing... And suddenly you were running away from me! For a minute there, I thought it was because you regretted waiting for me." I whisper.

"And at that moment, I did Kate. I was blinded by the anger I felt, and I thought the reason you'd lied to me was related to you not loving me back. And I couldn't understand why you'd told me about the wall when we were on the swingset if you were thinking about someone else... Motorcycle boy, even..."

After hearing that, I pull the cover over us, and with the strongest yet most tender voice I can muster, I try to convince him of my feelings: "I was talking about you, Castle. I broke up with DOCTOR Motorcycle Boy for you, because I wanted to be more for you. I knew I wasn't ready to be with you: I had too many regrets and bad things pulling me back. That talk, on the swing set, was the closest I could get back then to admitting out loud my feelings for you. I discussed them with my shrink once and then with Lanie a few weeks ago when you were avoiding me. When I was finally ready to face the idea of an 'us', it was too late. I felt like you'd moved on, leaving me behind."  
"I now know that you deserved a chance to right your wrong, but as I said, I was blinded... And can we get the cover down a bit? It's beginning to feel like a human oven!"  
"Hadn't you realised Castle? I'm getting you ready to be slowly eaten in that obscenely big bed of yours."  
"Not funny Kate! That's it: no more coffee in the morning for you, young lady!"  
"All the more reason to eat you, Ricky," I purr. "Do you really see me as a woman willing to starve herself to death?"  
"Well, if your styrofoam temple is any indication, you just might!"  
"Hey! Not fair! Cooking for one is no fun! But, if it's okay with you, I'd love to cook for us." As I say this I realise I'd really like to cook for him. Like, right now. "In fact, I saw some chicken breasts in your freezer that demand my attention. Why don't we get them out to de-frost?"  
He pulls me down for a kiss as I'm trying to get up, and I can't deny him that, right? You never deny a kiss or a hug to those you love. My mother used to say that. Quite convenient, now that I think about it... She always said it when we were near my friends or a guy I liked... It used to be so embarrassing...  
"Hey, stop doing that!" Castle exclaims, bringing me out of my reverie.  
"Doing what?"  
"Whenever I'm about to kiss you, you get this faraway look. Are yiu daydreaming, Miss Beckett?"  
"Not really, no. Just remembering..."  
"Good things, I hope."  
Oh, they are. "I was thinking about my mum. She used to coarse me into kissing and hugging her in front of my friends by telling me that you never deny a kiss to those you love. It's so good to remember my mother as this imperfect human being, who loved to embarras me just as much as she loved my dad and I. We never shared a perfect relationship. I wasn't like Alexis while I was growing up and my parents weren't as understanding as you are with her. But we were a tight group and we shared a lot of happy memories. Thank you for triggering them."  
"Always. Now... Did you say something about breasts, or was it just me imagining things?"  
"Chicken breast, Castle! Get your mind out of the gutter!"  
I don't even try to resist kissing that damned pout off his face!  
I can work on a frozen chicken breast in a few minutes, right...?


	10. Hour 21

Sorry for the delay, but this whole thing of having an amazing beta (THANK YOU so much .stanathan) means it takes more days to make sure what I write is presentable… And I mean, you guys saw the first chapters… I really need the beta! Thanks for sticking with the story, hope you like it. Reviews are truly appreciated and so far, they've been really useful, so if you have a moment, keep them coming!

**Hour 21**

I can't believe I've been allowed to kiss Beckett, and hug her and grab her from behind for the last 20 hours. Four more, and we'll be celebrating our one day anniversary.

Four years ago, this wouldn't have happened. If she had allowed me to take her to my bed right after that first case, it would have been an amazing night but nothing else. Maybe page 105 would have been better, but my life would still be that of a souless playboy raising a mother and with a daughter raising him. And I can't avoid loving us all that much better because Kate said no back then. We had a long way to go until we could get here. We survived many fights, arguments, disagreements, and even each of us dating other people. My deep fried Twinkie was as bad as her motorcycle boy.

"Hey, I have a question for you…" I begin.

"Shoot."

"Promise not to hurt me or hide under some irrelevant answer."

"I can do that, as long as you don't ask for my number."

"Uhm, I don't think we're quite there yet. But, I've always wondered about two of your guys…"

"Let me guess, Demming and Josh?"

"Yeah… When and why did you break up with them?"

"Uhm, I broke up with Demming before your going-away-for-the-summer-and-I-might-never-come-back farewell party. And you where the reason behind that break up. I was about to tell you I wanted to go to the Hamptons with you when Gina came in the picture."

"Please tell me that's not true!"

"Why would I lie to you about this? Besides, no more lies and no more non-gift related secrets remember?"

"But Kate! Why didn't you stop me? Or call me back or something! Even then, I knew it was you who I wanted!"

"But still, you spent 5 or 6 months with your ex-wife!"

"Because I didn't dare dream you were single again! And when I found out you were, I didn't dare dream you'd be interested in me. And I preferred dating Gina than keep on hoping you'd open your eyes and see that I was right there."

"Don't blame this on me Castle! We were both at fault! Me for not opening up and you for not gathering enough courage to face me!"

"I know Kate! I do. It just hurts to know we wasted so much time!"

"I don't see it as wasted time Castle. We weren't really ready for it then. I was insecure and still had a lot of things to fix about myself. I mean, look at Josh: he was so good in so many ways. But I choose him because dating him allowed me to keep one foot out the door. You wouldn't have allowed me that space. And I'm ready for a fully committed relationship now, but I wasn't a year ago. I mean I wasn't ready six months ago. And you had some growing up to do, too. I mean, two years ago you talked about Deep Fried Twinkies and sharing grief with that actress to the boys regardless of my presence. So, in a way, you were hoping for me to see you while you were actually hiding from me."

"Hump. I never saw it that way"

"Either way, what's done is done. And just to get this over with, I broke up with Josh that day at the hospital, right after I told you to leave and wait for my call. I couldn't stand the idea of kissing him, knowing just how much that would hurt you. I knew my silence would make you think I with him, but hoping I'd get the chance to one day tell you I hadn't done anything with Josh from the minute I knew for sure that you loved me was comforting in a way. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah, it does. But I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to be there so badly. Every day that went by without a call from you, was a painful preview of what my life was going to be if I never saw you again. And everything was so sad Kate. Following you around allowed me to see what living life really meant. Everything I had before I met you, everything that made me happy during the pre-Beckett era was suddenly so grey without you. Going to the Hamptons knowing I'd never share that with you was depressing. Even driving the Ferrari, after seeing you behind the wheel seemed so trivial. I wanted to drive to your place and stalk you until I could plan an apparently random meeting. The only reason I ever went out was when I was feeling lucky, because it allowed me to dream of running into you. I knew nothing about you, no one did…" I need a hug. And we're suddenly so in sync that she senses it. She drops the knife – yeah, we finally got to my kitchen to work with the chicken breast (which doesn't mean I didn't get a chance to play with hers for a few minutes while we were on the couch) – makes me turn around and hugs me. It's so tender and full of love that for a minute I lose track of time.

"It doesn't matter how many times I apologize for doing that to you Castle. You'll be able to forgive me but I'll never be able to erase this feeling of abandonment you had. I can make you a promise though: I'll never run from you again. There will be times when I need space, and I'll ask for it. Then I'll come running back to you and I'll talk to you about whatever it was that made you run, actually that's not accurate. I just said I wasn't going run. What I meant was I'll come back and talk to you about why I needed that space in the first place. And maybe ten or fifteen years from now, it won't matter so much. It'll be nothing more than a bad memory, for both of us. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok," I tighten our hug once more and then I let her go back to her chicken. "Hey! Did YOU just propose?"

"Well, if you expect for us to spend just 10 or 15 years as a married couple, then you better restrain from actually asking the question. One and done means forever!"

"You're killing me Kate!"

"Rick, I think we both know that's where we're headed, we don't need our swing set and defining our path to know that…"

"Are you sure we can't drop the whole cooking thing and go to bed? I really need to make love to you right now Beckett!"

"Just hugging you reminds me of how sore I am. You saw my bruises this morning Castle. Will you really be able to stay inside of me if that made me whimper? Even if you consciously knew it wasn't your doing? Wouldn't that make you restrain yourself?"

"Yeah… it would." I sigh. "But you can't blame me for not being able to stand to you or hear you hurt…"

"And I'm not. I'm just saying, I really don't want for our first time to be with the two of us mindful of my bruises. Maddox doesn't deserve to rob us of the amazingness of that moment."

"Amazingness?"

"You get the meaning…"

We stand in front of each other for a few minutes, deep blues lost in deep greens. No other words are needed. And it feels so good. Knowing that we have that communication back. Someone at the precinct once referred to it as eye sex. I kind of get it now. Though I'd like to think it's more like eye love. _Please don_'_t say that out loud._

"OK, did the message get through?" She asks me.

"Huh?"

"Hum, I guess we're not as good at talking with the eyes as I thought we were…"

"And what was the message if I might ask?"

"I really, really love you. And I can't wait for these bruises to be less apparent."

How on earth does she do that? I mean, I know we' re good, but no one is that good right? "I think I might have got that, loud and clear. And for the record, just in case my eyes weren't clear enough, I really, really love you too. And trust me, as soon as I can hug you without you feeling sore, I'll start doing all these things I've been dreaming about for the past four years."

Suddenly, just looking is not sufficient. I need to kiss her, and since I can, I do. Deeply and thoroughly, as she deserves to be kissed.

"Atta boy, down! Hold your horses! So not fair, to get me all reeled up when you know you won't deliver! Let's go back to cooking dinner! Peel some potatoes and cut them in little squares. Then put them in the oven with some olive oil over them."

"Yes ma'am."

"Don't you ma'am me Castle!"

"Sir?"

"Kitten!"

"Hey! Not fair! Love?"

"What about love?"

"Can I call you Love?"

"If you feel like it…just…keep it between us? No need to give Lanie and the people at the 12th more ammo you know?"

"Got it. Love."

"Potatoes Rick!"


	11. Hour 22

_It__'s really good to know there's still people reading this story. I appreciate the reviews but above all, I'm thankful for having such an amazing beta as .stanathan. And yes Sumer95, they will go back to the 12, after all, that's what makes the show… I'm a big time shipper since the X-Files, but I believe in maintaining the essence of the show (but my shipper heart is bigger than my case heart!) Plus, I see fan fiction as a way of getting what the producers refuse to give us, and in this case, I believe it's romance :)_

_Ideas, opinions and criticism, is welcomed and cherished, but I won't blackmail you guys for it !_

_Hope you have a great day, and if you find a way of owning Castle with about a 100 dollars, please, let me know…I could really use the income!_

**Hour 22**

I ask him to take the potatoes out of the oven just as I'm giving the final touches to the chicken. It's a simple recipe actually, just some water, lemon, onions and mustard and you've got yourself a really tender chicken breast. We used to make them with my mum almost every Sunday. I don't remember eating them in the last thirteen years. It's kind of sad when I really think about it. I mean, I have all these really good memories of our time as a family and instead of appreciating them, I've been so driven by her murder that I let _that_ define me instead of the good times.

No more.

I have a once in a lifetime opportunity for a happy ever after and I'm going to take it. I expect we'll get some bumps in the road, but all in all, I can see Castle and I living happily ever after…

He sets the table in a nice, almost-but-not-quite romantic way. Table cloth, nice silverware and low lighting, but there're no candles or flowers to be seen. I like it better this way. More of an I-love-spending-my-time-with-you-so-this-is-how-we're-gonna-eat-from-now-on than I'm-trying-to-get-into-your-pants kind of way. And I really like that. Besides, he'll get there as soon as those dammed bruises disappear…

"Can we, maybe, talk about something trivial over dinner?" I ask.

"What, like the weather?"

"Yeah. Or, I don't know, something less dangerous than what happened yesterday, my mothers case, what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, my lying, your hiding…"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture. Something less meaningful."

"No, not less meaningful, just less stressful."

"Such as?"

I hold on to the answer until we're seated. He's in the corner and I'm to his left. I like it this way, it allows us to share meaningful looks but I can also place a hand on his knee. "Uh, how about your next book?"

"Frozen Heat?"

"Yeah. How is the writing coming along? You haven't spoken about it much…"

"It's actually almost done…"

"Really? Does that mean I can almost read it?"

"Why, anxious much?"

"Yeah. Heaps! I love your books… always have…"

"You- uh, that's the first time you've openly admitted to enjoying them."

"C'mon Castle! You've seen my bookcase, you know I have them all…"

"Yeah, but you never told me when you bought your first copy. Was it before or after I started shadowing you?"

"Ok, so maybe the whole 'how is your next book coming' thing isn't less trivial than denying I love yous…"

"Oh, so you've been a fan forever? Do you have any signed copies? When did you read your fist Castle book?"

"My first Castle book was the first of the Storm saga."

"Ok, the first Storm book… that means almost fourteen years ago…"

"I was in college. My mother thought I was spending way too much time reading law books so she bought it for me and sent it with a postcard of this dog wearing glasses and reading the paper. It was hilarious! Anyway, she said it'd do me good to read something less boring. We read it in the same week and we talked about it over the phone for hours. We'd agree on which chapters to read for the next day and then argue about them. It was the last gift she ever gave me…After seeing me reading it over and over again, a friend at the academy told me you had lots of other books. And I went to my parent's place, hoping my mother had them and after hours of searching, I found all of them in this amazingly well wrapped box under my parents bed. The paper was Christmassy and had my name on a card. She wanted me to have them all so I'd always have something good to read. And I've been your number one fan since then."

"Thank you for sharing that with me."

"No Castle. Thank you for saving me years before actually meeting me. I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you. I remember waiting in line for hours for you to sign that first Storm book for me."

"I wish I remembered you…"

"I'm glad you don't. I wasn't in a happy place. But even then, you knew how to make me smile."

"Why? Did I write you a dedication? Did I hit on you?"

"No, you didn't hit on me. But yes, you did write a dedication. It went something like this: 'To Kate. Hope those sad eyes find a reason to smile again. It's a shame for this word to miss that smile'. It was sweet and perceptive. It made me believe you really saw your fans, not just through them."

"I don't know about the fans, but I'm glad I saw you, even if I don't remember doing so…"

"I am too."

We spend the rest of the dinner in comfortable silence. We share some meaningful looks and some under-the-table touches. They make me feel like a teenager again. It's absurd really. He saw me naked last night and again this morning, but those almost furtive touches are making a big hole in my "he won't see me naked again tonight" resolution. I place my hand in his and put them both over the table. Even if he learns to live with them, I don't want for him to see my bruises again. For the first time in my life, I'm not proud of sporting those purple reminders of my fight with Maddox. And our fight. I don't want either one of us remembering that fight. I focus on our joined hands. I let my fingers play with his in this silent dance. I place mine between his only to take them out and place all of them inside his palm and then start again.

"Have I told you yet that I love you?" He asks suddenly.

"Still?" I wonder.

"Always."

"Good. Because I really love you too."

"Does that mean I'll get to see you naked tonight?"

"Nice try mister, but no way José!"

"Why not? I know it's not because of the scar. Is it because of the bruises? Because I really don't mind those…"

"But I do Castle. They're a painful reminder of the last time I turned my back on you."

"But that's just it Kate. It was the last time. Besides, I see them as the last time I almost lost you forever but because of Ryan I get to share the rest of my life with you. They remind me that you're done with chasing death. I know shit happens, but at least for a while, we won't go looking for it, you know? And they remind me of that. Actually, I think I love those bruises…"

"I'm still not sure you'll get to see them tonight…"

"Fine. But mind my words: this talk aint over 'til it's over. And it'll only be over when I get to hold you against me, no t-shirts, no underwear in between. I can live without making love to you tonight. But that's as far as I'll go."

"We'll see who wins by the end of the night."

"Having you with me means I've already won."

"Cut the cheesy phrases, they won't get you no-where!"

"Fine. Let's clean this up so we can go cuddle one the couch."

"By cuddle you mean necking?"

"Maybe… just wait and see. I'll wash this up, you find some dessert that says 'happy first 24 hours together'. I've been able to kiss you and grope you all day. That deserves a celebration!"

"Fine by me!" God it feels so good to kiss him. After four years of restraining ourselves, we can't seem to be able to stop touching each other. We opened the gates and the flood came in. And I'm loving every second of it!


	12. Hour 23

Thanks for coming back to this story, thanks for the reviews and for the alerts! And thanks to my beta .stanathan. Hope you enjoy reading as I enjoy writing!

Nop, not mine…

**Hour 23**

Kissing her has become my favorite thing in the world. Knowing I can do so freely and without fear of death, is the second, and waking up with my arms around her is the third. I know I've said this before, but I'm not sure I'll ever get tired of saying this. Having her here, in my loft, on the couch, kissing her as if there is no tomorrow is simply too good to be true.

So I pinch her.

"Hey! What was that for?" Hey exclaims after a small, high-pitched yelp, pulling away from me.

"I needed to make sure I wasn't dreaming." I try to pull her back and resume our kissing, but she'll have none of it.

"So you PINCHED me?"

"Seemed close enough to pinching myself…Besides, your yelp in my mouth was way sexier than mine would have been…"

"Seriously Castle? Covered in bruises as I already am, you decided that giving me an extra one would be the greatest way of proving that this is actually happening?"

"Uhm… I didn't think it through?"

"You sure didn't…"

I realize that her breathing isn't even yet and I decide that it might be enough for now. I feel like talking again… I tug her to me and in a low voice, trying to regain the mood we were in a few minutes ago –before the whole pinching thing – I ask her: "Kate?" all I get is a grunt "Don't you think we should get our own cheesy sentence?"

"It's either too late or I'm way to sober to follow you, Rick. You're gonna have to explain yourself a bit better than that… you know, like a bestselling author?"

"You know how we've been saying _'Have I told you I love you? Still? Always,'_ all day? I just think we should get one that is truly ours…"

"I hadn't realized we had stolen it from someone…"

"Not someone's, something's. It belongs to the movie, 'An indecent proposal', with Demi Moore and Robert Redford."

"I don't think I've seen that movie…"

"How could you not have? It's an all time classic!"

"Still, I don't remember having seen it…"

"Then we should watch it right now!"

And without further preamble, I go to my DVD collection, find the movie and put it on. And then I remember: "I know we've agreed on a 24 hour dessert, but we have a problem…"

"Which is?"

"If we start the movie now, we'll need to pause it in order to do a proper celebration…"

"I'll tell you what… since we WON'T be doing a proper celebration tonight, why don't we leave the dessert for when we can actually celebrate and right now we focus on the movie. And maybe some popcorn. And M&Ms. Do you have some? They go amazingly with the popcorn!"

"The two of them together?"

"Yeah! I'll make some and you'll see!" We go to the kitchen and as I get some coffee ready (how could we not drink coffee right now?), I get to see her earth shattering smile. I'd like to think it's because of the coffee and what it means to us, but I can't avoid thinking it might be because she's happy that she has a weird food concoction I have yet to try. Trust me, that is not an easy thing to accomplish.

The smell of the popcorn is always amazing, but this time it seems to be even better. I turn around to where she's making it and I see why. She's not making it in the microwave, but in a pan. And she put sugar on it. Like, lots of suger. Seeing my raised eyebrow, she says "You just wait and see. You won't get a greater popcorn than this. During my semester in Russia I met an Argentinean girl and she always made it like this. Less butter, no salt, a lot of sugar. It's sweet, and the sugar makes this caramel that simply adds crunchiness to the whole munching experience."

"Whatever you say Miss Beckett!" I get the M&M's and the coffees and go to leave them near the couch. Going back to the kitchen, I can't stop myself. I hold her from behind and leave a whole trail of kisses down her neck.

"Hey! Not fair! You can't distract me while I'm making this! It burns easily, and trust me, you don't want to clean this pan if the sugar burns!"

"I don't care, I'll buy a new one."

"No Castle. You have a perfectly good pan. I'm not going to let us ruin it just because you can't hold still for a few minutes! Bring the M&M's back and then go sit on the couch!"

"But what if I don't like it? I'll be popcorn and M&M-less! And you can't have a movie without food!"

"If you don't like it, I'll sleep with my t-shirt on tonight."

"And if I do like it?"

"I'll only wear your boxers. Now go get them so I can place them all in the same bowl."

"That's blackmailing."

"So? I'm not a cop anymore. I reckon I can commit a some minor felonies, I've got a few people in the force that owe me some favors…"

"You're really not going back?"

"I won't go in tomorrow, nor the day after that. We'll talk about it at the swings, but can I get a few more hours to get ready to discuss it? I can tell you this though: we deserve a summer. So even if we agree that I should go to the 12th and beg Gates to give me my job back, I won't be reinstated until I've had my way with you. And we have way too much lost time to make up for… On the other hand, I know I said I was done with my mother's case, and I am done with it so don't fuss, but I'm worried that the fact that it's still unsolved will loom over our relationship and I really don't want that. I know that today I'm more than happy to say no to it and stay here. But do you think you'll be strong enough to pull me back when the next big lead comes our way? Will you be honest with me if you get a new lead? Will I be grown up enough to admit I can't bring them down alone and step aside? And more importantly, will we have people we can trust that can take over it? I don't want to send Ryan and Espo alone. Actually, I don't want to send them at all. So we'll need a contingency plan you know? What to do in case of an emergency."

"Like what can we say to blackmail each other to stop us both from running towards them?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"We should bring food to the swings… It'll be a _really_ long talk…"

"I know. But let's go back to the cheesy remarks and the movie, at least for tonight OK? I feel like we've built this little bubble around us, I don't want to burst it yet…And knowing us, there'll be some shouting before we come to an agreement. Don't get me wrong, I want to get it over with as soon as possible, but I'm too hard headed and you're too over protective…"

"I know. But you're right. Let's enjoy this peace while we have it and worry about the world tomorrow."

By this point, her concoction is ready, so we go to the couch and get comfortable. I love the feeling of having her pressed against my left side. Even more so, because having my left arm around her means I can't get the popcorn – don't forget I'm holding my coffee with my right – so she has to feed it to me. And it's so good! The combination of the sweet, crunchy, warm popcorn, the slowly melting chocolate and her hands, make this snack the greatest one I've ever had! "You're sooo sleeping with only my boxers tonight…But I don't get it: why do I win after admitting defeat?"

"It's a win-win Castle. We eat what I wanted to eat, I sleep against your skin again and you're not allowed to, firstly, complain about the food and secondly, gloat about having your way defining my sleeping attire."

"Good God woman! I love the way your mind works!"

"And I planed all that while you were kissing my neck. Imagine what I could plan while you're doing other things…"

I gulp down some coffee and start the movie before I have the chance to _not_ resist the pull this banter is generating!

She'll be the death of me.


	13. Hour 24

**Hour 24**

Ok, I hate this movie. Why am I watching this? Does Castle see a correlation with our life? Does he think I'm with him for the money? I don't even dare to ask that… "Castle, why are we watching this movie?"

"What do you mean why? Don't you like it?"

"What's to like Castle? It's about buying love!"

"No it's not! It doesn't end like that, Kate! It has a happy ending, I promise."

"I still don't like it. I mean, would you sell a night with me for a million dollars?"

"Kate, I wouldn't sell a hug from you for all the money in the world."

"Down boy. I hug Ryan and Espo from time to time."

"They're your partners Kate. It'd be like being jealous of a brother."

"We were partners too Castle…"

"Yeah, but I never saw you as a sister…"

"And I never saw you as a brother…but we were still partners…"

"Is this your way of saying that I should be worried about you being alone with the guys?"

"First of all, no. You should _not_ be worried when I'm alone with the guys, or with anyone else for that matter. I've done a few things I regret, but I'm no cheater. As far as I' concerned, it's you and me, no one else. Secondly, don't change the subject. Why are we watching a movie about buying love?"

"Kate, it's not about buying love! Yes, something happens between Demi's character and Redford's, but that's not the way it ends."

"I still don't like it. I hate seeing how he uses their need to fuck them up. It saddens me. And I'm not in the mood for sad movies. I want to see a happy one. Better yet, I don't want to see a movie at all. We're all out of popcorn, so there's really no need for us to keep on watching TV." This is ridiculous. I don't like this movie and I don't have to watch it.

"Ok, what do you want to do?"

"What do I want to do or what can we do? Those questions have very different answers…" I love the grunt that sentence inspires…

"Ok, new rule Kate… no more innuendo and sexually charged comments unless we can act on them. That's way more than what I can take Beckett!"

"Can I kiss it better?" I don't wait for an answer. I just lean in and kiss him. Deeply, long and thoroughly. But I'm still off. I really don't like that movie…And of course, my ever attentive writer sees it…

"Hey, what is it? Did the movie really upset you that much?"

"No… it's just that, well, you have all this money, and I don't, I mean, I'm actually unemployed…"

"Kate, you know I don't give a shit about that right?"

"I know. And truth be told, neither do I. Trust me, I know both of us better than that. And I'm not that self deprecating.…it's just that… well, people will think that's the only reason I'm with you… you know… as some sort of gold digger… after all, we only got together after I became un-employed…"

"Beckett, if anyone asks, and believe me, I don't believe there's a human being that could actually think that of you, we'll tell them the truth: that it took us some work, some growing up and maybe some fucking up until we could get our things together. And if they still ask 'why now', when you are unemployed and without an income, we'll tell them that you didn't feel comfortable dating your partner, so, you quitting the force was the final straw, 'cause I was a too jealous a man to date you and leave you all alone in such a man's word. But… are you? A gold digger I mean?"

"What? No! You know I'm not! I actually hate it a little bit…'cause, you know, if you didn't have it you wouldn't fly to Vegas just because you misinterpret something I say to a suspect…"

"I'm sorry about that…"

"You once told me money doesn't change people, it just amplifies what they always were."

"And I still think that… I guess in my case, it means I'm a coward…I could have stayed here and confronted you, but no, I took the easy way out and hurt you in the process… And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for every time my selfishness and my money and my ego got in the way of being who you need me to be…"

"No more I'm sorrys for the rest of the night! Lest' keep the bubble…"

And with that, we haphazardly crash onto the couch, with him on top of me, kissing fervently and reverently. I felt reassured by the weight of him pressing me into the cushions, feeling every inch of him fully against me. I just wish it didn't evoke such a strong deep-purple-bruisses-result-of-a-damn-fight-I-wanna-forget-all-about pain! I'm about to complain when I hear my phone buzzing…Who on earth could be calling!

"Rick, I think I should get that… at least see who it is…"

"Don't" kiss "wanna" kiss "let" kiss "you" kiss "up."

I pull back as far as I can, trying to make eye contact and say: "Rick, it could be important… I did disappear on Espo and Ryan, not an hour after almost falling off a roof. Don't forget I only talked to Lanie, so they might or might not know where I am…"

"Are you going to tell them? Who ever is on the phone?"

"I just might. But please, let me up! Whoever it is, this is the third time they've called in less than five minutes. They seem to be determined…"

"Yeah, ok, come on. Let's get you up." He gets up himself and then helps me up.

I go to the kitchen and grab my phone. Just as I'm unlocking it to get the name of the person behind the three missed calls, Ryan's face starts flashing. He's the one who's been calling. "Beckett" -it's an automatic response, but at the same time, it seems so foreign…

"Oh, Kate! Thank god! I'm sorry for the time, but I just couldn't hold back anymore! I'm sorry. I know you guys think I betrayed you, but I had to do it. Castle wouldn't pick up his phone, and calling Lanie was useless, but the truth is, if anything had happened to either one of you guys, both of them would have killed me. And you know, Castle can come up with really good murder ideas and Lanie can help him cover it up, and then Jenny would have been a widower and I couldn't live with that, you know?"

Castle can't avoid shamelessly trying to listen to the conversation, so I put Ryan on speaker phone but silently signal for him to keep quiet. This is my talk with my friend. He can talk to him once I'm done.

"Ryan. Calm down. You're rambling, and the truth is, you have nothing to apologize for! You did what you had to do! If anything, I owe you an apology. For putting you in that position and for letting you worry this long. I've been hiding all day, and the truth is, I should have called you to ask you how you were doing, and above all, to thank you. But I had many apologies to deliver today, and the truth is, I only got around to the first one…"

"Are you at Castle's?"

"Yeah… I came right here after handing in my badge. I just had to apologize to Writer Boy for, once again, for not listening to him… And we had so many things to talk about, so many things to fix, that I just forgot about you and Espo. I'm sorry for leaving without talking to you. You deserved so much more…"

"I was so worried Becket… I know Javi feels betrayed, and I just…I had to know if you felt the same. Deep down I know I did the right thing, 'cause I wouldn't have been able to lift you up without the help of the other officer, but Javi wouldn't even listen to me…"

"Give him time Ryan. I'll call him tomorrow and try to talk some sense into him. But we all know I wouldn't be here today if you hadn't been there. So, thank you Ryan." I look at Castle. He's dying to say something so I give him a quick nod to let him know he can.

"Ryan."

"Hey Castle, I didn't realize you where there…"

"She told you she was here."

"Yeah, but knowing Beckett, I assumed she had locked herself up in the bathroom or in a closet or something!"

To this, Rick laughs shamelessly "Hey! I'm still here! And I'm your superior!"

"No, at least right now, you're not. He's the only actual member of any law enforcement unit, meaning, he can actually put you in jail if you don't treat him right!"

"So it's true? You're not coming back?"

"Who told you?"

"Javi… I called him earlier and he said I was the reason you were never coming back…"

"I'm not sure yet Kevin… I guess it's another one of the things I have to talk about with Castle. I might go back, but it'll be on my terms. And I know I'm not ready yet… but going back to our conversation, stop talking as if I wasn't there."

"Ryan, what I meant to say before you interrupted me was thank you. For being there when I wasn't. For being a friend no one deserves to have. For having our team's back all the time. You are the reason Beckett is here, with me today. And for that, I'll never be able to thank you enough. So, if you ever want to take Jenny to any place in the world, just let me know when you can take a few days off work and where you want to go and I'll send you guys there."

"There's no need for such a thing Castle. As long as you keep Beckett safe, it's fine by me."

"At least let us take you guys out for dinner. Thursday night. We'll text you the time and place, ok?"

"Sounds good to me if it's ok with Beckett…"

"It is, Ryan. It'd be good to see Jenny! It's been ages since our last get together!" I say.

"It sure has… So, uhm, I guess I'll let you guys go. It's getting late and Jenny must be getting worried…She always wakes up when I'm not in the bed…" He explains.

"Go back to your wife Kev. We'll catch on this the day after tomorrow." I promise him.

"Bye Ryan, you're a great friend." Castle says.

"And you are a great man Castle." He replies.

And with that, I press the End Call button.

It's time to get ready for bed…


	14. Hours 25 through 34

Don't you guy love having an amazing beta? I do…just like in the previous chapters, this one has been beta proved by .stanathan. As always, thank you.

To the readers, thank you for sticking with the story! I hope you're enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Reviews are welcomed, but if it's OK with you guys, I'll take the author/story alerts as positives ones !

**Hours 25 through 34**

Getting ready for bed the second night was somewhat more difficult than the first one. I knew I was going to end up sleeping in just his boxers – he had won the bet after all – but what was I supposed to do? Get the t-shirt I was wearing off, wait for him to do so, would he get too turned on if I leave the bathroom without it? Would he think I was not paying off the bet if I didn't? Luckily, he answers the question for me…

"Kate? Can I come in? I need to brush my teeth!"

"And you can't wait until I'm done getting ready?"

"But Kate! How much do you need to do in there! You're not wearing any make-up, so nothing to do there. You're already clean, so no need for a shower. Not many things left to do! Take a leak, brush your teeth and nothing else! What are you over-thinking in there?"

How does he do that! Is it normal that we're this in sync with each other? I don't really care though… we were never normal, why should we start now? I grab his tooth brush, put some paste on it and go to the door. "Do what you need to do Castle". Without waiting for an answer, I push the tooth brush his way and get back in side. "Truth be told? I was over thinking my sleeping attire. Shut up. Let me talk." I take a deep breath… many things to talk about… "I know how I want to sleep. But I was just thinking how I should get there, you know…could you stand to see me coming out wearing only you boxers? Would you be turned on by that? Would it be too much to ask for you not to act on it? Or would you feel appalled by the bruises I'm still sporting? 'Cause, you know… they're worse than this morning… They always get worse before they get better…And coming out with the button up on would have seemed as if I was running away from paying the bet. And the whole idea of it was to avoid your mocking…"

It takes Castle a few moments, after all, he was brushing his teeth, to come back with an extremely cheesy remark. "Too turned on? Maybe. In a mocking mood? Sure. Left wanting more than just a great view? Definitely. Appalled? Absolutely not possible. Kate I told you before so I'm sticking with the summarized version of it: I love you. Every inch of you, now, when you get pregnant, when you get fat after menopause and when you get too old to walk around the loft without the help of your ruggedly handsome sidekick. "

I give him a quick kiss and with the sexiest smile I can muster, I murmur my devious come back "Your proposing skills keep getting better. Maybe next time you'll get the answer you must be looking for." I'm so close to his ear that I can actually feel my own breath. It's turning ME on. I look back and I know I need to step down a notch. Making him need a cold shower is a bit too evil. Even for me. I take his hand in mine, and after turning off the lights, lead us to the bed. I take my time opening his buttons and after sliding the t-shirt off of him, I give him a quick nod. I'm ready to be undressed. He gives as good as he gets, he takes his time, teasing me with each button. I treasure every minute of it. Once I'm shirtless, he bends down, kisses my scar and gently puts both of us to bed.

Our position is similar to last night's, but this time, I'm the one who's spooning him. I'm too sore to allow him to set the force of the hug, so I place one of my legs under his body, the other one over his and just hold him to me. Plus, the cold night air feels great on the bruises on my back.

Why did I spend so many years fighting this?

I wake up a couple of times during the night. Every single one of them seems to put Castle on alert, because he wakes up not a minute after I realize were I am and who I'm hugging from behind. And the best thing is, he never wakes up enough to turn around and see my smile. I want to enjoy this feeling of happiness without needing to explain what and how I feel. He just wakes up, asks me if I need some Tylenol, and after I decline the offer, he tugs me a bit closer to him and goes back to sleep. The truth is, I could have taken some pills for the pain, but I didn't want to lose my hold on him. I could always take something in the morning.

I eventually fall into a deep slumber and so, hugging him from behind, the second day of what should have been our 72 hours-clothes-optional-festival begins.


	15. Hour 35

As always, my thanks to my amazing beta, .stanathan for her fixing. And to the rest of you, who choose to keep coming back. It's really great to know you're still there. I'm in some real need for ideas for some of the next few hours, so, your input would be more than welcomed.

Hour 35

I wish I wasn't such a deep sleeper. If I wasn't, I'd have woken up in the middle of the night and I would probably have worried for Beckett's wellbeing and it would have made me realize Kate should have taken another pill before bed. Hearing her groan when she stretched cat-like, I can't help wishing I had done something to prevent this. And not only because I won't be getting any until she feels perfectly fine, but because seeing her hurt is something I'd like to avoid for the rest of our lives.

"Stop thinking about it. I woke up more than once last night and every single time I did, I decided to stay in bed and keep you right next to me. I could've asked you to fetch me a pill. I could have gotten one myself. But at three in the morning, holding you seemed like a better idea. So, yeah, I'm a little sore today, but it's nothing a good bath, something for the pain and a lot of physical contact from you can't fix." She says, somehow knowing exactly what I'm thinking about.

Is it normal that we're this in sync? Huh, yeah right. Screw normal. We've never been good at 'normal'.

"Oh yeah? A bath? Can I join you in it?"

"You're expected to do so. After you find me some coffee."

"I'll tell you what. Stay in bed a bit longer while I take care of breakfast and I draw our bath. Ok?" I lean in to kiss her, mainly to swallow her complaints. She might not be ready for a Castle in full take-care-of-the-love-of-his-life-mode.

"Sounds good, Cabana Boy."

"Cabana Boy? Yeah, ok, I can be a Cabana Boy as long as you allow me to take care of you the best way I know how."

"I won't always allow you to do so fully Castle, but today, I'm yours to be taken care of."

"Sound good to me. When the time comes I'll see how to change your mind, but I'll take what I can get."

"Good choice. Now, get moving! I want my coffee, I'm getting hungry and that obscenely big bath tub of yours won't get filled by itself."

"Yes, my Capitan." And taking a small bow, I happily, and proudly, leave the room to grab us something to nibble on with our coffee. I plan to make us something amazing for lunch, so I don't want for her to get too full.

Fifteen minutes later, I go back to where Beckett is waiting for me, carrying a tray with two coffee cups, some buttered toast and orange juice. I leave it on the bed so she can start munching and go to the bathroom to get the bath ready. I open some bubbles I've had under the sink for the longest of times. I think about pouring some salts but refrain from it. It might sting a little bit, I saw a few cuts among those bruises. Better to stay on the safe side.

"Almost ready Beckett."

"Good."

I turn around and she's right there, at the door frame. Wearing my boxers and holding two coffee mugs. What, Cabana Boy doesn't get a toast?

"If you're good I'll bring you one." She holds one of the mugs up, "But I wanna go out for lunch. Maybe to our swing set. Eat hot dogs at the park?"

"Sounds even better than what I had planned."

"And what had you planned?"

"Nothing we can't do tonight, so why spoil the surprise?" With that, she hands me my coffee, allows me to lean in to give her a peck on the lips and then she retreats to get me a piece of toast. When the bath is full, I turn the faucet off and just stand there, waiting for her to get back.

Handing me the toast, she says: "Finish it before joining me. I don't want any crumbs in my bath." And she gets rid of the boxers and gets in.

"Hey! Not fair!"

"What?"

"I wanted to look at you!"

"You can complain for what you didn't get to do or you can come in and join me."

I tear the toast in two, pile the pieces up and get them in my mouth to munch while I get my boxers off. No need to be asked twice. Watching is over rated when you have a wet, naked body in your bath. "Jets on or off?"

"Uhm… on?"

"Whatever my lady chooses." I turn them on and get in behind her. She leans into me and I relinquish the feeling of her back. Waking up with her holding me from behind felt good. But getting to hold her to me feels even better. I offer to tie her hair up but she declines and before I know what's happening, she goes down and gets her whole hair wet.

"This way, you have no choice but to wash it again. I enjoyed the feeling of your hands in my hair yesterday. I'd love to feel them again."

"No need to ask twice." Pushing her a bit to get some moving space, I grab the shampoo and proceed to wash her hair tenderly. When she talked about taking a bath together, I thought I'd have trouble keeping my arousal in check. But seeing her so relaxed, pleased, comfortable and trusting, makes me a puddle of tenderness. It'd even feel wrong to get aroused with this level of trust she's displaying. I use the removable shower head to get it clean to help myself and just repeat the process. Luckily, I brought conditioner in this morning: it gives me a chance to do it once again.

How did I get so lucky? Loving her and being loved by her is just too good. And to think that a month ago I was trying my best to forget about her with a blond bimbo.

"Oh, Castle. That feels so good."

"Yeah, it does. To have you here, with me, allowing me to wash your hair while we're both naked in my bathtub on this lazy morning, knowing that we're not holding back, not keeping secrets from each other, that we're meeting our friends for dinner tomorrow, as a couple, and that we're joining my mother and daughter at the Hamptons the day after that to maybe spend the whole summer there feels really good. Knowing that you know that I'll do my damn best to prove to you I'm your one and done feels amazing."

"Too many words writer boy. But I agree to all you said. There's only one thing that doesn't feel good though. And that's the water. It's barely lukewarm right now and I'm getting cold!"

"What? Kate! It's not fair to use my own shower head as a weapon against me! Are you trying to drown me?"

"No, I was covertly asking you to turn around so I can return the favor."

"Oh yes, please do so!"

We turn around and I lean down a bit so I'm not so high. I know her arms are sore, but I'm not going to throw this amazing opportunity by reminding her of her soreness.

Yes. This really feels good.

After a really big effort on my part to keep my arousal on check during the whole getting each other dry experience, we get ready to leave. By now her clothes are clean, but she chooses to wear her jeans and my white button up. "I know today will have some rough moments and I'm planning on using all the advantages at my disposal."

"And your hotness is one of them?"

"You said it, not me." She winks at me. "C'mon, let's get going. I miss the sun."

"I miss seeing you under it"

"Corniness isn't flattering Castle! And it won't get you anywhere. At least, not with me."

"No more corniness. Duly noted. You're the only one I want to get somewhere with…"

For the first time in 48 hours we leave the loft. I can't help smiling when she grabs my hand. No matter how long it takes us to smooth things out at the swings, I can't wait to start our life together.


	16. Hour 36

Sorry for the delay. I'll try to do better next time! I have some written, but I know I prefer to read betaed things, so I promise not to publish until my amazing beta caskett. vs .stanathan approves!

Hope you enjoy and that if you do, you somehow let me know!

And in case anyone had any doubt, nops, they are not mine! I just play with them while Marlow and company take a well-deserved break!

**Hour 36**

We decide to walk to the park. It's not far from here and the truth is, even when we both want to have this devious talk, we're both stalling a bit. I guess we pushed it far away for the longest of times and now it's like this very big white elephant in the room. The good side of this walk: I get to keep holding his hand. I bet he expected for me to let go once we were on the street, but I make the conscious decision no to let go. Firstly, because I'm loving it as much as I imagine he is. Secondly, because as I told him not fifteen minutes ago, I'm going to use all the advantages I have to make sure this is as painless as possible. And it might be wrong, but having him subdued seems like a really good choice. I don't want him to hold back, but seriously, who wouldn't want to have him happy before we start?

On the other hand… why are we worrying about this so much? We both want to be together. We both know we'll get married eventually. Kids, hopefully, will be a part of our future. I know his loft would be a smarter choice than my flat, I'm stubborn but I like to think I'm not stupid. Besides, it's big enough to fit the few pieces of furniture I'd like to keep.

Difficult issues? What am I going to do when the summer is over? Shall I go back to the force or change venues completely? How is he going to keep me away of my mother's case when it comes biting? Because, let's be honest, sometimes it feels as if the darkness is following us. But that's about it. Because, I mean, really. We all know the whole parading women around just because he doesn't know where we stand is behind our back. It's all part of his past. I can't think of another reason for him to keep secrets from me and-

"Stop thinking so loudly. It's beginning to worry me…" He interrupts my line of thinking.

"There's nothing to worry about Castle!"

"Then why are you allowing me to hold your hand in public?"

"Because there's no reason for me not to allow it. Somebody might see us. So what? I have no reason to hide the fact that, after years of speculation, we're finally together. "

"I love you so much. Did you know that?"

"I did… but you can always prove it."

"Yeah? How?"

"Kiss me."

"Right here? For everyone to see?"

"Right here. For you and I to know it, feel it, enjoy it."

So he does. He's a really good kisser. Definitely the best kisser I've ever dated. But don't let him hear that. His ego is big enough as it is…

"I really, truly love you." He repeats.

"Good, 'cause I really, truly, love you too."

"Not that I have any proof of it, but, how would you feel about me kissing you in public if tomorrow there's a picture about it in the press?"

"I'd prefer it didn't happen, at least until we get the chance to openly tell everybody, but I wouldn't be too mad or appalled by it, if that's your concern…"

I guess it was the right answer because he places his arms around me, kisses me one more time, and as he's about to let go, he re-thinks his decision, hugs me to himself and smells my hair – I know he'd deny it, but he just sniffed my hair – and only after that does he let me go. We start walking again and my fingers search for his and we interlock them. I guess we both relinquished the touch.

After about 20 minutes of walking we finally arrive to our swing set.

And we're disappointed: they are full, and even if there were two empty and next to each other, it'd be useless since the whole area is full of people. We decide to keep walking and looking around for the perfect spot.

Suddenly, we're no longer walking in companionable silence right next to each other: Castle is tugging at my hand, like a child would do to his mother.

"Over there! We can sit under that tree! It's secluded enough to give us some privacy but at the same time it's close to the hot dog vendor, for, you know, lunch time."

"Sounds good to me."

We sit, next to each other, our backs to the tree. It's comfier than I would have guessed. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, I once again take hold of one of his hands and, mesmerized by the sight of our fingers entwined, I begin. "What should we talk about first? The good things or the worrisome ones?"

"Let's do the less wanted first."

"Ok. How would you feel if I never went back to the force?"

"How would you feel Kate? Whichever way you decide to go, whatever you want to do, is fine by me. I get it's your job, and I think I've learned to deal with the fact that it's a dangerous one. What I'm truly worried about is your mother's case. I get the fact that you need answers, but Kate, they are not worth more than your life…"

"I know that. And for the first time in my life, I really get what my dad meant with those words every time he told me to let go. Being with you is more important than the answers."

"But Beckett, I need for you to be sure, and for you to make this decision for the right reasons."

Here we go. The disagreement starting point. It only took us about three minutes. Must be a record for a relationship talk…"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if you only give it up because you think that's what I want, then two, three or twenty years from now you're going to regret it and use it against me, against us. I know it's a lot to ask, but you need to be sure you're giving it up because you know it's too dangerous and not only because it'll make me happy. I don't want for you to ever think you need to do or stop doing something just to please me. Unless it's buying underwear. You can always think about that when you're in Victoria's Secret or wherever it is you buy your undergarments. "

And just like that, the rising tension is gone and back is the playful mood, full of banter we're so good at. "Can I have some time to work on that? I get what you mean, and I agree. Leaving my mother's case just to be with you won't do. I know I won't go back, but in all honesty, all the reasons I have are related to either you, my dad or the boys. I want them to be safe almost as much as you want me to be safe. But maybe you're right. I'm not worried though. I know that a few months with you will be enough to convince me of my life being worthy to be a long one. If only, just to torture you with sexual innuendo and images full of me in red lace. Or black. Maybe even some purple."

"I don't care what colour you choose. As long as I'm allowed to take it off you, it's fine by me."

"But just in case, you're safe word for me is cherries."

"And when would I be using it?"

"Whenever you feel I'm getting in too deep. I trust you to make good use of it and not to abuse your all time pass to reel me out of anything too dangerous."

And that earns me a kiss. I like this. I say something nice, I get a kiss. I could really get used to that.

"On to our first topic. Do you want to go back to the force? "

"I'm not sure I'm allowed to do so, but yes… I think I'd like that. Not only because it's all I ever done, but because I'm good at it. _We're_ good at it. We - you, me, the boys, Lanie – we make a great team, Castle. We do our damn best to give lots of families the answer they deserve. And maybe that's enough. To know that we can give others what I cannot have. Hopefully, that'll always be enough."

I don't hold back anymore. I want to hug the man sitting besides me, so I do. And it feels great to do so, openly, for everyone to see. We stay like this for a while. Just enjoying each other, lost in thoughts of what we just talked about. And it feels good. Really good.


	17. Hour 37

Thank you for the alerts, the favorites and the greats reviews. And thank you very much to my amazing beta caskett. vs. stanathan for taking the time to pre-read this during your exams!

Someone said they didn't know where I was going with the hours thing. We know season five will pick up in the morning after, but knowing Marlow and company, they'll get right into busyness. I wanted to think about what three days of just them would be like you know? So, that's where I'm going

Hope you enjoy!

Ps: they started shooting season 5 today…anyone else is dying to get some footage about it?

**Hour 37**

"I don't want to sound insensitive or anything like that but…I'm hungry." Kate says.

"And why would that be insensitive?" I ask.

"Because we're really comfortable and all and it's really nice to just be here. You know, in silence…just you know… maintaining basic human contact?"

"Well, yes. It is nice. But it'd get old really soon if one or both of us starves to death you know…"

"You do have a point…"

"I know I do. So… what is it going to be?"

"Do you really need to ask!"

"Food comfort truck! That way, we can choose more than one thing and share it!"

"Like love sick teenagers on their first date?"

"Yeah, something like that…" I stand up before pulling her up, too.

"I guess we could do that."

"C'mon! Keep up, I'm getting hungry!"

"You're always hungry these days…" She points out.

"As if you complained! Besides, we only had toast for breakfast. That's not even food."

"It is."

"It isn't."

"It is."

"It isn't."

"We're here. What do you want?"

"Uhm… how about a chicken cone, some fries, a house burger and a hotdog with a knife to split them?"

"Sounds good, but add some grilled cheese and it'd be perfect."

"Great. I'll get this and you'll get dessert ok?"

"Yep. I'll get us a spot under that tree over there"

"Actually, I'm really not good with trays. Could you maybe help me with the drinks?"

"Whatever we have to do to eat sooner rather than later."

"I like the way your mind works."

"That's why you love me right?"

"That's one of the many reasons why I love you."

"Guys? What can I get you?" The man at the food comfort truck asks us.

"Uhm, we'll have one grilled cheese, a hot dog, one of you famous burgers, a chicken cone and some fries." Kate answers.

"And two cokes. One diet, one normal." I add.

"Right away." The man says.

"Oh, look, the table I wanted is still free!" Kate says, pointing.

"Good! I wasn't too keen on eating under the sun."

We walk over to the table when we receive our food and sit down.

"Oh, this is really good. Here, have some." Kate offers, holding some food out in her hand. So, naturally, I take not only the food, but her fingers into my mouth. "Hey! No liking my fingers when we're in public." She exclaims, pulling her hand away from me.

"Oh, so we can kiss, hug, hold hands, but we can't lick?"

"No, not if you want for us to stay in public."

"Fair enough. But trust me, it won't always be like that."

"I won't always get a reaction from you if I use my tongue?" She teases.

"You won't always get to keep me in the open if you do that. I can barely control my need to jump you while holding hands in public. Fighting against that would require a strength I don't posses."

"Ok, I can relate to that. I feel the same way."

"So…would you like to have kids?"

"No smoothing it down? You know, like, how do you see yourself in a few years?"

If it wasn't for her tone I'd be forced to think I'd screwed up…"Ok, if that's easier, let's do it your way: how do you see yourself in a few years?"

"That's easy: I see myself with you." She answers quickly.

I guess so many years interviewing suspects gave her a master at dodging questions…"That still doesn't answer my original inquire. We've already agreed on the fact that we'll try to spend the rest of our lives together."

"And I love the idea of that. Now I don't like the `try´. We'll make it, committing to try to make this work is not good enough." Did she actually just say that? Oh my God! She turned into me! This is not good! Where's the challenge in that? But I'm not stupid enough to ruin the mood claiming it's not as easy as it sounds.

Believe me… I've tried this before, you know, the whole happily ever after thing. And even if today I can state for a fact that neither of my previous marriages meant me tying the knot with a woman I loved, I did try and it's no walk in the park… but for the sake of the conversation I'll play along with her: "Ok. We've already decided we'll live happily ever after. Will it always be just the two of us?"

"It'd never be the two of us. Alexis will always be a part of whatever family we form."

Yeah, ok, so maybe she'll make it a piece of cake. I feel the tears coming, but I keep them at bay. "Thank you, for feeling that. I mean, for thinking the three of us will make a good family."

"As long as she accepts it, I'm more than ready to embrace the idea of the three of us. But I know it won't be easy. I've messed up way too many times for Alexis to keep count, and I know you've raised an amazing daughter but I'm not naïve enough to think she'll willing to embrace the idea of us that easily."

She might have a point there, but I want to keep this light and focused in the two of us. Not because I don't love my daughter but because I don't really believe in worrying over something until I'm sure I have a reason to do so…"And can you embrace the idea of maybe the four, five, six or even the seven of us?"

"Uhm, five or six was good, seven is pushing it a bit."

"Six? You're willing to raise three kids with me?"

"I am. And you? Are you willing to go through diapers, and toddler's tantrums and teenage love three more times?"

"With you, I'll raise all the kids in the world."

"What is it with you and pushing it today?"

"I guess that being out here in the sun with you, holding you, talking about rising our children together makes me really, really happy."

"What about living arrangements?"

Ok, rocky field. But I'm feeling brave…"Uhm, I think the loft would be the smarter choice. How about you?"

"Well, it's big enough for now. But maybe in a few years we can talk about moving to a place with more bedrooms? I know I always wanted siblings, but the idea of loosing the freedom that came with a bedroom of my own was always a good reason not to push it too much…"

"I must admit I agree with you there. Though… no TV in their rooms. And we'll send them to the best school we can get them into. And by that I mean we'll look into public schools too."

"And we'll teach them to work for what they want. I've seen way too many people wasting their kids by raising them to believe they have it all."

"And we won't push them to be over achievers. As long as they do their best, it should be enough. But we won't settle for less than knowing they are giving their very best."

"But I want to marry you first. I don't care if it makes me an old prune lady, but I refuse to have kids before we marry."

"Sounds good to me."

"Great. But don't make me wait too long."

"Who said it's my decision to make?"

"I did. 48 hours ago. I told you I want for you to set the pace to our path."

"That's a dangerous territory, Beckett. You know that if it's up to me, I'll marry you in a heartbeat."

"Once again, you're really pushing it today. Lets agree to agree on marrying, rather sooner than later, but let's at least see how we manage to live, the four of us under the same roof before we set a date."

"Ok, but I refuse to let my mother living in the loft set the pace."

"So do I. Now, can we start walking again? All that food is making me groggy…"

"Couldn't agree more."

"Submission won't get you anywhere either!"

"And once again, duly noted. Can I say I love you without you ruling out as corny?"

"I love you too Castle. I love you too."


	18. Hour 38

Getting back to two chapters a week! Might even have something up this Sunday. As always, thanks to caskett. vs. stanathan for the beta!

Thanks for the reviews, I'm thinking about a way to include your ideas, but I have a lot mapped out, so don't hate me if you don't see them just yet!

**Hour 38**

I feel like all we've done this afternoon is talk. And there is a lot of truth in that statement. We've covered most of the important topics and it makes me feel free. "Thank you." I say to Castle, looking up into his eyes.

"For what?"

"For picking up the pieces that made me… well, me, and using them for making me better."

"In that case I should thank you, because for the past four years you've made ME a better person. From our very first case together, when you taught me to respect the victims and their families, you've made me a better man. And I'm so grateful for that. I know I'm not an easy person. I know most of the time I must seem like a five year old in a sugar rush. And maybe it's because I am. But you took pity on me, and you took the time to get to know me, to see beyond the playboy image I know I first showed you. You allowed me to stay by your side. And that makes me a happy man. The whole idea of you really knowing me, with all my flaws and silliness and still loving me is proof enough to make me scream to the world that I've met my better half. After some disastrous experiences in love, you've restored my faith in it. "

"That's not fair. I hate the fact that it's so easy for you to talk about your feelings. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you're good with words."

"I better be. I'm planning on feeding our children with that ability."

"Money is going to be a problem between us, won't it?"

"Not if you allow us to be modernly old fashioned."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll be the main supporter of the family, but you'll be a working mum while I'm a stay in the house dad. How does that sound?"

"Weird. And the truth is, I don't really see myself going out in the field much after becoming a mother."

"How about chief of the police department?"

"Uhm… that'd be too much pressure."

"How about Capitan? I can use my friendship with the mayor to get you back on the fast lane to that position."

"I'd like to earn that myself."

"Let's be honest Beckett. If it wasn't for my shadowing, you'd probably be there already."

"If having you as a partner means I won't get any farther than detective, it's fine by me Castle. I wasn't having any fun until you came along, and the Capitan new it. Montgomery told me so himself not long before the hangar. I guess it was his way of saying goodbye, while giving me one last big advice. I remember going to his office all mad and upset and asking him to ban you from the precinct. And he said "It's done", and a part of me was upset. I thought he was going to say that he couldn't remove you due to the pressure you could make in the mayor's office. And he said he could do it. That it was always his choice, but he had allowed you to stay because he saw that you made my life easier. And he was right. I'm not sure I could have stood all we've been through, the bombings, the freezer, the river, the shooter. Those things would have happened with or without you, and having you there, to pick up the pieces of me after them, with free drinks at the Old Haunt, poker nights with the Mayor, the DA and all your writer friends, dinners at Chez Castle or you claiming you could protect me while holding a wine bottle, waking up to pancakes and living with you guys after my flat exploded. Those are all things that made my life more bearable. And today, you don't only make my life a manageable one, but also a happy one."

"You're not so bad with words yourself. And don't worry. I know we won't agree with the fact that I believe I'm the one to blame for getting you in danger on most of those occasions, but I guess it's kind of pointless to argue about it…"

"Thank you. I'm way too content to actually give you a bigger reason that this: yes, maybe it was your need to know the answer that led us to the freezer or the bottom of the Hudson river, but without that need, I don't want to think about how many people would have died. Your ability to think outside the box kept millions of people alive, not just me."

"Is it selfish to admit that you, Alexis, my mother and the guys were the only people on my mind? Well, and your dad and Lanie. But that's about it…"

"I guess it's not… I have the same people in mind most of the time. Whenever I feel like giving up, I think about those people, and about making this city a safer one and I find the strength I need to go on."

"Even my mum and Alexis?"

"Especially them. I guess I've been seeing them as a part of my family for as long as I've had the need to protect you as my partner. I won't deny that during those first cases I saw you as a burden, but soon I realized you weren't that playboy man as much as you were an amazing dad and son. And with that realization came the care for your wellbeing. Besides, I was a fan way before I met you, and as a fan, I couldn't really let anything happen to you, now could I?"

"I guess you couldn't. I can't believe I met you all those years ago while signing your book and I forgot about you. What was I thinking? I should have asked you out right then!"

"I would have said no. I was with Will back then, and let's be honest, I would have been just a notch on your bedpost."

"I like to think I would have seen how good you were for me, even back then."

"Even if you had, who knows Castle? Maybe I would have screwed things up. Let's not think about what we cannot change. We have today, and today's so good. Why waist our time thinking about what we could have had, when what we have today is so amazing?"

I guess he likes my answer for he stops our walking and hugs me to himself. I love when he does that. It's comforting and heartwarming, you know? To just be held in the arms of the man I love is a welcomed change to the darkness that used to envelope me before the last 38 hours. "I'm ready for some dessert, you?"

"It's not legal to consume the dessert I'm hungry for in public…" He says, eyes darkening.

"Castle! Behave!"

"Kate, when have I've been known to behave?"

"Now is as good a time as any to start doing so!"

"You'd get bored too soon with me behaving."

"I don't think I could ever get bored with you…"

We start walking towards the ice-cream truck.

"So…going back to the money thing… how do you feel about being a kept woman?"

"Fifteen years ago, before my mother's murder, the most important thing to me was having a family like the one I had. I wanted to be a lawyer and work at the DA's office but I always saw myself as a mother first. The fact that you have enough money to allow me to do that is something good. I just hate that you have that much money. I don't want to be a kept wife, but how much will I need to make to avoid being one?"

"Kate, I'd love to keep you. Actually, as far as I'm concerned, I owe you at least a half of every penny I've made in the past four years. Without you, the Nikki Heat series wouldn't exist."

"But you'd have written something else. That's your money, and we both know it."

"Then marry me. If not for my personality, at least marry me for my money and then everything I own would be yours."

"I will marry you Castle. Not today, not tomorrow nor next week. And I need an income, at least until our first child arrives. I think we should at least be together for a year before we start planning for a kid. And I'll need an income, at least until then."

"Would you really give up the force when you become a mother?"

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully leave it, but I know what it's like to lose a mother. I couldn't force that fate to our kids Castle. So, unless I find a position within the force that is safer than homicide detective and less dull than tape listening, then yes, I would leave the force. Just... not yet. Though I still have to talk with the Captain…"

"Why don't we worry about all that after the Hamptons? Let's go have some Ice-Cream, then maybe we can go to your place and have you packed for the next couple of weeks?"

"Sounds good to me. But I'm buying dessert!"

"A deal is a deal Miss Beckett, and I'm a man of my word."

"That's good to know!"


	19. Hour 39, Ricks point of view

**Hour 39**

Ok, I know what I said, and the truth is, I really see myself as a man of my word. But our perfect afternoon in the park, jus the two of us talking and hanging out is interrupted in the worst possible way. At least, the worst possible way that can be pinpointed to me. Gina called. Yes, my ex-weife-soon-to-be-ex-editor-for-ruining-the-greatest-day-I've-had-in-maybe-10-years Gina called. Talk about bad timing. We were almost by the Ice-Cream truck when my phone rung. And rung again. And again. Eventually, Beckett got tired of it and, seeing who it was, forced me to pick up. You see, the main reason I didn't want to pick up was the fact that I knew why she was calling. The last draft of Frozen Heat was due last night, and as you might remember, I was otherwise preoccupied. Picking up meant going back to the loft to send the damn file to Gina. As luck would have it, it was actually done, but I wasn't ready to give up what Kate and I were sharing. But as I said, she bent my arm into picking up the phone.

"Gina, don't you know how to take a hint? If I'm not answering my phone it's because I'm not available."

"_But you see Ricky boy, I was married to you. I know how you work. You no being available might mean playing laser tag with Alexis, running around chasing Detective Beckett or just wasting your day doing a Star Wars Marathon, sword fighting with Alexis included."_

"Two of the things you just described included Alexis. And since we were actually married you know better than to call those occasions 'wasted time', Gina."

"_Oh trust me, I know your kid comes first, no matter what. Either way, I didn't call so we could have the same old fight. You owe me a book and I want it in my mail ASAP._"

"Well, ASAP as far as I'm concerned means tonight."

"_No Rick, it means now. I either get it in the next hour or I'm forcing you to all the book launch meetings I can think of. And trust me, they are plenty. The cover is being printed as we speak. We've already announced a launch date and we're not going to make it unless I send it to the printer house right now. One hour Rick. That's all you have before I start setting up meetings. And we both know how much you hate those._"

"Fine. You'll have it within the hour. But Gina? I don't want to hear from you until the summer is over. Do you copy me? I'll send it and you and Paula take care of everything. The press, the meetings, the planning. All of it."

"_When has it been any different? I know, summer at the Hamptons, you, Martha, Alexis and no one else. You have 59 minutes Mister Castle._" And with that, she hangs up.

"Argh! I hate that woman! She's the most maddening, frustrating person I've ever met."

"Good thing she's not remarkable and challenging, if not I'd be forced to think you're following a pattern with me and your ex-wife."

"Trust me Kate, you couldn't be more different from her."

"Give me three differences, and love can't be one of those." It's a good thing she can't keep the smile off her face, if not, I'd be forced to believe she's actually worried. "And only one of those can be a physical thing."

"Easiest challenge ever. First of all, you have a heart. You're both maddening and frustrating because you're driven. You set your mind on something and you don't stop until you get it. The difference? Her mind is set on the money, the next big books sale. You? You're driven by the answers. You work day in and night out because you want to give families the peace you never got for yourself." If her watery smile is any indication, difference one was as good an answer as you could get. "Secondly, you couldn't care less about my money. As long as I can provide you with fair amounts of coffee and some reading material, I think you'd stay by me through everything, while Gina only keeps me around 'cause she sees me as the hen that lays the golden eggs. As soon as I run out of those, I'm out her door." Once again, right answer Mister Castle, I think to myself. "And last but not least, your smile. The way your entire face lights up when you smile at me, either because I bring you coffee or because I say some wild theory or because you've just rescued me from a bank robbery, you have this smile that tells me we can overcome everything and anything. And I love you all the more for it. And Gina has so much Botox that she probably wouldn't be able to give an honest smile to save herself…"

"Good answers Castle." And to prove that statement, she leans in and gives me a lingering kiss. I could stay like this forever. Kissing her and, yeah, you get the point right?

"And of course, there is your amazing-I-want-to-eat-you-up-should-be-illegal-to-flaunt-it body."

"And then you go and say something like that. And just for that comment mister smartass, you don't get to come with me to my apartment. You go to the loft, send Gina the file and do whatever you feel like doing while I get packed. Once I'm done, I'll meet you back at the loft."

"That's not fair! I gave you three good answers! And that was all you asked for! The fourth was just a proof that three differences to explain why I love you and why you're so much better than my ex-wife aren't enough. "

"You can complain all you want, but you're still not coming with me and I'm not going with you. Besides, we've been attached at the hip for the past 38 hours, I think we could use a few hours apart."

"A few? One hour, that's all I got from Gina, that's all I'm giving you. If you're not back in the loft before the hour is over I'm sending a search team after you."

"Don't worry Castle, I'll be back as soon as I'm done. Now go and give Gina what she wants so we can go back to being just the two of us."

"Ok. See you in less than an hour. Love you."

"I love you too." She gives me a peck on the lips and we each hail a cab to go two our respective homes. I can't wait for the moment when going home means the loft for the two of us.

As soon as I get home I turn the computer on and just as I'm about to send the file to Gina I remember the dedication. Written in anger after finding out about her lie, it just doesn't seem right anymore. I open the file and deleting the old one ("Thanks to all my friends at the 12th, it's been an honor working with you.") I stare at the blank page. I want to scream to the world that the 'Extraordinary KB' is even more extraordinary now.

"_To the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I've ever met. Thank you for making my life an extraordinary one._

_And to my daughter, who taught me that change is inevitable, but that as long as we have a north star, those small clear voices in our heart that will be with us no matter what, it's OK._

_It will always be OK._"

Yep, that's more like it. I save the file and attach it to an e-mail addressed to Gina that only says: "Three months. Oh, and send me an advance copy on Monday to the Hamptons, if not, forget about any book tours".

I consider what to do next. I could browse the internet, but I don't really have any research to do. I just want Kate to get here. Like, right now.

I consider going to her apartment to help her pack, but I'm not sure she'd appreciate that. I guess the fastest way to get time going is taking a nap, so after turning off the computer, I head to bed. I shed my clothes and put some PJ pants on before I lay down in bed. But I can't sleep. I toss and turn, but no position is comfortable enough. I decide to forgo the nap and head to the living room couch. This way, I can watch TV and see Beckett the minute she gets home.


	20. Hour 39 Kates point of view

As usual, thanks for sticking with the story, it makes my smile to know there's still people out there reading this! And to my beta, caskett. vs .stanathan, THANK YOU.

This is the last half of hour 39 from Kate's point of view.

_**KB**_

Ok, I know the whole being apart for an hour was my idea, but I guess I didn't predict I'd feel like this. If I didn't know better I'd say I'm having some separation anxiety… I decide not to let it worry me and make something useful out of our time apart. I call Lanie.

"_Writer boy better be treating you right!_"

I can't avoid teasing her a little… "If you only knew Lanie! If you only knew!"

"_You better give me some details of what you_'_ve been up too or I_'_m going over there right now! All I know is that you spent the night before last together._"

"And last night too. And every second of the last two days. This is the first time we're not together since I knocked on his door…"

"_Oh Kate! I'm so glad for you! We all knew this was coming, I just wish you hadn't kept him waiting this long…"_

"You know I wasn't ready before Lanie! Besides… why regret the past when we have now…"

"_Ok, if you say so… So my friend… how was it?"_

"How was what?"

"_You know what I'm talking about girl and you better spill right now!"_

"Oh, you mean that? It was amazing Lanie! Definitely the greatest I've ever had. He was so patient and mindful of my feelings you know? And the noises he made Lanie. They were such a turn on, you know? Not for one minute did I think it would feel that good. To simply have his arms around me, sleeping soundly and snoring into my ear was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had!"

"_Kate Beckett that is not funny and you know it!"_

"But Lanie, it's the truth! That's all we did for the past two nights!"

"_What? Is there something wrong with his mind! I knew he wasn't man enough for you! What did you do? Scare him to death?"_

"Yeah… with the bruises I'm sporting! You seem to have forgotten I almost fell off a roof not two days ago Lanie! And trust me, your body gets quite banged up when you're hanging eleven floors up."

"_Oh my God Kate! I didn't know you were that hurt! Did you get checked out? Do you need something for the pain? I can be there in 20 minutes! Just say so and I'll be there!"_

"No Lanie! I'm fine! I took something for the pain yesterday morning and again today, but I'm thinking about taking another one now. I do feel sore everywhere but nothing hurts more than it should after a bar fight you know?"

"_The difference being that it wasn't just a bar fight Beckett! He was a trained killer! Girl you know better than to go home after such a fight!"_

"If it makes you feel better, I didn't go home! And Castle's been petting me for the past forty hours. Trust me Lanie, I'm getting taken care of."

"_It's good to know you finally allowed him to do so Kate. He was dying to do it last summer. He just kept sporting this sad, abandoned puppy look whenever he came to the morgue to ask if I knew something from you…It was heart breaking…"_

"I know Lanie… but we've talked about it. And I think we can finally get past that… I just need to work on getting used to being pampered. That's something new to me and we both know it…"

"_I do, but that man loves you senseless, and if you hurt him, I bet I can get the boys to help me hurt you! He slowly became a part of our lives, and we all see him as a friend, too girl, so you better not hurt him! Do you hear me!"_

"Hey! You're supposed to be MY friend Lanie!"

"_And I am! That's why I'm giving you a warning! You deserve to know we_'_ll hurt you, just as we'd hurt him if he doesn't treat you right! Got that?"_

"Yeah. I got that. And Lanie? Thank you."

"_For what?"_

"For caring about the both of us… He's the first man I've cared for enough to care about your opinion about. And to know that you love him enough to hurt me if I fuck this up, is comforting, in a twisted way, but comforting none the less."

"_Glad you see it that way. So… why did you leave his side? Tired of him already?"_

"I thought I was, but was I wrong…We've spent the past 40 hours together, and I thought it'd be smart to give myself some space you know? I know I love him and all, but this whole spending this much time with someone is kind of new to me and I really don't want to screw up. So, we were at the park and Gina called about an e-mail, so I told him we should split up so I could go to my place, get some clothes and that I'd meet him at the loft. But not two minutes into the cab drive I knew what a mistake that was. I just… I wasn't ready to part ways yet, you know?"

"_So you just called me to stop missing him?"_

"What? No! I've been wanting to call you but, you know… the last time we spoke you preferred to talk to him!"

"_Hey! You're the one who handed him the phone!"_

"He's bigger and stronger than me and I was hurt! I didn't have much of a choice!"

"_Whatever you say girl… I'm just glad you're ok. And that you finally let your walls down. You deserve to be happy. You've been a mama bear for this team for years. Let us take care of you for a change…"_

"I think I will Lanie. I'm ready for it. I'm just so tired of hiding. It's just, for so long I've had to pretend to be this strong woman, living in a man's word, with such a burden to carry, that I eventually forgot what it felt like to be taken care of..."

"_I know, and trust me, I get you. I had to pretend to be strong too, you know? Forensics is not a woman's field either. Actually, I think that Dana Scully was the first female forensic ever, and she's not even real, so, trust me, I know all about earning respect living in a man's word. But that excuse won't cut it anymore. You've let your walls down and we won't allow you to rebuild them, unless it's with us inside. We're a team, Kate. A family. And we're here for you. It's good to know Castle knocked enough bricks down to allow you to see that."_

"Thanks Lanie. Now… can we maybe keep this conversation for another day? I want to get a bag ready and head to Castle's…I don't really trust him to be alone after the past couple of days…"

"_That's fine girl. I actually have to let you go too, there's someone at my door…"_

"Anyone I should know about?"

"_I'm pretty sure it's someone you know…"_

"Oh my god! You and Javi are back together?"

"_We're working things out…He was a wreck the other night, and I couldn't just turn my back on him, you know."_

"I'm happy for you guys. You ARE prefect for each other, even if you deny it"

"_Hello? Pot, meet the kettle…!"_

"I know! I'm just saying… So, dinner tomorrow? Tell Espo you're expected to be at the loft, around 8!"

"_Sounds great to me. See you then girl."_

"Bye Lanie. And, thanks. It's good to have you as a friend…"

"_You bet it is! Now, bye!"_

And with that, she hangs up. While I pack my bag I realize just how true my words to Lanie were. I really am thankful to have them as friends. And to know they care about Castle is comforting.

I pack a few things, but it's all summer wear, so it's not heavy. Some shorts and T-shirts, underwear –some that are comfy and some that are sexy – a few swimsuits (I'll have to try them on before we leave, it's been a while since I used any of them), flip flops and a few nicer outfits in case we go out to dinner. I figure I could buy something once we get to the Hamptons if needed. I bet Castle would love that!

Once everything is packed, I leave my apartment without a second glance. I have the feeling I won't be coming back in a while, so I made sure there was nothing left in the fridge, took the garbage out and used my three keys to lock the door. Bye-bye flat, loft here I come!


	21. Hour 40

Ok, I'm a bit behind schedule cause I've been playing with these characters at the Ology, Best Crime Show contest! Feel free to visit it, we can use all the Fans we get! ology/1765/castle should be the link to it!

As always, thanks to my beta caskett. Vs .stanathan (I'll be sending you some things tonight), and thanks to you, for keep on reading this story. Feel free to review, but be warned: reviews, alerts and favorites, make me happy thus make me write more !

**Hour 40**

I guess I must have fallen asleep after all, for the next thing I know, Beckett is crouched next to me on the couch.

"Hey. When did you get here?" I mumble sleepily.

"About 10 minutes ago." She looks down at me with a disapproving glare and says: "What are you doing here? You have the most comfortable bed in the world and yet you decide to nap here?"

"Hey my couch is comfortable too! Besides, I couldn't sleep."

"Didn't seem that way to me…"

"Well, yeah, I couldn't sleep while I was in the bed!"

"And why on earth not?"

I' m embarrassed about this, so, in the smallest voice I can muster I say "Because it smells like you…"

"What? I didn't quite catch that."

Oh but I beg to differ. Her smile tells me she heard every word of it. But I give in. Her smile is mesmerizing and I seem to be in some sort of trance over it.

"My bed smells like you!"

"And that is a bad thing?"

"It is when you're not in it! I smell the cherries and that amazing smell that is all you and I just miss you. I tried holding your pillow, but it's not the same. It's cold and impersonal, while your body is warm and oh so alive…"

"Tell you what. Why don't we go to your bedroom, find me something more comfortable to wear and we both try to sleep? I took a pain killer on my way here and I'm already feeling its effect."

"Oh my God, Kate! I completely forgot about your bruises and I made you walk in the park for half the day!"

"You didn't force me to do it, Castle! It was actually my idea. It felt good to be outside, and it felt great to be with you, holding hands, hugging under the trees. Please, don't make me regret admitting to being tired now, after the amazing day we've had so far."

"Fine. But I still don't like the fact that I forgot about your bruises!"

"I do. It means you were more preoccupied with us and our future than with the last mistake I made. I've told you already I'm not proud of those bruises, and knowing that you forgot about them makes me feel good with myself. Now chop, chop! Get up so we can both get some rest."

"Can I kiss you until we fall asleep?"

"You don't ever need to ask if you can kiss me. As long as you don't go around kissing me in front of Iron Gates, feel free to kiss me whenever and wherever you wish to do so. Well, besides a murder scene. Those are off the table too. And if I were you, I'd refrain from kissing me too much in front of my dad…and Lanie won't let it go if we go around kissing. And the boys might threaten you…"

You know what? I'm tired of this. I just kiss her to prove her point. I can kiss her whenever I want? Well, I want to do it now. And I do so. Thoroughly.

"Hey! I wasn't done yet!"

"If I'd let you continue, you would have restrained the kissing to my bedroom!"

"Shut up and take me to bed."

"As you wish!"

I stand up and putting an arm behind her knees and another at her back, I pick her up. I was sure she was going to protest but she just holds me around the neck and kisses me on the cheek. "Don't get used to it. I won't always allow you to do this."

"I'll take what I'm given when it's given to me. And as I've told you before, I'll find a way to get you to allow me to take care of you to the full extent of my ability."

"Whatever you say writer boy! Now please put me down so I can change."

"Ok, but you have to remain topless."

"Says who?"

"Says me. If I'm not wearing a shirt, it's only fair that neither should you."

"Or you could put one on."

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because my bruises are even worse now than they were this morning. And I just don't want to see your eyes looking as sad as they did then. So, unless you've suddenly learned how to school your features into hiding your sorrow, then I really don't want to be topless right now. But I do love the feeling of your chest to my face..."

"I feel like I should complain about it, but I'll let it slide just this once. I've been offered the great opportunity to have your face nestled on my chest, and I won't jeopardize that. So, what do you want to borrow? A button down or a regular t-shirt"

"Actually, I brought my own stash of bed clothes…"

"Is there anything you think I'd enjoy in particular?"

"Actually, I think there is, but you're not ready for that, stud. At least, I know I'm not. So if it's fine by you, I'll wear one of my t-shirts, a pair of your incredibly soft silk boxers and change in the bathroom while you start making some space for my clothes in your closet."

I do as I'm told, and I can't say I'm disappointed when she comes out. Seeing her in a ratty old Stanford T-shirt (seriously, how old is that thing? 14 years or so!) and my boxers and doing nothing about it is as hard as seeing her half naked and doing nothing about it. Because you'll see, there is something incredibly arousing about seeing her that comfortable in front of me. We've actually done nothing big yet and she's already foregoing the lace for the baggy t-shirt. She's that sure of herself. Of us. "I love the wardrobe choice, Beckett."

"Really? I thought you'd say something about it being less sexy than me in one of your shirts."

"First of all, sexiness is a quality you bring to anything you wear. As far as I'm concerned, you could wear a garbage bag and you'd still manage to turn my head. And secondly, I was just thinking that the level of comfort we've developed in two days is extremely arousing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're sexy as hell in lace and I'm dying to see you wearing something that's meant for my eyes only, but having you in my bed, getting ready to take a nap in the middle of the day, wearing a t-shirt that is almost as old as my daughter is an arousing fact in itself."

"How about a little less conversation and a little more action Castle? Come to bed so you can kiss me to sleep."

"I thought you wanted for me to make you some room in my closet?"

"I wanted for you to start doing that while I got ready, not while I sleep. What makes you think I could sleep surrounded by your smell but without your warmth next to me? I'm not the only one who left an imprint on this bed. Actually, I think that I can even smell you in the mattress, regardless of the sheets we've been sharing for the last couples of nights…"

I don't need to be told twice. I leave my clothes were I found them and go straight to bed. She comes to me immediately, and she has her arms around me almost before I'm fully lying on the bed. And before I know what's going on, she's straddling me, her tongue down my throat. Her hands holding mine over my head. I want to bring them down and run them all over her body, but she won't let me.

"You said you wanted to kiss me to sleep. No one said anything about touching. Besides, I won't ever fall asleep if you start running those hand all over me."

"But Kate! I need to touch you! I need to feel you."

"And I need to sleep. I'm getting less responsive by the minute. I took one of the pain pills I had left from, you know, after the whole bullet to the heart odyssey and it's really knocking me out." And she's right, she's getting less responsive by the minute, because before I get the chance to actually fight again to get my hands free, she loosens her hold on them and I'm free to move them around. But we're both kind of ready to nap and I'm not stupid enough to start something we won't finish. As I'm placing my hands on a safe spot on her back I realize that maybe she's given me my hands back with an ulterior motive: suddenly her hands are in my ears. I guess it's kind of an automatic response, but I can't stop the need to, just in case, cover my nose, awkwardly breaking the kiss in the meantime and eliciting an amazing yelp from Beckett. "My God Castle! What were you thinking!"

"You had your hands in my ears! I was just trying to protect my nose! We both know you can twitch them evilly!"

"First of all, how on earth would I twitch three of your body parts with only two hands. And if you think I'm going to bite your nose you're truly mistaken. Secondly, if you really thought I was going to cause you bodily harm, then I was doing something incredibly wrong…" Suddenly she looks unsure of herself. How could she possibly doubt her ability to turn me on?

"What? No! You were doing some really amazing things with your mouth there Beckett! It's just that you let go of my hands after stating that you wouldn't and you suddenly had yours over my ears. I kind of had a reason to worry about it, you know… you've abused them often enough the past four years…"

"Well, you'll be happy to know that the abusive times are over. Trust me, if I ever need to bodily harm you, you'll be enjoying it as much as I."

"Can't wait for that Miss Beckett." I guess she must see something mischievous in my eyes, for she simply rolls over and gets off of me.

"Hey! I wasn't done kissing you!"

"I know that look Castle. You're planning something, and I'm not going to keep on kissing you knowing that you're probably going to get me all worked up and then just start snoring or something. So, after your little display of mistrust, I suggest you get your arms around me and dutifully try to sleep if you want my forgiveness."

"But Kate! I want to keep kissing you!"

"You have to earn that right!"

"Is that a challenge Miss Beckett?"

"It is, but you're gonna have to postpone proving you can manage Rick. I really am tired… So could we maybe, just, you know, cuddle for an hour or so?"

"Yeah, we can do that. But trust me, that's a challenge I'm intending to win."

"I wouldn't expect any less from you! Now shush, I'm trying to sleep!"


	22. The last minutes of hour 41

Thanks for the reviews, the alerts and the beta! Hope you enjoy, and you´re more than welcomed to leave me a note (smiley face!)

**The last minutes of hour 41 **

Ok, so challenging Castle to earn the right to kiss me might have been my greatest idea so far… waking up with his arms around me today was great, but waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and homemade cookies is definitely my third favorite way to wake up. I'm quite sure waking up to him kissing me will be the greatest way to wake up, that's why, even if it hasn't happened yet, heavenly smelling things is only third. Though it comes really close to slowly coming back to feeling his arms around me.

"Hey there sleepy head. Welcome back to the land of the living."

"Haha. Ok, I was just thinking how nice it is to wake up to things that smell amazing, but to realize that your creepy staring was probably the reason why I woke up in the first place evokes all sorts of different feelings, most of them not really good ones…just so you know…"

"Oh now Kate! We both know you've come to love my creepy staring, why lie about it?"

"I might have grown into it, but claiming I love it is pushing it a bit. Besides, the really creepy thing is the fact that you can actually summon me from my sleep just by staring creepily at me."

"Let's agree to disagree on the fact that I find that comforting."

"Ok, whatever. So… are you actually going to feed me those delicious smelling cookies or they are just a cover up to burning down the house or something?"

"I am actually going to feed you some cookies. And some coffee. And anything else you might want or need…"

"Whatever to get the right to keep kissing me?"

"Something like that… Although, you did say today that if I wanted to kiss you all I had to do was to actually do so, so this whole challenge should be illegal or something…"

"Yeah? Who you gonna call to file the complaint? Bob-my-personal-friend-the-mayor?"

"No, but I could call your dad and ask for some advice to get you all mushy and friendly again… I bet he'd be more than willing to share some dirty little secret from your darker-teenager years in the meantime…"

"Not winning any extra points here Castle…Bring me some of those cookies if you want to actually do some kissing at all before the day is over!"

"And what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to stay in bed and allow you to take care of me…wasn't that what you wanted to do in the first place?" That shuts him up, subsequently sending him to what I assume is the kitchen to fetch me some cookies. My whole body is doing a happy dance with anticipation. I'm suddenly starving and the whole idea of eating homemade cookies that Castle cooked for us is suddenly a good reason to get excited. I mean, who wouldn't! I woke up to the smell of something Richard Castle, mystery writer extraordinaire, made for me. I know I should be over the whole I've met my favorite author and he once gave me an advance copy of his next book thing, but I guess I'm childish. Really, how many people actually get that lucky? When he signed my copy of one of his books all those years ago I felt so important. And when I arrested him the first time I felt disappointed. Now? Now I feel honored to know he based three books on me. _Don't you ever tell him that!_I feel cherished, and respected and loved. And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

_Oh my God Kate! Are you even listening to what you're saying? You, who's been an independent woman for the past 15 years suddenly sees herself as some man's girl?_

Yes I do! But don't you dare tell him that, Inner Voice!

_Oh, really mature! Talking to your Inner Voice and forbidding her to tell the truth about the fact that you, too, can be a nine year old from time to time!_

Sure, fine, whatever! I'm a nine year old sometimes! But that doesn't mean I'll allow her to come out and play in public! That's for me to know and, in the worst case scenario, for him to find out.

_You do realize he'd love that right? The whole playful side of Kate Beckett would pretty much make some of his greatest fantasies come true…_

That still doesn't mean I have to tell him about the existence of such side…

_No, you don't have to TELL him about it… You could always just SHOW him…_

And what do you suggest we do?

"KATE!" His voice yells.

"What, Castle? Are you trying to give me a heart attack!"

"No, but I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes! What were you thinking about?"

"Sorry, can't tell…"

"Then sorry, can't share…"

"Then sorry, you won't get no kiss today!"

"Ok, ok, you win. Here are your cookies and here is your coffee. Am I allowed to keep you company?"

"Don't pretend to be all doubtful about it! You keeping me company is the fastest way, at least today, to get something from me!"

"Is that so Miss Beckett?"

"Yes it is Mr Castle. So what do you say? Would you like to climb into this wonderfully soft bed with me and share some coffee and cookies my boyfriend just got off the oven?"

"Oh he did, didn't he?"

"Yep… you see, his thoughtful like that. Always thinking of ways to keep me happy."

"Does he? Make you happy I mean?"

"He makes me the happiest girl in town. We share this beautiful relationship. It took us years to get to where we're now, but I wouldn't change a thing of our shared life's together. Which makes me wonder why am I inviting you to his bed…"

"Maybe because I remind you of him?"

"Can't really say I see how you could… I mean, he's well mannered, patient, extremely good with words and he's so ruggedly handsome that sometimes I need to get my claws out to keep the girls off of him."

"If you get jealous over mindless blond bimbos then your relationship mustn't be as steady as you claim it to be…"

"Oh trust me Mr. Castle. It is. You see, he's my one and done, and we both know it."

"Really? Are you getting married? Has he proposed to you?"

"No, not yet. He knows I'm not ready, and he understands, but he will, someday."

"He sound like a really good catch. Maybe I should meet him…"

"Maybe you should…"He's looking at me with what can only be described as a predatory look. That only seems fair, since I want to ravish him right know too. I guess role playing is something we'll have to explore in the near future…Though I'm sure that being just us would be enough for quite some time. Four years of foreplay can do that to a relationship I guess… "Not that I'm complaining, because trust me, I'm not, but I could really use some down time with him right now, so maybe you should make yourself invisible? I don't want to have to explain this to him…" And with that, he carefully sets the tray he was caring over the bedside table and leans down to kiss me. It's almost as if he was worried anything of what I just said could ever be true. So, once he lets go of my mouth, I make sure he's looking right into my soul and I state: "I love you. Only you and for who you are. For the way you're with Alexis, your mother, the guys, my dad and me. But above everything, I love the person I AM when I'm with you. So trust me Castle, none of it could ever be true. You're stuck with me forever partner, so don't you ever worry."

"It goes both ways Kate." He gives me a tender peck on the lips as if to seal a promise. "So… would you like some cookies?"

"Sound good to me. But wait, don't sit just yet… how about some Monopoly with our afternoon snack?"


	23. Hour 42

Thank you so much for everyone who read, reviewed, added me as an alert, etc. You're awesome and I'm flattered. And thanks to caskett. vs .stanathan fot her amazing beta!

**Hour 42**

"_It goes both ways Kate." He gives me a tender peck on the lips as if to seal a promise. "So… would you like some cookies?"_

"_Sound good to me. But wait, don't sit just yet… how about some Monopoly with our afternoon snack?"_

"Beckett, are you sure you're alright? You're talking to the unbeatable champion of that game!"

"Bring it on! Oh and the looser makes dinner."

"Hey! That's not fair! I made the cookies!"

"Are you saying you're going to give up your crown that quickly? I knew I held some power over your self-esteem, but I never realized it was that much!"

"What! No, there's no way I'm giving up without a fight!" And with that said, he disappears back into his office and comes back a few minutes later, Monopoly, Deluxe Edition in hand.

"Castle! You have to share this recipe with me! These are amazing cookies!"

"But if I share the recipe with you, how do I know you'll keep coming back? We both know you're here for the food…"

"Nope… I'm here for the bed-sheets! They are the softest fabric I've ever touched."

"Softest fabric? Not thing?"

"I do think the skin behind your knees and your inside elbows is really, really soft…"

"Miss Beckett! An elbow fetishist? Who knew…"

As it was expected, the game was full of banter and innuendo. The more time we spent just bickering, the more distracted Castle gets, which obviously, is good for me. We all know women are better than men at thinking about more than one thing at the same time. Add a woman being fully seductive and you get the vestiges of a thinking man that can barely realize that he needs to buy hotels if he wants to beat me at this game. It might be considered cheating, but let's be honest, he's loving every minute of it and he is the better cook between us.

Our game is interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. For a minute there he considers not even checking the caller ID but I remind him that it could be Alexis. After all, he hasn't contacted neither her nor his mother since they left for the Hamptons the day before. As it turns out, it was her.

"Hey Pumpkin! How are you doing? Is everything OK over there?"

I don't get to listen to the other side of the conversation, but seeing Castle's face, I can assume everything is going just fine.

"We said we'd be there the day after tomorrow." Alexis must be unsure. "Yes! We will be there! We both said we'd go, and we're going. There's nothing that could keep us from going." He's not doing his greatest job. "No Alexis. Kate is not on call, we won't get a case! Don't you remember? She told you guys she quit her job. She's no longer in the force, at least, not yet. Yes honey, there's a chance she'll go back, but not before the summer is over, and even if she wanted to go back today, she can't. Both her and Espo are suspended for the next couple of weeks so there'll be no reason for us not coming. I promise. Unless the world ends, we'll be there, probably for a late lunch. What? Yes, she's here with me. Why? You don't trust me? Since when don't you trust your old man? Then why do you want to talk to her? Fine. Yes. I'm handing her the phone."

Ok, now I'm worried. "Hey Alexis. How are you?"

"_Kate, you know I love you. But you must know that after last summer I find the whole trusting you blindly a bit hard to do. That's why I really need to know. Will you guys really get here? 'Cause if you're not coming, then I want to go back to the city. I know you guys want to spend a few days on your own, and I love the fact that you're trying to spend some quality time with my dad. But it's my last summer before college and the truth is, I'm not really used to sharing him." I so had reasons to be scared. What am I going to say to this?_

"Alexis, there's nothing to share. You're dad adores you, and as we both well know, he wouldn't be able to spend more than a few days without seeing you. We ARE coming to the Hamptons, and if you want, I can actually send him alone. Before anything, he's your dad. So I'd completely understand if you guys want him all for yourselves…"

"_So what? You're backing away?"_

"No Alexis. I'm trying to give you what I think you want!"

"_We want the both of you here. Det- Kate, I know I said I'm not use to sharing him, but I want to learn to do that, with you. I might have my doubts, but my dad claims you make him happy. I want to have a firsthand experience of that. Can you give me that?"_

"Yeah Alexis. I can. And for what is worth, he makes me beyond happy."

"_I'm glad. Everyone seems to believe you deserve to be happy Kate. And so do I. I just want to make sure you won't hurt my dad in the process."_

"I know it's not enough, but I'll do my very best to make him as happy as I can. He's my one and done Alexis, and I'm not willing to risk that. Not anymore."

"_Good. So, we'll see you this Friday. Oh, and Kate? You better have a way of distracting him, cause he's really good at coming back from__bankruptcy!"_

"How did you know?"

"_I can hear him shuffling with the bills and the buildings!"_

"Castle! No cheating!"

"_Bye Kate!"_ And with that she hangs up.

"Oh, you better put everything back, because if you don't, you won't only have to cook tonight, you'll also have to do the cleaning!"

"Oh yeah? And what do you call that seducing game you were doing?"

"Your inability to focus while being seduced by your partner is not cheating! Using the attack your daughter threw my way to steal money from the bank and placing buildings you didn't have, is!"

"You snooze you loose!"

"You cheat I'll tease."

"And I'll enjoy every moment of it. Wait, what do you mean the attack my daughter threw your way?"

"Rick, we all knew she was going to have trouble accepting me as your, uhm, girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend. That sounds so juvenile…"

"Because it is. But, please, focus. It can't be news to you that Alexis doesn't really trust me…"

"She's going to have to work on that Kate. I know we've given her reason to distrust you. But it's my fault as much as it's yours. She blames you for stringing me along and putting me in dangerous situations, but let's be honest, you wouldn't have been able to keep me away from the precinct even if you really tried. And these past weeks, my behavior wasn't that of a man in love. On the contrary, I flew out to Vegas and dated a blond bimbo because I was mad at you. That was my mistake. That was me telling my daughter that you weren't good enough…"

"And you were right. I'm not good enough. But I want to be. I really want to be."

"You are Kate. You're so much more than good enough. We simply need to be good enough at the same time…Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does. I love you Castle. So, so much…"

"Good, cause I love you too. Now, we're going to need to work about how to behave around my daughter…"

"I think she should see us happy, but we shouldn't be all over each other when we're with her. We want her to know we're in sync, but there's no need to show off you know?"

"Yeah, I do. Now…shall we finish our game?"

"No. I don't trust you with it anymore."

"Then what shall we do?"

"Come here and find out…" And I kiss him. I kiss him as if there was no tomorrow. Lips and tongues and hands are involved. He lies over me on the bed and his weight feels so right it's distracting.

"We're going to be so good…"

"I know…maybe tomorrow?" I can live with the bruises, but he deserves my very best and the soreness I feel today will come between us.

"Yeah, tomorrow. But can I keep kissing you right now?" He kisses the tip of my nose "It" my forehead "feels" right eye "so" left one "good" right cheek, and he simply keeps going.

When the man you love is covering your face and neck with butterfly kisses you don't really need to tell him that yes, he can keep kissing you, right?


	24. Hour 43

Thanks for reading, reviewing and betaing. Hope you enjoy!

**Hour 43**

"Would you think any less of me if I told you I'm hungry again?" I ask sheepishly.

"Not really, no. Although, if I didn't know better, I'd suspect you were pregnant!"

"Well, I blame you for my hungriness, just as I'd blame you if I were hungry as a result of me being pregnant."

"I can't wait for that to happen!"

"Down boy! We've been over this already. First moving in, then engagement, then wedding, then kids. No jumping ahead of schedule!"

"But I can still fantasize with you carrying my child?"

"Really? The idea of me fat, walking around like the ugly duck, with my ankles swollen is a turn on?"

"No, the idea of you carrying a little human being that is part you, part me and a part that belongs entirely to him is one of my dearest fantasies…"

"Him? Would you mind if our first child was a girl?"

"I'd take whatever we get Kate, but I refuse to call a possible child of mine an 'it'. And truth be told? I'd love to have a little boy running around to level the field you know? Between you, my mother and Alexis I'm pretty sure I'm doomed. Add another little girl, to have me all wrapped around her little finger and I might as well just accept defeat…"

"And what if our first three kids are girls?"

"Then we'd have to keep trying until we got a boy. I'm not stopping until we get a little Castle running around!"

"Oh, I can see how that'd turn out! I can definitely picture a little you running around the house half naked, smiling mercilessly, trying to avoid your potty training!"

"Hey! I did just fine with Alexis!"

"Yeah Castle! But I bet potty training a girl is much easier than potty training a boy!"

"Maybe… but then again, why would it be only my problem? I thought you were going to be a full time mum!"

"No. I said I wasn't going to be a full time homicide detective. I never said I was going to turn into a kept woman, interested in shopping and spa days while her husband potty trained their kids." I can't keep my poker face on: his pout is just too much. "Oh, really Castle! Do you really see me turning into a Real House Wife! After all we've been through together?"

"Yeah, no, I know." He's looking all wounded puppy like at me so I do what I recently found works best for distracting him: I lean in and kiss him. But it seems it's not enough. It's the first time he's not in it. Ok, if the passion is over after two days, regardless of the promise of lots of sex to come, then we're in trouble.

"Castle, what's wrong? It's not like you to not kiss me back…Should I be worried about the lack of passion from your side? Did the image of me being fat and walking like a duck scare you that much?"

"What? No! God no, Kate! There's no such thing as an image of you that could possibly turn me off!"

"Then what is it Castle? Did you ever have that feeling that the person you're sharing your time isn't really there with you? 'Cause I'm getting that vibe from you right now. Talk Castle! What's going on that beautiful mind of yours?"

"It's nothing Beckett, really. Don't worry about it."

"If it has you all worked up it has to be something!"

"Please Kate, it's nothing."

"That's not fair Castle! I've done nothing but open up to you these past few days, and I think I deserve the same from you! This whole silent treatment is not acceptable. Something has you all worked up, Rick, and I want to know what it is. Tit for tat, remember?" But he's not convinced. I' m not liking it. Not at all…"Was it the Real House Wife comment? Because really, I'm not that shallow! You know that, you must know that…"

"No, Kate! I know you're not that shallow! Even if you were, I'd still love you…Really, it's not important. I don't even know why it got me all worked up."

"Whatever the reason, if it's important enough to keep your mind away from here – here being you and me in your bed, hair tousled and lips reddened from all the kissing – it must be something important…"

"Can you promise not to freak out until I'm done explaining?"

"Yeah, I can do that…"

After a sigh he relents. "I'm afraid I'm going to fuck this up!"

"What? How? Why? What did you do?"

"No, it's not something I did, it's just… my track record with long term relationships isn't the best one…"

"And as far as I'm concerned, that's a good thing… I'm no home wrecker Castle…"

"No, I know, it's just that the whole House Wife comment got me thinking. I had two of those, and all the money in the world wasn't enough for them. And since you're not after my money, how do I know I'm good enough for you Beckett? Gina and Meredith had really low standards as to what I was supposed to give them, and I wasn't able to keep them happy enough."

"And that's the main difference between them and me Castle. I have really high standards of what I expect from you…I will constantly expect for you to keep me happy without using your money, because you see, I'm not a Stepford Wife. I'm looking for a charming man, who's willing to stand by my side no matter what, with or without money. I want someone who challenges me, who makes me want to be a better person, who MAKES me a better person. I need a sweet guy, who's smart enough to know when I need a five year old on a sugar rush to make me laugh and when I need the brilliant, bestselling author to say something clever to get me out of trouble. I need a man strong enough to keep me out of trouble but tender enough to just hold me after the storm." I use all my womanly powers to get his attention. I lean over him and move around until I'm straddling him and look right into his eyes and say: "Can you be that man Castle? Can you be the rock I need you to be so I can lean on you? And more importantly, can you let me be yours?"

"I'd like to be. Yeah." When I kiss him this time he's definitely more focused. He uses both his hands to roam freely around my back and pulls his legs up to bring me closer. This is getting really dangerous really soon. It's really good to know we're so in tune with each other that he actually senses my need to stop. And I love him all the more for that. "Ok, I'm bringing you some pain medication, and then I want you to choose a place in this loft you find comfortable to waste your time while I get dinner ready. There's no way in hell I'm not ravishing your body tomorrow night, after the boys leave. So you better rest and get all that soreness behind you because I really need to make love to you Kate…"

"And trust me Castle, I really need that too…"

"You'll let me lead?"

"I will. But that's not to say I won't lead the second time, or the third, or the time after that…"

"You'll keep score? Some partners in crime, partners in bed kind of score?"

"I think bed is actually the one place I'd love to let you lead, most of the time at least. Do you think you're man enough to handle that kind of power Castle? Do you think you'll be able to keep me satisfied if I allow you to lead, writer boy?"

"_Man_, Beckett, definitely writer _man_! And I'd prove it to you right know if I knew I could do that without hurting you…I can be gentle, believe me, but I really don't want to hold back during our first time together, and I'm not really sure I'll know what I'd be doing once we start, you know? A blinded by passion kind of thing…"

"Oh trust me Castle, I truly know what you mean! Now… how about some pills and a good book? If it's OK with you, I'd love to hang around in one of those sinfully comfortable couches of yours…"

"And to think that a few hours ago you were scolding me for sleeping out there instead of here…"

"Yeah, well, beds were made for sleeping, couches were made to sit on to read and watch TV…"

"That's not the only thing the bed was created for…"

"Yeah, hot news, neither the couches. Or any other surface for that matter. Now, would you get me a pill and a book already!"

"What do you feel like reading?"

"Surprise me. You have a billion books out there, pick one you think I'd like." And with that, he's off to get what I asked for. I take advantage of it to use the restroom. I've been fighting the urge to pee for the past hour at least!


	25. Hour 44

Thank you all for the alerts, the reviews and the favs. And to my amazing beta caskett. vs. stanathan, you make this story so much better!

**Hour 44**

"I thought I heard the printer from the little girl's room…" Kate says from behind me.

"Yeah. I kept thinking about surprising you with a book, but let's be honest, you read as much as I do and the truth is, most of the books are research related books for teens that Alexis bought. And I bet you don't want to read about Taboo or about the 1000 most bizarre ways to die."

"So you decided to print what, exactly?"

"Go get comfortable on the couch, where there's a pill, next to a glass of water and you'll find out what I printed soon enough." It's just a muscle relaxant; we really don't want to chance over-pill-intoxication right?

"Yeah, ok, I can do that!"

I can't really resist my urge, so I just lean in and give her a peck on the lips. I mean, really, why would I even want to fight that feeling?

I tenderly push her off to the living room while I wait for the printer to finish. I know it's not as comfortable as reading a book, but why would I go crazy thinking about a book she'd enjoy when I can give her her own copy of the yet to be printed _Frozen Heat_to mull over? I choose not to print the dedication: I'm not sure she'd allow me to print it if she sees it before it's printed and I really don't want to change it. She really did make my life an extraordinary one and I want the whole world to know it.

When I'm done printing the book, I go to the living room where I find her lying on the couch, legs in front of her, a few cushions holding her up. You can trust me when I say it's one of the sexiest things I've seen in many, many years. I know, cheesy right? But I just love these quiet Castle-Beckett moments, filled with tenderness, and an easiness I wasn't sure we were ever going to achieve. She's usually more reserved and uptight, and I'm usually a smoldering pain in the ass. I hold the printout behind my back, trying to prolong the surprise a bit longer.

"What? No book?" She asks me, looking slightly annoyed.

"What if I gave you about two hundred just-printed-pages-not-really-allowed-to-the-public-yet?"

"Really?" Her face lights up like a Christmas tree. "Were you really printing a copy of _Frozen Heat_ for me?"

"I was. But there're some ground rules: no matter what, you can't give me your input on it until late next week, when Imperion will be done with the printing. If I know myself, and trust me, I do, I'll change anything you don't like, risking a pissed of Gina AND Paula, which would mean no more summer for us. Think you can handle that? Rule number two of reading _Frozen Heat_ before it's printed: you really can't give me your input. Rule number three: when I say dinner is ready, you stop reading wherever you are. Rule number four: you can't get back to it tonight. We're having dinner, then a movie, then some kisses and then bed time. Rule number five: you don't get the dedication until next week. I asked Paula to send a copy for you to the Hamptons."

"Really? You gonna quote The Fight Club to me?"

"Yeah, why not? Either way, can you commit to those rules?"

"Yes, I believe I can. But you're not going to warn me about leaking it on your fan page or selling it to the highest bidder?"

"I trust you with my life Beckett, I think I can trust you with a little book confidentiality right?"

"Thank you Castle. This, this means a lot to me…"

"Always Beckett. I'm naming you my official first reader, besides Alexis, who actually reads every chapter right after they are done."

"That's fine by me. I'd rather live blissfully spoiler free if that's OK…"

"Good. I'll leave you to it while I make us some dinner. What would you like?"

"Something that takes 24 hours?"

"Uhm, sandwiches it is!"

"What? No! If you're giving me something as amazing as your latest book to read, I'm gonna need at least until I know what you did to Rook…the last one ended not so nicely…"

"No matter where we stood while I was writing it Beckett, I needed for them to have a happy ending as much as the next shipper you know?"

"Yeah… you're a metrosexual after all…"

"And you love it!"

"Go! Make us dinner and let me read!"

"Fine, fine! You're so bossy when you have a book in hand…"

"Yeah, well, it's not just ANY book Castle"

For both our sakes, I decide to leave it like that. I find that sentence a win-win situation. She admitted to loving my books, I admit I love the bossy side of her without actually saying it. I can so see a dominatrix side of her and I don't really want to see it come out to play yet… Maybe after our thousandth time or something like that…

I head to the kitchen trying to think about a way of delaying dinner. I decide to do a mushroom risotto and I remember the surprise I had thought about this morning: we're having dinner on my balcony. We had some great moments there. I'm guessing a candle lit dinner instead of lunch could be just as good. Some white wine, and if I'm lucky, we'll end up lounging in one of those comfortable chairs together, enjoying the lights of the city with it's nighttime buzz. Yeah, that sounds good!

"Castle?" Kate's voice calls to me.

"Yes Kate?"

"Uhm, I know I said I wanted to have some time to read your next best seller, but you need to start the food soon 'cause as enthralled as I am with this master piece, I'm kind of hungry…"

"Oh, yeah, I just got lost daydreaming…"

"Well, whatever you're making won't get done by itself, and you see cabana boy, you won't get no kisses unless I'm well fed…"

"On it! You in the mood for some rice?"

"I'm in the mood for whatever you make me! Just get onto it!"

I start cooking right away, no need to keep her waiting right? Once I have everything going, I grab some candles, silverware, wine glasses and everything else we might need. She's so absorbed by the book that she doesn't seem to notice me coming and going to my bedroom. It's like she let her guard down. I wonder if it's because she got the I'm-a-homicide-detective chip out or because she's so comfortable here that she simply doesn't need to keep her guard up. Either way, I love her all the more for it. If that's even possible…

After making sure everything is going good in the kitchen, I go to the living room to see how Kate is doing. The image I run into almost has me undone. "Kate? Love, what's going on? Why are you crying?"

"Uhm, it's nothing Castle, really. Don't worry about it. This is good! Your best one yet, and trust me, I know them all…"

"Really Beckett, you're going to use that line against me, not an hour after you admonished me about using it?"

"Rule number one of the advance reading club: no input remember?"

"Well yeah, but if it has you crying like this not twenty pages into it, I must have done something wrong… it's not a tragedy you know? Just some mystery novel…"

"Never use the word 'just' to describe any of your books Castle. And it's not sad per-se, it's just… the beginning is hard to read for me, and suddenly I realized, if it's hard for me to read about it, how hard was it for you to write about it? After everything we've been trough… after everything I put you trough, how can you still love me?"

"Kate where's this coming from!"

"It's just that the beginning of the book has so much to do with what happened to us, you know? I knew that after the way things ended in _Heat Rises_ that this wouldn't be an easy book for either one of us. But to see your love, and tolerance and patience written in these beautiful pages, I just can't stop thinking about the pain my hiding must have put you through…"

"Beckett, we've talked about it. It's in the past. Did it hurt like a bitch? It sure did, but if we're not mauling over the time we lost, then we won't waste our time thinking about this either, capicse? Someone once described the Nikki Heat series as three long love letters to you. Well, if that's so, I'd like to think this one is the best one yet. So just relax and enjoy it, dinner will be ready anytime soon!"

"You know I truly do love you right? And that I truly love your books. Because I do, Castle, I honestly do!"

"Good, so it's mutual then. The loving each other thing, not the loving my books thing, though I do have some fun writing it!"

I reluctantly leave her side to make sure I don't ruin the risotto, but not before I lean in and give her a quick kiss to remember me while I'm gone…


	26. Hour 45

Thanks for reading, for the alerts, the reviews and the favs. And thanks to caskett. Vs .stanathan for her amazing beta.

OHM! I just realized… this characters aren't mine! Please don't sue…

**Hour 44**

"Kate! We had a deal! You'd stop reading as soon as I said so!" He tries to get the page I'm currently reading from me but I'll have none of that. I've been wondering how he was going to write the make-up scene between Nikki and Rook after our own summer fall out and so far he's not disappointed. I had assumed it was going to be good, but as always, Rick Castle's latest book has me enthralled. Which leads to our current discussion.

"And I have every intention to follow that rule! I just need to finish the paragraph! Why don't you refill my glass and I promise to be done as soon as you get there."

"You don't need to get your glass refilled when you have a perfectly full one outside, on the table."

Ok, so the whole outside thing gets my attention even more than our alter ego's reconciliation, so I need to ask: "Outside? What do you mean by that? I thought you were making us something."

"And I was. Do you remember the surprise I didn't reveal this morning?" I nod with my head. "Well, it's waiting for us at our balcony."

"_Our_ balcony? We share a few hours there and suddenly it's 'ours'? What about your bed Castle? Is your bed 'ours' too?"

"First of all, it's _our_ balcony because I've never ever shared it with anyone else, not even Alexis. It's always been my 'clear my mind' space. But knowing that you've been there, that you opened yourself to me there, that you shared so many things with me there, makes it our balcony. And truth be told, I don't think I'd ever be able to sleep in that bed without you by my side, so yes, as far as I'm concerned, the bed is ours, and if you have a problem with that, then it's completely yours. I don't want a bed that smells, feels and reminds me of you unless you're there to share it with me."

"Ok, I don't know if that's the sweetest or corniest thing you've told me so far…" I really don't. That doesn't necessarily mean I don't appreciate it though right? "Either way, you got me. Both things can now be called ours, as long as you accept that, IF we ever go back, the good chair and the desk we sit at in the precinct are still mine."

"Does that mean your bed will eventually be ours too?"

"As far as I'm concerned, I can't picture myself falling into REM sleep unless you're there with me, so for all I know every bed I sleep on from now on will be ours, because we'll be sharing it. And hopefully, we won't only sleep _on_ them…" I can't really stop teasing him you know? Our banter is one of the reasons I finally caved to admitting my feelings for him, third after his relationship with Alexis and his mother and he's ability to make me smile, no matter the circumstance.

"Ok, that's it. Our 72 hour clothes optional festival has now been extended to every second you and I share together alone."

"If that's your way of stating that from now on you'll be naked whenever we share a car, then let me tell you mister that we'll never share a car alone again. I know there's an exhibitionist right under your designer clothes, but there's no way Jose I'll be willing to share your ruggedly handsome body with the rest of the city! And we're not turning what I can only assume is your private beach at the Hamptons into a nudist one either." I want to kiss his pout away. But all this verbal banter got me on fire… "Though if I were you, I wouldn't be surprised if the next time I open the door to my house I'm wearing a robe. With nothing underneath."

"Beckett! That's so not fair! Suddenly I have the urge to send you home so I can follow you like a lost puppy and knock on your door, but I made all this risotto and we better dig into it because if we don't it'll be ruined and I spent hours preparing it!"

"Even if it wasn't for the risotto waiting for us, I still wouldn't allow you to send me home. I'm way too comfortable here, and truth be told, your robes are fluffier than mine but I'm afraid they won't fit on my bag so I can surreptitiously take one of them home with me…"

"No need to hide it. Anything you want to surprise me by being naked underneath is yours to take." And I kiss him. Fully. My hands go to his head and run my fingers through his hair, messing with it while his hands frame my face. I know he wants to push this further when he too runs them through my hair but we can't. For the umpteenth time in two days I force us apart. "Trust me, stopping this before we actually do something is once too many for me too Rick. So please, can we get the food and head out to _our_ balcony?" I put special stress on the word 'our' and that seems to keep him happy. The best thing about dating a nine year old? He has the attention span of a cocker spaniel. Cocker. Humph. Wrong choice of words. Good thing I didn't voice them…But you get the idea right? It's amazingly easy to take him from disappointed to happy. And despite previous reservations, I do plan on keeping him happy.

"Hey where did you go?"

"What?"

"I went to get our dishes and you're in the exact same spot I left you in, with dreamy looking eyes. Hence the question, where did you go?"

"No place, I was still here, loving the fact that the idea of us, having dinner on our balcony seems to be enough to keep your disappointment on our lack of release at bay."

By silent agreement, we both head to the balcony. It seems everything but the dishes are already there, for he doesn't ask me to grab anything. He'll make such a good stay at home wife someday…

"I'm not going to lie to you, I want it as much as a kid wants to go to the toy store with a 'Get all for free card' but I do agree on our waiting. For you it's about giving all you have, for me it's about being able to not restrain myself with thoughts of hurting you."

"I think it's a safe bet to guess I'd be too high on the adrenaline to even notice it, but you're right, I'd for sure be sorer than I am right now. And it won't be the good kind of soreness."

When we get to 'our' balcony, I can't help the sudden rush of love I feel creeping inside of me. Realizing that you're truly loved does that to you, and seeing the care he put in this simple dinner is just more proof of how foolish I've been for fighting this. "I know we promised not to stay stuck in the past, but seeing all of this, I can't really help feeling like a fool. To know that I've denied myself the opportunity to be as loved as you make me feel is kind of frustrating right now."

"Can I get that signed? Because I know I'll fuck up, I'll smother you and my neediness might eventually push you away, but I need for you to always remember that any mistake I might make, will be in some twisted way explained and justified in the deepness of my feelings towards you. I won't be able to help my need to protect you, to foolishly put myself at risk in any way if that helps me keep you safe. Then again, I've been doing that for the past 4 years, so, nothing new there…"

"I don't need to sign anything; I know where you stand because it's where I stand too. And about your need to put yourself at harm's way in order to protect me is not only foolish but selfish. What makes you think I could stand the idea of you being hurt any more than you could stand seeing me hurt? After years of fighting it, we've finally admitted to each other that we're in love and more than willing to give us a chance. I get your need to protect me Castle. And I expect you to do it when it means sheltering me form the rain, taking care of me if I'm sick and making sure I eat regularly. But as homicide detective and your girlfriend, I can't allow you to act recklessly out of a need to keep me safe. I just can't." Trying to dispel some of the frustration I feel, I sit down, grab a fork and take a mouthful of the amazingly tempting risotto. I don't even try to hide the moan that leaves my mouth. "Castle, this is way too good." I look at him and I know what he's thinking, and being Castle, he doesn't disappoint.

"Kate you know I have to try…"

"I do Castle, and I accept that need. But I need for you to understand that I can't lose you anymore than you're willing to lose me!"

"How about this: we both make a commitment to try to avoid extremely stupid situations."

"Like jumping in front of a bullet completely un protected?"

"Had you been in my situation you would have done the same!"

"Maybe. But you wouldn't have been able to forgive me, just as I wouldn't have been able to forgive you if anything had happened to you in that moment. Knowing that the love we share was ultimately what tore us apart would simply be too much."

"What about your mother's murder?"

"What about it?"

"How is you chasing a trained assassin to a building's roof any less idiotic than trying to jump in front of a bullet?"

"I told you I'm done with it!"

"What about new cases?"

"Castle! First of all, I haven't decided I'll go back to the force, and even if I did, you know my job is a dangerous one, but you've known that all along Rick! You can't ask me to be any less-cop than I am. I don't know how to care less about the victims or how to not put myself in a dangerous situation if that means saving someone's life! I can promise I'll think things through, but I am what I am. Please, don't ask me to change that!"

"I won't! I guess, it's just that now we have so much more to lose! The idea of you chasing a suspect makes me tear up!"

"Then it's something we'll have to work through together. But I mean it Castle, you can't ask me to be any less of a cop any more than I can ask you to actually stay in the car, Rick."

"I know. I guess you're right. Thinking things trough would have to be enough."

After his final words, each of us gets lost in a word of our own. I guess the 'I knows' aren't as easy to believe as they are to voice them. The whole playing-with-fire-on-a-daily-basis is just another mile stone we'll have to overcome…


	27. Hour 46

**Thanks for the alerts, favs and reviews, and to my amazing beta, caskett. vs. stanathan. You guys make this trip worthwhile. **

**Spoilers for the first chapter of "Frozen Heat" ahead! It was published via Twitter, and it came in really handy! But you might want to skip some of this if you want to read it spoiler free!**

**Hour 46**

"Are you still hungry?"

"Nope, I'm fine. Full might actually be a more accurate word…"

"Well, can't blame a guy for asking after you completely cleaned your plate… not a grain of rice left…"

"That's what happens when the love of your life makes you this unbelievably good risotto."

"I never tire of it…"

"Of me complementing your culinary creations."

"No, of you calling me the love of your life."

"Well you better not, cause I'm not done saying it." At this, she stands up as if to collect the dishes. I grab her hand. "Don't. Leave everything there."

"We have to take everything back inside at some point Castle. Why postpone it?"

"Because I'm not done enjoying our balcony yet. Why don't you come and sit here with me?"

"Why? So that now you can call this chair ours?"

I wink at her and add: "Have a problem with that?"

"Actually, I don't think I do, no." And to my surprise, she joins me in this obscenely big chair for just one. But contrary to my expectations, she doesn't sit next to me: she pushes my knees apart and sits at the v of my legs. Fine by me. This lounge chair is deep enough to fully accommodate the both of us. I pull her hair to the side and start showering her neck with butterfly kisses.

"Hey! What did we say about starting things we won't be able to finish?"

"And what did you expect me to do Beckett? I have all this amazing neck skin right here, available for kissing. It's almost as if it were screaming at me: kiss me Castle, kiss me."

"Well, as screaming as it might be, you still better keep your kisses to yourself if you want me to stay here."

"Actually… would you mind coming here and sitting beside me?"

She turns around and stares at me dubiously. "I never thought I'd see the day when Richard Alexander Castle-Rodgers would ask a woman who has her behind pressed to his front to sit next to him instead…"

"Trust me, neither did I. But I thought that maybe"- I reach behind me, maintaining the suspense even if only a few seconds longer "I could read Frozen Heat to you."

"I thought not going back to it tonight was one of the advance-reading-group…"

"The rule said you couldn't go back to reading it. There was none that stated that I couldn't read to you…"

"Really? I'm going to be the only audience of the first Frozen Heat book reading?"

"Yes, although I should probably admit that I've already read some of the passages to Alexis… but not any since the book was finished, so it still counts right?"

"It sure does. And Rick, don't you ever feel anything but proud whenever you daughter comes before me ok? With the few exceptions of our wedding day and on the eventual let's-deliver-our-babies-days, she should always come first. She's your daughter, and even when we have our own kids, I'll always understand if you think they come first."

"Actually, I was that way with my last two relationships and look were they both ended. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they didn't work out, if they had, you would've been a home wrecker despite your claims against it. But when it comes to choosing between you and my/our children, I think it's about time I learned to balance things. She'll always be my proof reader, we have a good, solid scheme there, but from now own, you'll always be the only audience to the first book reading. Deal?"

"Deal. Now read!"

"First sit next to me, if not, you'll read it too, and I want for you to listen." I guess our height difference is a really good thing, because what she does next is probably one of the most arousing things anyone has ever done. In stead of sitting next to me, she sits in my lap, her front now clashing with mine.

"Can you see the pages if I seat like this?"

"Uhm yes, I can see the pages, but that doesn't mean I can really keep my mind in the task at hand…"

"Well, get used to it, because I'm not changing positions."

"You do realize I might get irreparably turned on by this, right?"

"And we'll deal with it IF the situation shall arise."

"Really? Don't you think this is torture enough? You have way more faith in me than I do if you think I can live trough this AND your innuendo."

"Just read Castle! I want to hear your words coming from your voice instead of in my mind." And without further encouragement, I start reading the first chapter of my latest book.

**SPOILES FOR FROZEN HEAT AHEAD! Stop reading if you want to be spoiler free!**

""_Oh, yeah, that's it, Rook," said Nikki Heat. "That's what I want. Just like that.""_

"Hey! That's the beginning! I've already finished the first chapter!"

"I know. And I also know that going through it made you cry."

"Yes, so what? You want to see me all teary eyed again?"

"As far as I'm concerned, if for the rest of our lives I see only tears of joy coming through your eyes is fine by me. But no, that's not my intention. Since you cried while reading it, and I cried while writing it, I was thinking that maybe we could read it together and maybe make it less painful to read again in the future… Kind of replace the hurtful moments with some more joyous ones…"

"I really love the way you think." She hugs me like a Koala would hug a tree. It feels as if we're each other's life-lines. I really love that feeling.

"_Oh, yeah, that's it, Rook," said Nikki Heat. "That's what I want. Just like that." A trickle of sweat rolled down his neck to his heaving chest. He groaned and bit down on his tongue. "Don't stop yet. Keep it going. Yes." She hovered over him, lowering her face just inches from his so she could whisper. "Yes. Work it just like that. Nice, easy rhythm. That's it. How does it feel?" Jameson Rook stared into her eyes intently just before he pinched his into a squint and moaned. Then his muscles went slack and he dropped his head backward. Nikki frowned and brought herself upright. "You can't do that to me. I cannot believe you're stopping."_

"Can I break one of the advance-reading-club rules?"

"Let me guess. The first one?"

"Yeah, kind of…"

"Ok, let's hear it. As long as you don't allow me to call Gina to ask her to change anything. We really need to let the book be if we want to enjoy our summer together…"

"Yeah, no, it's not about changing anything. It's about us…and making this beginning better for us both, you know…" I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a question or a statement, either way, I know what she means.

"Oh, yeah, ok, in that case you can say all you want."

"When I first read it, I couldn't believe you'd actually started it with, uhm, you know, us having sex…"

"I thought you didn't like to be compared to Nikki…"

"Yeah, well, the whole trainer-with-benefits kind of proved you had really nailed the knowing me and using it for inspiration…"

"Hey! Who is he?! There's no way I'll ever let you train with him again! Furthermore, from now on, you only train with me! Even if it means getting my ass kicked more times than I'd care to count…"

"Oh, don't worry, he was gone way before you entered the picture…"

"He better have been gone!"

She leans in and kisses my chin, my neck, my lips. There's no real order, just a whole bunch of kisses. "You trying to distract me?"

"Don't know… is it working?"

"It is! Now, back to the book. Why didn't you believe I'd open the book with a scene of Nikki and Rook going at it?"

"Because that would have been cheating the audience."

"Uhm, you do realize they did it like, two pages after, right?"

"Just, go on and I'll explain."

"What ever my lady wishes "_He let the dumbbells hit the black rubber floor beside the exercise bench and said, "Not stopping." He pulled in a chestful of air and coughed. "Just done."_

"_You're not done."_

"_Ten reps, I did ten reps."_

"_Not by my count."_

"_That's because your mind wanders. Besides, this rehab is for my own good. Why would I skip reps?"_

"_Because I turned away once and you thought I wasn't looking."_

_He scoffed, then asked, "Were you?"_

"_Yes, and you only did eight. Do you want me to help you do your physical therapy, or be your enabler?"_

"_I swear I did at least nine."_"

"Ok, so was why having them doing rehab better?" I ask her.

"Because had it been you who was one shot, you would have allowed me what you let Nikki do for Rook. The chance to be with you while you got better. I know I didn't give you that, but your heart's so much bigger than mine, but I've been hoping you'd give them that, you know? The chance to overcome this difficulty together. I really wanted to know you hadn't turned into me…" She trails off.

"And what would that have entailed, Beckett?"

"Doing to Nikki what I did to you! Having Rook reject her and what she had to give to help him get better. And I know it would have taken me two months instead of three to get back in shape…"

"First of all, no regrets remember? Secondly, you did what you needed to do, Kate. And as I've told you before, yes, it hurt like hell, but you came back to me eventually. Besides, when I write their love story, I like to make it about what we should be living, not about the bad patches we've had…And last but not least… If we can barely keep our hand to each other after only two days of revelations, we wouldn't have survived THREE whole months of hands-to-ourselves!"

"I guess you're right there…"

"You guess!? You know I'm right…"

"Maybe. Then again, I might not have allowed you to actually repeat those wonderful words to me. I wasn't ready, and the love I see in your eyes right now after seeing my battered body, would have been enough reason to push you away. I was ready to admit to myself that I was in love with you, but I was so not ready to admit it to you back then…"

We spend a few minutes in deep thought. I guess I should have known the making-new-memories plan was going to mean a few rough moments too…Finally, when it's beginning to get a little awkward I say "Shall I continue?"

"Yes please."

[…] "_"Who'd have thought? An earthquake in New York City?"_

_He put his arms around her. "Can't complain about the timing."_

"_Hard to top."_

"_Guess we'll just have to try," he said, and they kissed. Her phone rang and Heat pulled away to answer it. Without being asked, he handed her a pen and notepad and she jotted down an address. "On my way."_

"_You know what I think we should do today?"_

_Nikki slipped her phone into her blazer pocket. "Yes, I do. And as much as I'd love to—believe me, I'd love to—I've got to get to work."_

"_Go to Hawaii."_

"_Very funny."_

"_I'm not joking. Let's just go. Maui. Mmm, Maui."_

"_You know I can't do that."_

"_Give me one reason."_

"_I've got a murder to handle."_

"_Nikki. If there's one thing I've learned in our time together, it's never let a murder get in the way of a good time."_

"_So I've noticed. And what about your work? Don't you have some magazine article you should be writing? Some exposé of corruption in the dark corridors of the World Bank? A chronicle of your ride along with a bin Laden hunter? Your weekend in the Seychelles with Johnny Depp or Mick?"_

_Rook pondered that and said, "If we left this afternoon, we could be in Lahaina for breakfast. And if you feel guilty, don't. You deserve it after taking care of me for two months." She ignored him and clipped her detective shield onto her waistband. "Come on, Nikki, how many homicides are there in this city in a year, five hundred?"_

"_More like five-thirty."_

"_All right, that's fewer than two a day. Look, we peace-out to Maui today and come back in a week, you'd miss, maybe, ten murders. And not all of them would be in your precinct anyway."_

"_You're making a very clear point here, Rook."_

_He looked at her, mildly taken aback. "I am?"_

"_Yes. And the point is, I don't care how many Pulitzer Prizes you've won. You still have the brain of a sixteen-year-old."_

"_So, is that a yes?"_

"_Make that a fifteen-year-old." Nikki kissed him again and cupped him between the legs. "By the way? So worth the wait." And then she went to work._" I pause for a moment. After all, this is as far as I wanted to get, at least tonight. Then I can't keep my mouth shut and I add "We should do that."

"What? Have earth moving sex? Don't worry, we will…"

"So not fair! Really, you have way too much faith in me if you really think I can survive having you wrapped around me and saying things about having earth moving sex!"

"Oh but you love my teasing Ricky…" She's such a seductress… I'm completely doomed…

"That I do, Miss Beckett, that I do. But what I meant was, we should go to Hawaii."

"What?! No Castle! We're going to the Hamptons! You promised!"

"Whoa, I wouldn't have thought that the idea of going to a beach house that has my mother and daughter in it would be more appealing than a week alone in Hawaii…"

"It's not so much about your family but about the house really…"

"Oh so you do love me for my money!"

"What?! No! It's just that you've talked about this house so much that I'm kind of intrigued now…You know I don't." And I kiss her, even if it's just to shut her up.

"Yes, I know, you don't care about my money. That doesn't mean I can't tease you about it from time to time…"

"Sure, fine, whatever…"

"Ok, so about Hawaii… maybe after the Hamptons?"

"How about one trip at the time?"

"Yeah, I guess we could do that…"

"Thank you." And we stay like that. With our arms around each other, enjoying this beautiful New York night for a while.


	28. Hour 47

Ok, it's my shortest one to the date, and I apologize for that, but, well, this is how it turned out! Thanks for the reviews, the favs and the alerts. And of course, thanks caskett. vs. stanathan for your amazing beta

**Hour 47**

I love the fact that, even if we can't make love yet, we can still enjoy a lot of physical contact. Being like this, wrapped around his body, with his hands making senseless paths around my back, resting on my tights and then going up to my shoulders again makes me feel really, really safe. I know it should be a turn on, but the way he's holding me, silently accepting and actually sharing my need to be like this, close even with our clothes on, makes me feel cherished, loved, appreciated. And feeling that with the man I'm actually dating? It's really nice. The last time I ever felt like this was in my father's arms. And it's been years since the last time I ever felt like this.

"Kate?"

"Go away. I'm too comfortable to move."

"Hey! What if I needed to pee?"

"You'd have to hold it. I mean it. I'm too comfortable to move, so I'm not moving."

"But don't you want to do something?"

"Why would we need to do something when we can stay like this? Or are you not comfortable? Am I too heavy for you?" I make as if to stand up-

"No Kate! I just, I was afraid this might be boring for you…"

"Are you bored?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then why would I be? Usually you're the overactive one, so if you're fine with being quiet, then trust me, so am I…"

"But you'd tell me if you got bored right?"

"Why would I? Is it so hard to believe that I could actually be happy with simply holding you?"

"No, I guess not. But there are so many people that see holding another as a waste of time, and knowing you're usually doing useful things with your time, like following leads, interviewing suspects, drinking coffee, it feels a bit weird to be here, just holding each other…"

"Did you know that the lack of human contact can actually be the cause of death of a new born?" He nods yes. "Well, I see this aspect of our relationship as a new born. This means we need a lot of physical contact with each other if we don't want for it to die. But we've already decided that we can't get physical in the way we both would like to yet, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy just being with each other. Like this. Touching, holding, breathing the same air, not arousing, just comforting, loving. For the past four years, we shared hundreds of dangerous situations: a dirty bomb, a freezer, the Hudson River, various types of psychos, obsessed serial killers, government agencies, drug dealers, professional shooters, wacko ones and a long list of etc's. For the first time since we met, we have the possibility of being together because we really want to, not because we have a case, or one or both of us is in danger or we had a bad day. Beyond a few nights at the Old Haunt, some visits to the comfort food truck and your mum's play, we never really spent that much time just being with each other. Well, that's going to change. When I told you that you could pretty much kiss me whenever and wherever you wanted, I meant that if you wanted to hold me or touch me just because, you could do that too. I'd very much like for you to do it." I see his mischievous grin and I suddenly need to chastise him. "Get your mind out of the gutter Castle! I didn't just hand you a wild card to get me aroused at the precinct, the back of one of your town cars or any other public place. I might not have a badge anymore, but a good cop is always a cop."

"And you're a _really_ good one."

"Thanks, but that's a bit subjective, don't you think?"

"It might be, but that doesn't make it any less truth."

"Whatever you say." I hide my nose into the crook of his neck and take a deep breath. I can feel him getting Goosebumps when I exhale.

I really, really like this. I press my lips in the sensitive place behind his ear; it's slow, tender, long. I'm in no hurry to move to the next spot, but as I lift my lips to ponder were to take them, I realize his hands have stopped their movement over my back. I decide under his chin is a spot I hadn't explored yet so that's where they rest next. His hands move a little lower. As I move my lips mere millimeters to the right, he goes a bit down still. And suddenly, I'm getting my lips tuned with the contours of his face and his hands are becoming acquainted with the expanse of my back. We continue this little ritual for what seems like days, but it's only maybe hour 46 of our delayed clothes optional festival. He did say he wanted to spend the first day of it just kissing. Well, I figure why not give that side of our festival a head start so that when the time comes, we can go straight to the main course.


	29. Hour 48

**My usual thanks! Hope you enjoy and I hope you don´t mind, but I won´t be able to post until next week… but at least this is a long one right? Have a great weekend!**

**Hour 47**

"Hey Kate?" I ask.

"Yeah?" She mumbles.

"Can I ask you something?"

"That depends… What do you want to ask me?"

"Remember that case of the murdered chef and Q3?"

"Meaning the time you went out on a date with my high school friend?"

"Errrr… yeah, that."

"What do you want to know about that case?"

"Well, it's more like something Maddie told me about you…"

"And what was that?"

"Well, we were talking about Demming and how I didn't see him as your type and she told me that you never really had a type. She said you had dated a guitarist with a flannel shirt, whom I already knew about from you, but also a Med student, which I can understand after seeing you date Josh. But she said you also dated some French guy who might or might not have been royalty."

"I'm not really hearing a question, Ricky! And before you ask, I'm not giving you my number. Either one of them."

"Kate, trust me, there are numbers neither one of us should disclose. But what I wanted to ask was a lot more innocent. I just wondered if the French guy was actually royalty…"

"He wasn't. He was the heir of a big French holding, but he wasn't blue blooded."

"Good."

"Why?"

"Because the guitarist I can compete with, and apparently the doctors without borders altruist too, because you dated their epitome and he wasn't god enough. But I'm not sure I can compete with some French royalite…"

"Castle, first of all, _royalite?_Really? They pay you millions of dollars for writing books and that's the best you've got? Secondly, I haven't seen André in maybe 20 years. I must have been sixteen when we met and trust me, your kisses are a billion times better than his were. And before you ask, no, we didn't do anything other than some lip lock. Back then I used too do much ado about nothing. Open mouth kissing was all I did for a really long time."

"At least during your time at Stuyvesant High School?"

"Oh my god! How do you even remember those things!?"

"I have a writer's memory Kate. They pay me those millions you just talked about to remember these things."

"I know, but where I went to school? How is that relevant for Nikki Heat?"

"Simple, Kate. It allows me to know that you have background in science."

"But when did you see me using it?"

"Maybe never, but it helps prove that you're much more that a hot body; you also have a gifted mind."

"Castle…" I love that warning tone…

"I know, I know, flattery will get me nowhere."

"Good to know you're learning fast."

"Well you know, you're not the only bright mind on this balcony…"

"Oh trust me, I know I'm not. I love that mind of yours so much more than its packaging."

Did I mention we're still holding each other? More importantly, she's still sitting on me. We're still chest to chest and her nose is once again hiding in the crook of my neck (after spending the best part of an hour rummaging around my face and all those soft-sensible skin patches between my chin and my chest). "Though I must say, I do love your body too…"

"Good. Cause it's a whole package…" We spend a few minutes in silence, but I sense an open and trusting Kate in my arms so I can't really resist my need to know more things about her. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Just ask, Castle. In the worst case scenario, I won't answer."

"Why did you stop being friends with Madison?"

"Because of a guy… his name was Brent Edwards. We were in our senior year and we both were interested in him. We had decided neither one of us would date him but she did. I got upset and we ever talked again until I ran into her during that case."

"And did you talk to her again after that?"

"Yeah, we actually talk once every month or so. It was good running into her again…you know, reconnect with someone who knew me before my mum's murder…"

I don't want to seem insensitive, but I liked the happy mood we had set, so I try to regain it… "Did you really want to have little Castle babies back then?"

"Did you want to have little Beckett babies back then?"

"I've always wanted to have a son or a daughter with you."

"There you have my answer." Once again, we enjoy the silence for a few moments, but this time it's her who interrupts it. "Did you really want to have a baby with me back then? I wasn't particularly nice to you during that first year…"

"Trust me, compared to Meredith and Gina, you were an angel! And to answer your question, yes, I would have been ecstatic with the perspective of having a child with you. I always dreamed of having another child, but I only wanted to actually do it when I met you. You intrigued me, you challenged me, you seemed real. And that was new. Besides my mother and Alexis, it wasn't usual for me to be surrounded by real women. So to meet you was a refreshing change…And despite my playboy stupidity, I would have done anything you asked me to do, even jump over a bridge."

"Don't." She warned.

"Don't what?"

"Don't give me such power over you!"

"What do you mean? Why not?"

"It's like betting all your chips on the same number at the roulette. Everyone knows you just don't do that!"

"But Kate, I already know you're the paying bet!"

"But I don't want to be the only one! I mean, what would happen to you if anything happened to me?"

"I probably wouldn't be able to go on."

"And Alexis would hate me until the end of time! And so would your mother and friends… And fans. I know you love me, and trust me, I love you mindlessly, but I fear what would happen to me if I ever lost you. And I don't want for you to share that fear…"

"Too late Kate, I already do. I mean, I know I wouldn't do anything as drastic as committing suicide if anything happened to you Kate, but don't ask me to move on, don't expect me to be fine because I wouldn't be. Alexis, my mother, and you are my everything. And yes, I know my mum will die before I do. But I'd die if Alexis died before me and I know I won't ever be the same if you died. But Kate, I want for us to share forty or fifty years together before either one worries about life without the other…."

"Will Nikki Heat ever be clothed on the cover?"

"Nice change of subject, very smooth. And to answer your question, I don't think so, no."

"That's great, you're just going to keep giving people reasons to make fun of me…"

"Well detective, I need to level the field a little bit. I'm always giving them reasons to make fun of me!" She pokes my shoulder. We're gonna need to talk about that damn finger. It's quite a bit stronger than she seems to think it is.

"Yeah, well, that's your choice. I have no voice in Nikki's cover attire. Or lack of it, for what it's worth."

"Can you stop complaining about it already? It's my greatest character so far, and it's going to feed us and our children, so quit it. Besides, it's not as if it actually was your smokin' hot silhouette on the cover…it's just a random woman's body…"

Once again, she' s the one to break the silence. "Why didn't you call? I mean, after you went to the Hamptons for the summer, why didn't you call to let us know you were back?"

Did I mention it's really distracting to have her breathing in my neck?

"I really didn't know how. I was kind of frustrated at you for choosing Demming over me, and even though I was with Gina, I wouldn't have been able to hide my jealousy. So I kept pushing the call back, hoping you'd come and find me at a book signing or something."

"Fair enough, I guess."

"Can we please, allow our kids to believe in Santa?"

"You do realize the topic jumping we're doing is kind of bizarre right?"

"Yes I do. So? Can we?"

"Yes Castle, we can. Just because I learned the truth when I was three doesn't mean I can't enjoy the happiness that believing in fantasy can bring to a child. As far as I'm concerned, we can do Santa, the Easter Bunny and any other character you want."

"Oh it's going to be so cool! We're going to have so much fun! I remember when Alexis was little! Every year she insisted on leaving cookies and a glass of milk for Santa, so he could keep his strength for the long night he had ahead of him."

"I wonder who's idea that was…"

"Yeah, well, setting all the presents at three in the morning is quite an appetite developer, trust me. You'll learn it soon enough!"

"Who says I'll be staying up?! Present arranging can be your thing Castle!"

"That's fine by me!" After a few minutes of silence a thought hits me. "Were you ever going to tell me about your modeling days?"

"What?! How did you find out about that?!"

"Oh, ummmm…"

"I'm gonna kill the boys!"

"No, don't! Please! They'll kill me if they found out I told you!"

"When did they tell you about it? They promised me they wouldn't!"

"Um, it was last summer actually…I was kind of frustrated, with, you know, you not calling, Gates trying to ban me from the precinct and not finding any new leads. They showed them to me to try and cheer me up…"

"Did it work?"

"Yes it did. Until I started fantasizing about you and that tennis attire, which lead me to remember you were with Josh and that I had no right to think about you in that way. So in the end, knowing about that photo shoot only made me feel guilty."

"Don't. Don't you ever feel guilty about wanting me. I thought about you a lot during last summer. Granted, I wasn't strong enough to do anything with the feelings that thinking about you raised, but I did spend hours wondering what you were doing, what you were wearing, what you were writing, hoping that maybe you were fantasizing about me too…"

"Trust me Kate, I was!"

"Good. And you better never stop thinking about me."

"Should I be ashamed of admitting that my greatest fantasies didn't really involved us being naked, but us being like this, comfortable with each other, sharing mindless conversations, innocents touches and soft kisses?"

"You can be if you want to, but I'll never be ashamed of fantasizing about us being partners in every sense of the word, in and outside the bedroom. But I know what you mean, and I share those fantasies, the ones that include us living a life together, not just a mindless affair."

"It could never be a mindless affair between us Kate. If anything, it'd be an affair to remember."

"Oh I love that movie! I remember crying over it thousands of times with my mum, and every time my dad would chastise us for watching it knowing it made us so sad."

"And why did you? Watch it so many times knowing it made you sad?"

"Because it also made us happy at the end. Seeing them overcoming their obstacles was always inspiring. And seeing how he chose to be with her, even knowing she couldn't walk was nice to see. Come to think of it, I don't think I saw it again after my mum died."

"I never saw it. Would you like to watch it with me?"

"Absolutely, but not tonight." She moves back a little and runs her hands down my arms and intertwines our fingers. "Do you remember the first time we ever held hands?"

"What? Ummm, I don't think so, no. Do you?"

"Yeah. It was during the Triple Killer case. That's when I realized for the first time just how devastated I would be if anything ever happened to you. That was also the first time I ever brought you coffee."

"Hump. You do still owe me about a thousand of them…"

"Well, I'm unemployed, so homemade will have to do…"

I wonder if she realizes she's playing with our hands or if it's a mindless thing. "As long as you're wearing one of my button downs while you do so, it's fine by me."

"Castle! I'm not going to run around the loft wearing your shirts everyday! These past few days were an exception!"

"Well, I have no problem with you running around in your birthday suit, but I doubt mother and Alexis would appreciate that…" She lets go of my right hand to poke me again.

"Hey! Enough with the poking thing! There are a lot more effective and less hurtful ways to get my attention you know?"

"Such as?"

"Such as glaring at me. Or even better, a kiss would fulfill the job just fine."

"Really?" She leans in as if to prove that theory. Her touch is almost a whisper but it has me transfixed. She seems to agree. "Yeah…" She leans in again. "I can see the advantages of this method." And again. This time though, I don't allow her to push away. I let go of her hand and, placing both of mine at the back of her skull, I bring her to me.

Enough mindless talk for a while.


	30. Hours 49 and 50

Please don't kill me! I'm beta-less for a couple of weeks and I find it really important to proof read many many times before I feel confident enough to post! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews I got for the last chapter! Some of you seemed to like it, others to hate it, but well, there is a song in Spanish that says something about hate being better that indifference, so, thank you all!

Hours 49 and 50

I wake up with a start with. I feel lost and disoriented. Where am I? And why do I have a woman wrapped around me like a koala? And am I really outside? None of it really matters I guess.How could something that feels so right be under any means wrong, right? Then I remember it's not just any woman. It's Kate. Kate is the woman wrapped around me and with that thought, it all comes back to me. The last few days, her bruises, our kisses, that apparently senseless talk we last shared. Suddenly, I'm afraid to move. I don't want to risk waking her. It might remind her of the fact that we're still outside, and that there are still chores to be done: the dishes are here with us, there are some pots and pans waiting to be cleaned and she'd probably want to go through the whole getting ready for bed routine. And only then we'd be able to regain this amazing feeling of two bodies pressed together. After an hour of us resting like this I'm not ready to let this feeling go yet. Subsequently, I try to numb my mind again so I can quietly go back to sleep.Not an easy task if you ask this humble writer. Humble writer. The thought makes me chuckle. And the chuckle wakes her up.

"What?" She's extremely sexy while groggy with sleep. Illegally so.

"What what?" Ok, se sexy and confused. Duly noted in case it's eventually needed as vantage point.

"Really? That's what you're going with? What what?"

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about Beckett!"

"You chuckling is the reason I woke up from the amazing dream I was having. I want to know what made you laugh."

"I was thinking about how hard it was for this humble writer to try and remain quiet in order to avoid waking you."

She snorts. "Really? Humble writer? You?"

"That's what I was laughing about! I thought humble writer, and suddenly I had the image of you talking about my apparently humongous ego, and it made me snort, which subsequently woke you up, hence this silly conversation."

"You should have insisted harder on it being nothing."

"Yeah, well, I'm not really sure I could deny you anything right now, so, if you ask me what's on my mind I kind of just tell you… hope it's OK…"

"Honesty always is the best policy."

"Glad you approve."

We fall silent once again, both of us too lazy to move. "Is this a reclining seat?"

"Beckett, did you take a look at this thing? Anything built for outside weather that is as comfortable as this must be reclining. Why?"

"I don't want to go inside yet, but we should get a bit more comfortable if we're going to be here a few more hours." And with that, she stands up and gives me this exasperated look. I guess she's bossy once the grogginess dissipates. But who am I to complain really, when she's ready to stay here, pretty much as we are. So I stand up, recline the chair to a 180º position and lay back down. When she sets herself down, she's once again holding me but this time around my right side. I take a deep breath and hold her just a bit closer to me. I feel her eyes close, her breath over one side of my neck and I am content. The full moon right in front of us is just a bonus.

"Don't!"

"Don't what Kate?"

"Don't start delivering cheesy lines such as I'd give you the moon or anything like that."

"Oh Beckett, you should know me better to know YOU better than to expect for you to accept such a comment from me! Besides, I already own my very own crate on it, and eventually everything I own will be yours, so why would I get you something you already own? If anything, I was about to offer you and endless amount of nights like this, peacefully spent wrapped in each other, either here or in any other place. Preferably inside so we can be naked and hopefully breathless."

And she laughs. It's loud and care free and almost cleansing. It feels as if we're truly letting go. She tickles me. Katherine Beckett actually places her finger around my belly and evilly runs them up and down leaving me no other choice but to retaliate. When we get too breathless to continue, we call a truce and once again fall silent for a while, and I'm more than fine with that. I fear any talk we might have to be a serious one. "So… we're having dinner with the Ryan's tomorrow."

I should really learn to hold my thoughts. If her tone and the look in her face are any indication, this is bound to be a rather serious conversation. Dang. "Yep. We have to text them the place. Any ideas?"

"About that…" A moment of awkward silence. "I was thinking, maybe I should try to get Espo an Lanie to join us…"

"Wouldn't that reunion be dangerous for a public place?"

"Yeah… so, what I was thinking was that maybe we could do it here? I mean, have all the gang together and talk about everything…"

"You sure you're ready for that? I thought we weren't going to talk about any major issues until we got back from the Hamptons…"

"I don't know if I'm truly ready. But the truth is, I'm not sure I'll ever be truly ready to talk about it. And the boys deserve better. I know they are at odds with each other and I owe it to the both of them to try to fix it. And the way I see it, the sooner the better. Like a band aid right?"

"That's what I always say. Ok, so we have to make dinner plans for tomorrow. Shall we tell them the other is coming or try to hide it? Should we ask Lanie over too? I mean, Jenny is coming, it only seems fair Espo's girl gets to come too…"

"Really? Espo's girl? What does that make me? Castle's girl?"

"Only if you want to be…"

"Oh trust me Mr Castle, I do. But you better not go around telling Lanie she's somebody's girl! She'll kick your butt!"

"Yet you're OK with being my girl?"

"Well, that's because I am. Even if you haven't properly claimed me yet, I see myself as yours in some way, just like I think of you as mine. You're the guy I turn to when I need a hug, reassurance or coffee. And I'm the person you turn to when you need some advice about Alexis, when you need a distraction after spending too much time at the bank with your mother or when you need to practice you conversation-starters-skills-for-a-meeting-the-in-laws-dinner. So, in a way, we belong to each other."

"I like that idea. I really love the idea of you claiming me as your own. Because, Kate, I am. For anything you need, anything you want, I'm yours to take. I hope you know that."

"I do. And right now, I need to take your loft for a dinner to fix the mess I made between our friends and colleagues. I need your amazing cooking skills to make us a great dinner, filled with comfort food but above all, I need you there with me, acting as a buffer, shielding me from the pain I know this talk will bring me. Seeing the guys at odds with each other and knowing that I was the cause of that is going to hurt like a bitch."

"Ok, I can be all of that for you Kate. All you ever needed to do was ask."

"I know, and that's why I'm asking now."Her eyebrows make this sexy little twitch to let me know she's thinking hard. A few seconds later, I know why: "So… how should we do this? Like you say, do we tell them the other is coming? I know Lanie has to be here, they are kind of back together, and even if they weren't, she's still as good a buffer for Espo as you're for me, so if we want to keep him from murdering Ryan, she's gotta come."

"Ok, so why don't you give her a call and run this idea thru her? I'm more into hide things until they are unavoidable, but we both know that's not your way…"

"You're right, it's not, but maybe this one time it'd be a good choice…Did I bring my phone here?"

I look around for a bit and luckily I see it lying in the chair she was previously occupying. "Yep. It's right over there." I take her arm off around me and stand up to grab it. As I'm handing it over, I lean down to give her a peck on the lips, after which I turn as if to leave her alone.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going? You better come back here and perform you buffer duties right this moment."

I turn around with the goofiest smile on my face and get back down on the chair. "I didn't want to impose in your girl talk with Lanie."

"Castle, we both know you are the master of girl talk! You promised to help me with this, I expect for you to honor that promise! So get back here and help us real girls do some planning!"


	31. Hour 51 and the rest of our third night

**Hour 51 and the rest of our third night together**

Ok, girl talk with Lanie about the boys is definitely in the top 5 of things to do to make Castle squirm. Seeing him fidgeting while I was dialing was hilarious and those first moments were too good:

"_Hey girl! Tired of writer boy already?_"

"Not yet, but getting there fast!"

"Hey!"

"_Girl am I on speaker phone with you and Castle?_"

"Yep. Gotta a problem with that MD?"

"_None what so ever Castle. I__'m pleasantly surprised that she was willing to do this.__"_

"You do know I'm still here right?"

"_Oh girl, don__'t try to deny it, this is not your usual self. Kate Beckett is not the kind of girl who shares girl talk with her man."_

"Yeah, well, not so easy to avoid it when said man is the master of girl talk. After all, you did talk about us with him instead of talking to me!"

"_And why am I to blame for the fact that you couldn't hold on to your phone?! You're the one who allowed him to take it!_"

"Either way, you talked to him and got his version of what happened instead of hanging up and waiting for me to call back."

"_Kate, I've been waiting four years to see this happening, I wasn't going to wait until you got all your pretty little thoughts in order to hear all about it!_"

"Either way Lanie, nothing you say can refute the fact that he's the biggest lady in the room."

"Hey! Lady or not, I have feelings, and you're beginning to hurt them!"

"What did I say, he's a girl."

"_He sure is. So, what've you been up to?__"_

"Oh, nothing much, just walked som, shared a nap, generally veg'd around. Just a nice, quiet day."

"_Good. You deserved as many of those as you can get. Both of you."_

And both of us answered "Thank you." She seems to find it funny, for we hear a laugh coming from the other side of the phone.

"_So? Why are you guys calling me so late in to the day? Or early in the night, you choose."_

"Actually Lanie, is Espo there with you?"

"_As a matter of fact, he happens to be here yeah. Why?"_

"Good, we need to talk to him, well, both of you, but we kind of wanted to have your opinion on the matter first…"

"_I__'m listening.__"_

"We're having dinner with the Ryan's tomorrow-"

She cut's in before I can finish that sentence: _"And you want Javi there but you're afraid of how he's going to behave?"_

"Yep, that pretty much sums it up…I need to try and fix this Lanie. They both did what they thought was best, and I can't stand to the idea of them fighting because of my selfishness."

"_Leave it to me. Give me the time and the place and he'll be there with an olive branch as a peace offer and all his ideas back in place." _

Castle chimes in: "Great. Uhm, 6:30, in my place."

"_Ok, see you both there! And you better be treating my girl right Castle, or you__'ll have to worry about me a hell of a lot more than Ryan about Javi!__"_

"Lanie! We've already talked about this! He's treating me more than OK."

"_Good. And you better be treating him in the same way, cause the threat goes both ways!" _And with that, she hangs up. No good bye, no see you tomorrow. Why doesn't that surprise me?

After we hung up, I look up to see hurt in Castle's eyes. What did I do know? "Hey, Castle, what's wrong? I thought you were OK with the whole gang coming here…If you changed your mind we can still go out, make something up…"

"No, that's OK, I really am OK with the guys coming over…"

"Then what's wrong? Why are you sad all of the sudden?"

"Why didn't you mention the book?"

Now I'm completely lost. What's he talking about? "What do you mean?"

"When she asked us what we'd been up to, you said nothing much, mentioned our walk in the park and the nap, but you didn't mention us reading Frozen Heat nor candle lit dinner outside…"

"First of all, you told me I'm not allowed to talk about it. But more importantly, and the real reason for that matter, I didn't want to share it with Lanie, not because I don't think it one of the most romantic gestures anyone has ever had towards me, but because I want to keep it as our secret. I love the fact that after only a 48 hour courtship you've already given me a free pass to read your unpublished book." I smile reassuringly at him and he seems to believe me. But his doubtfulness makes me ask: "Castle, what is it? Why are you so unsure of yourself all of the sudden?"

"I don't know. It's just that Kate, you mean so much to me, you're such an important piece of my life, that a part of me can't avoid thinking that I'm somehow going to mess this up. I don't want to take you for granted, nor your feelings or our relationship. And to me, sharing the book with you, in some way talking about what happened, is the highlight of this day. And you not mentioning it made me think that maybe to you it wasn't that important…"

I take his face in both of my hands because I need to make a point and for it to get through his thin skull: "Castle, I love you. I love what we share and what we're building together. I want, I need for you to accept that, cherish that knowledge and embrace it because this is it. I'm not ashamed of what we started. The fact that I want to be privy of it doesn't mean I want to hide it from the public eye. I just… what we shared this past two days has been so good, so special, that I want to keep it between us. All of it, not just sharing that first chapter. I guess I didn't share it with Lanie because it's one of the few things that's really ours. Taking a nap is something she could have imagined us doing, especially after the last couple of days. And the walk in Central Park was something we did in public, so for all I know there could be a picture of the two of sharing a hot dog on page 6. But you, me and Frozen Heat? That's ours."

"Would that bother you?"

"Whole sentences Castle. Would what bother me?"

"A picture of the two of us sharing a hot dog."

"No, it wouldn't. I honestly wouldn't mind if there's a picture of today's lunch on page 6. My dad might wonder what's going on, Gates would probably ban you from the precinct if I eventually decide to go back. But no Castle, I wouldn't mind if every bimbo out there finds out you're no longer bachelor number 9." Seeing him lost for words, I lean in and kiss him. Thoroughly. And suddenly, spending the night out here seems like the smartest thing to do. "Stay here, I'll be back in a minute."

I go inside, use the restroom, find a few blankets and a few minutes later, I'm back at the balcony, spreading the bedspreads over him and joining him under them.

"I like the way you think miss Beckett. It's a good thing we're both wearing comfortable clothes if we're going to spend the night out here, gazing at the moon and the sky." We share a few more kisses after that and eventually we fall asleep. For the third night in a row, I go to bed with his arms around me. And I'm sure that if I have anything to say about it, this is the only way I'll ever fall asleep from now on.


	32. Hour 59

Great news! My beta is back yay! How about all those spoilers running around the internet? Can't wait for sept 24…

**Hour 59**

"_I just called to say, I love you, I just called to say how much I-_ " What on earth is that?!

I wake up with a start to Stevie Wonder's stupid love song blaring through my phone. I risk a look at the screen and sure enough, Castle's goofiest face lights up. Hump. That's a new ID picture. New ringtone, new picture. I wonder what else he changed. "_I just called to say_—You better not have changed anything else and if you value your life at all, you better not be GPS tracking this phone 'cause this will be over before it begins."

"Good morning to you too Beckett! I think it's safe to assume that sleeping outdoors does nothing to improve your morning-pre-coffee-mood."

"Yeah, well, waking up to the cheesiest song ever created does nothing to improve it either, though I must say I do like the new picture." When he's not purposely trying to annoy me, I happen to love goofy Castle. Not that I plan on telling him that!

"Good, because goofy Castle happens to love you too."

Hump. Did I say that out laud? "I know. He just woke me up to tell me so. By the way, did I say that, I mean, did I say anything about goofy Castle?"

"No, you didn't, I'm just that good." I can't help it; I laugh. "And I didn't wake you up just for that. I actually wanted to know if you wanted breakfast at lounge bed, regular bed or at the table?"

"Did you see how nice it's out here? I'm not ready to go back inside yet. Not nearly ready."

"Great, I'll be there in a minute."

"And I'll be right here, waiting for you."

"Now who's quoting cheesy love songs?"

"Castle, I'm supposedly the girl here. I'm allowed – expected, even – to quote them!"

I take the time to stretch my limbs. I really can't believe this thing is as comfortable as an actual bed. After the stretching is done, I grab the cover and hide myself under it. The warmth of it combined with the sun is almost enough to lull me back to sleep, but Castle comes out before I manage to do so. I guess he expects for me to take the cover off, but I'm just too lazy to do it. I figure he'll eventually do it himself, so, no real hurry there.

"Kate? Did you fall back asleep?"

"Almost. I'm just too comfy here."

"Glad to hear it, but you need to eat. So, wakey wakey."

"I'm not a child!"

"Just sounded like a petulant one right there, Beckett."

Urgh! I hate it when he's the logical one! "Still doesn't mean I am! What did you bring me? I'm starving!"

"Since it's already after ten I figured you could keep it easy? I'll be starving by the time lunch comes around and I would very much like for us to share it… So, I made you some special a la Castle toast."

"And why is it that I'm scared to ask what's so special about them?"

"Got no idea what you're talking about. It's not as if I've ever fed you something disgusting!"

"Yeah, well, I did hear about something called a 'smorlette, so I do know all about your weird food concoctions."

"Just so you know, I've been forbidden to do them again. This is just some really good toast we invented when Alexis was a child. They only have butter and sugar."

"And what's so special about that?"

"We put the sugar over the butter when the toasts are only half way done, so we finish toasting the breads with the sugar on them. Thus, the sugar melts and makes this really yummy-crunchy layer over them."

"I give in, that does sound good. Coffee?"

"Right here. So, get out from the covers and give me my smile."

"Who says I owe you one?"

"I do!" Last night he admitted to not being able to deny me anything. Why would I act as if it was any different for me? So I simply pull the cover down and give him (who's the egotistical one now?) the sight of me stretching once again, with a happy smile on my face. And just because I can, I add a little purr, even if only for show. Sure enough, it works. I see him falter. "Easy there boy! We don't want you spilling our breakfast!"

He sits down across from me and puts a tray over my legs. There's only one mug there. "Ok, I love you and everything, but if you think I'm going to share my coffee with you, you really don't know me at all."

"I already had my breakfast. Like, three hours ago!"

"What? Why? How come you didn't wake me? And since when do I sleep more than you! I always picture you as a bear, hibernating or something."

"I usually am, but nature didn't seem to enjoy the sight of us, spooning out here."

"Meaning you like to sleep in the dark or you had to pee?"

He pouts. He actually pouts at that comment! "No. Meaning a frigging bird pooped on my face! As you can imagine, I had to run in side at get cleaned up, after which I realized I was starving. I came back outside to see if you wanted something, but you looked so peaceful that I just couldn't force myself to wake you. What are you laughing about?! It's not funny Kate! Being woken up by you, kissing me, or just woken up because it's time to do so, with my arms wrapped around you is the only way I want to wake up from now on. And trust me, being pooped on in the face by a pigeon is not on that list!"

"Castle, you have to admit it's hilarious!"

"No it's not!"

I try to school my features. He seems more upset than he should be, and I don't really want to make him mad. But it is hilarious! Focus Kate! "Ok, so, after being woken up in such a distasteful way, you came back, took a picture of yourself, changed my phone settings and had breakfast without me. All that in three hours? Wow. Your efficiency is outstanding Mr. Castle. You should consider a career in management."

"Actually, I started the outline for a fifth Nikki Heat book."

"What? I thought Frozen Heat was the last one…"

"Do you really think Black Pawn won't reconsider that if I ask them nicely? We're talking about my most successful series yet. Either way, I'm not ready to part with Nikki and Rook yet, so if they don't want more books then I'm taking my business elsewhere. We could actually make our own publishing company. I'd write and you'd proofread. I bet Alexis can take care of the rest."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"I thought you'd be happier at the perspective of another book. I understand you weren't flattered about it at first, but I just assumed you had grown to enjoy the attention…"

"Trust me Castle, I was flattered from day one, I was simply good at hiding it."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm not a cop right now. And truth be told, I haven't made a decision about it yet, so how am I supposed to inspire you if I no longer hold the job that first brought us together?"

"First of all, I've had enough inspiration since our first year. There have been some writer's block episodes since then, but they were mainly related to whatever was going on between us, in the personal level. Secondly, you inspire me with everything you do Kate, not just by being a cop. And last but not least, you being unemployed means I get more of you to myself, and I get to ask you questions related to cases or scenarios without needing to look for them over the Internet. I know there's still a lot to these characters Beckett, so I'll find a way to keep writing them until you ask me to stop. And even then, you'd have to ask really nicely because I truly love them…"

And with that, the conversation is ended. I grab my coffee and set to enjoy this great looking breakfast, seated next to Castle and overlooking the city we both love. All in all, a great way to start the day. Well, save from the bird poop over Castle's face. "By the way Castle. Did you scrub your face hard enough? Only God knows how many diseases those birds carry!"

"Ugh Beckett! Did you really need to bring that up!? I'm taking a shower!"

"Wait for me?"

"No, you don't deserve that! Stay here, finish your breakfast and enjoy the sun. After that, we have a dinner to plan." And he's off to take his shower.


	33. Hours 57, 58 and 59

Some of you guys complaint about not being able to read this chapter, so I'm re-posting!

To my amazing beta, THANK YOU! Hope you have some great holidays! And to the rest of the readres, It's really good to know you're still out there!

Just in case, this chapter's about what Castle did while Kate slept during their third morning together!

Hours 57, 58 and 59

I wake up slowly. Well, it's more like I wake up with a start, but I regain consciousness slowly. I'm not yet alert enough to understand what woke me, but an inquisitive mind like mine can't really wait too long to try to find out. My first real thought is 'Humph. Something feels odd.' Accompanied by 'something feels really great'. That one pretty close to 'I'm not in my bed and why the on earth is it so bright? Those damn black out curtains are no longer doing their job!'

As I slowly come back to myself I realize that it's so bright because we're outside. The we from that thought makes me realize that the thing that feels really good is none other than the amazing KB, completely asleep in my arms. And 'what the hell is that thing in my face?!' I bring a finger to try to figure it out but I soon realize just how big a mistake that was! Bird poop! The not so nice thing that woke me up is some dammed bird poop!

Crap!

Pun intended.

I disentangle myself from around Beckett as carefully as I can manage (no need for her to wake up with my face covered in bird shit, right?) As luck will have it-I guess being pooped on by a bird does bring you some of it- the amazing woman in my arms only stirs a little, mumbles something similar to Castle go back to sleep and falls deep asleep again. That was close! Without taking a second glance, I go straight to the bathroom. Getting cleaned up is top priority right now. I find some toilet paper and take a big chunk of the thing off my face. Once it seems safe enough, I open the hot water and finish cleaning it with lots and lots of soap. But nothing seems enough, so I decide that some shaving with warming foam is in order. Only after rinsing my face for what feels like the tenth time do I feel clean. I consider a shower, but given the fact that the last two showers were shared with NYPD's finest, I hold on to the hope that maybe we'll share one today, too.

I glance at my watch and I suddenly have a second rush of hateful feelings towards the bird responsible for my waking. At seven in the morning I'm pretty sure I should still be out there, enjoying the morning sun, and what's more important, the warm, human heat of my future wife. Not here, in front of the bathroom sink, with nothing to do but mourn my lack of sleep. Resigning myself to a long morning without Beckett, I pad towards the kitchen looking for some coffee. A good, rich African blend usually does wonders to help me bypass the fact that I should really be in bed-with or without Beckett in it.

This time is no exception. I still feel disappointed, but the first sips of caffeine allow me to put things into perspective. Some alone time would allow me to pack my bag for the Hamptons, make sure all my business is in order before we leave so I don't need to worry about that while we enjoy the summer, and I guess I could maybe even do some writing.

But first thing's first: I decide to tempt fate by going back outside only to find Beckett curled into herself. "I guess the morning air without your personal teddy bear is a bit chilly on you detective." I mumble.

Feeling sorry for her and suddenly hoping she gets a few more well-deserved hours of sleep, I grab a second blanket and slowly pull it over here. It seems to do the trick for not 10 seconds later she's relaxing again.

I take a few minutes, maybe a dozen of them or so, and before my wishful thinking wakes her, I go back inside. I mentally made a list of three things to do before she wakes up. I challenge myself to get at least two of them done. I start with the easiest one: packing a bag. I have most of the things I usually need, but just in case, I decide to take some more presentable outfits, hoping Kate will allow me to take her out some nights. I also pack the new swimming trunks Alexis bought for me during her last shopping spree and a few extra essentials, such as my Green Lantern t-shirts and my Batman PJ's… Though I hope I won't be using them much.

Confident that everything I need is packed, I close the zipper with a flourish and take another look at my watch. Only ten minutes of my alone time has been wasted packing, which means ten minutes gained with Beckett when she wakes up. One less useless thing to take care of when she joins the land of the living again.

What's next on the list? Making sure my business is in order. As I usually do at this time of the year, I email my accountant announcing I'm planning to stay away from the city for at least three months and reminding him that if anything should come up he's to call me, never before eleven and never after six. Then I email Gina, asking about the last draft I sent her and reminding her to send a readable copy to the Hamptons so Kate can have her own copy as soon as we get there. I then email Paula asking her not to bother me for the next three months, because we both know anything she might have to say to me can wait until bitter old autumn gets here. A few more emails and I'm ready to move to the next item on my 'To Do' list. Get some writing done. Easier said – or thought – than done.

I decide that a second visit to my sleeping beauty – whatever you do, don't let her hear you say that. And just in case, I repeat that thought as a mantra until I'm back outside looking down at her. She seems so peaceful; so at ease, that once again, after a few minutes I resist the temptation of joining her on the lounge chair because she still deserves many more hours of sleep. I guess I could set myself in the other one, but being in one alone is not as appealing as sharing hers. Nine year old as I am though, I can't really spend hours awake without thinking of a way to get on her nerves, even if just a little bit. And that's when I see it. Her phone is lying carelessly on the table. It's been a while since I last changed her settings so I decide some tuning up is in order. It takes me a few minutes to crack her code- apples… I should really ask her why she has my safe word as her phone's password. However, once I'm in I don't lose any time, don't want to be caught with my hand in the cookie jar you know?

I'm infantile but I'm not stupid…

I put my goofiest face on and take a picture to set as my new ID photo. I then make the risky decision of taking one of my bedroom – with the bed right in the middle – and place it as background image (wonder how long that one will last…). And last but not least, I change my ID ringtone. It takes me absolutely ages to think of a good, cheesy, embarrassing song, but I finally come up with a good one. I mean, is there a more predictable song than I just called to say I love you? I don't think so…I use all my ninja skills to go back outside and place the phone back on the table, but at easy reach. I figure if she's not up by ten I'll give her a nice, romantic wakeup call. I'm the perfect guy aren't I?

Ok Castle, leave the balcony. We all know your ninja skills aren't your forte. You're more of a Jedi-mind-playing-games kind of guy. This time though, I do look back. But who can blame me? She's just sleeping there, looking all peaceful, wearing a tiny smile that says she's a happier human being. And I'd like to think I had something to do with that. So, yeah, I spend an uncounted amount of time just looking at her and picturing us enjoying many mornings like this. With me waking up before her, trying mindlessly to entertain myself so she can rest some more.

As I go back inside, I ponder the idea of finally being allowed to smother her a bit. I know she won't allow for much of that, but knowing that I'll be there to make sure she gets at least three meals a day, take at least one day a week off (not for a lack of trying to get the entire weekend) and maybe even, if the planets are aligned, a few weeks a year to be spent sorely reading, sleeping, sun bathing and well… being in bed together.

Note to self: try to control these unthinkable thoughts or you're going to be in deep trouble. YOUR Jedi tricks aren't as half as good as HERS are…

Ok, so, bag, done. Emails, done. Wako staring and phone hacking, done. Only one thing left to do: write. Humph. There has to be something else, hopefully useful, that I can do right now… Let's be honest, who wants to write a book belonging to a series before the printing house confirms it's viability… That's settled. Cooking breakfast it is. I'm getting hungry as it is, and I bet Kate will be too when she wakes up. Now, what can I cook that will keep in case she takes longer than expected (thus allowing me to premier my new self-set ringtone!)?

I open the pastry and find yesterdays bread. Some butter in the fridge – no jam, no syrup, no Nutella – we really need to go shopping before we leave for the Hamptons. Coming back to an empty kitchen is no fun at all. Trust me, I've been there. Without giving it a second thought, I start slicing the bread the way I do when I make Alexis and I special toasts. I know for a fact that Beckett would never indulge in something as fattening as bread with butter and sugar, but as soon as she tries these ones she'll probably get addicted as Little Me used to be, and calories be damned.

Once breakfast is done – and my half is consumed – I decide that maybe doing some writing isn't such a bad idea. I bet Beckett, and all the women in my life for that matter, would like some proof of my ability to write about Nikki and Rook without my daily visits to the precinct. So, what better time than now to start?

I set myself an easy goal: plan the basic outline, get some ideas for the murder and maybe some alternative story lines for the main characters. Nothing too specific, just a string of thoughts that can easily later – when you're an as skilled and avid writer as yours truly – be turned into a book. As I said before, easier said than done. But eventually my mind gets going and before I know it, it's already ten. Which means, it's already time to call Beckett. Even if it's just to tell her that I love her.


	34. Hour 60

WOW to the new followers, thanks to my beta and for all the nice reviews. It`s nice to know you guys are out there!

ps: any XFiles fan reading this? Head to twitter, we want to get greenlight for #XF3!

**Hour 60**

Ok, so leaving her outside while coming here to take a shower's probably the hardest thing I've done, after allowing Alexis to go to her first sleep over. Trust me, when you become a parent you'll understand. Before that happens, never be too quick to judge.

I'll admit to it; I did have a reason behind leaving. I kind wanted to see if she'd follow. My best guess is no, for I've been in this shower for about 5 minutes and she still hasn't come in. So much for a nice good morning shower together.

By minute 7, thank you God, Beckett seems to understand my challenge and opens the bathroom door. Oddly enough though, she doesn't come in. Instead, I smell tooth paste, which tells me she's here to brush her teeth. And after the few kisses we shared at the balcony, morning breath is not her concern. Besides, Beckett-tasting-coffee is my new favourite label.

"Don't think I didn't want to join you or that your message didn't come through loud and clear. But I promised myself I was only going to have my wicked way with you tonight. And going in there, feeling a hell of a lot better than I did yesterday, would have made it impossible for me not to ravish you." She says.

"And that would have been wrong, why?"

"Because as much as I want you inside of me right now, I need you at your sharpest tonight, to make sure the guys don't kill each other. Though that could be a good motivation for you to behave…"

"And you clearly didn't think it through. How do you expect me to be at my very best, great host, trusting friend to Ryan and Esposito knowing that after they leave I'll get to have you in my bed."

"Easy. If you don't try, and by try I mean manage, your very best, then you'll be seeing me leave right after the guys, only to see me again while you pick me up to go to the Hamptons."

"And once again, you black mail me. So not fair Kate. So not fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"Fine, have it your way. But if I manage my best and the guys still try to kill each other, I'm handcuffing you to my bed until I'm done with you."

"Funny. Usually a threat makes the threatened fear the punishment. I don't see how being handcuffed to your bed has a downside for me…"

And with that, I leave the confinement of the shower stall and surprise her from behind. I place a searing open mouthed kiss to the back of her neck and I suck her tender skin until I hear her moan. I press her behind to my front and with the darkest voice I can muster I say: "And once again Ms Beckett, you're not playing fair. If you weren't planning on joining me in my morning ritual, you could have at least allowed me to enjoy a nice, long, warm shower instead of forcing me to a damn cold one."

She turns around, places both hands around my face for leverage and, bringing her lips dangerously close to my ear, she says: "And you better use a cold shower and nothing else Mr. Castle, because I expect you to be at your very best in the bedroom after being your very best in the dining room."

And with that, I'm left alone to resume my shower. Needless to say the second part of it wasn't as enjoyable as the first.

When I'm done, I go to the bedroom, find some jeans and a white button up and go searching for my temptress tease. I find her in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess of our separated breakfast. As I was yesterday morning, I'm once again drawn to her by her chosen wardrobe: I might be wrong, but I'm fairly certain the shirt she's wearing is one of my many dress ones. For the second time this morning, I decide playing with fire is in order and I place myself behind her. If you ask me, we fit from behind just as nicely as we do when hugging up front. "Shall we go shopping for more of these shirts? If we're going to be using two of them a day instead of one, we're going to run out pretty soon…"

"Is that a complaint Castle? And whatever happened to 'what's yours is mine'?"

"Trust me, that's so not a complaint! I'm just acknowledging an issue that might soon arise, meaning the lack of clean clothes. And although you'll still have plenty of things to wear, for you still have all of yours, I'm not sure the rest of the world would enjoy the sight of me shirtless."

"I beg to differ. The female population, and half of the male too, for that matter, would highly appreciate it, though I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. So why don't you make yourself useful, grab the ones that are ready to be cleaned and start the washing machine? That way we can have them ironed before we leave for the Hamptons and we don't have to worry about them when we return?"

"You mean to say you're going to iron my shirts? The drycleaners usually take care of that."

"I mean to say we can do it together. No need to pay for something when we have the time to do it ourselves. And cooking for tonight really shouldn't take that much time, right? You are, after all, a seasoned chef."

I turn her around and lean in to give her a peck on the lips. "Thank you. No one besides my mother and daughter have ever even suggested helping me do something as domestic as ironing. I love the dichotomy of sexy Beckett with tender Kate. You're going to be an amazing mother one day."

"One day. Lets go one step at a time. Dating, engaged, married, pregnant. Ok?"

"That doesn't mean we can't do a lot of practicing right?"

"Right. Hopefully, you'll behave well enough so we can start tonight…"

Wearing my most endearing it-wasn't-me face, I give her another innocent kiss and go to collect those t-shirts. Even threatened with sex-withholding, I'm not letting the chance to see Kate ironing my button downs wearing one of them herself pass.

Today is going to be a great day.


	35. Hour 61

Thanks for reading and sorry for the wait!

Hour 61

When Castle leaves me at the sink to go get the dirty button ups, I get lost inside my head. I always knew his ex-wives weren't good enough for him. The real Rick, the father, the friend, the partner, the son, deserves someone so much better than Meredith and Gina. And I have to ask myself, am I better than them? Can I be the open, mindful, honest companion he needs me to be? For the first time in years I think I can. I mean, I think I can be good enough to deserve such an amazing man. Before my mother's murder I used to day-dream for hours about whom I would marry, and about how good we'd be together. But when my life went down the hill, so did my dreams of a perfect family, with 2.3 kids, a dog and a picket fence. Until Castle came along. Well, until I admitted to myself that Castle could be the man in that picture. It took me a while to see it, he was after all a playboy when we first met. But when I finally found the courage to admit that he was here to stay and mine to claim whenever I was ready, I spent hours daydreaming about us. Even more so after Kevin's wedding and at least once a day after I told Lanie the whole truth.

So, am I better than his ex-wives? Yes. Am I the best for him? I don't know. I've been asking myself that question for the past 60 hours but the truth is? It's not for me to decide. And I'm forever thankful for that little fact. It's Castle's choice, and I'm too selfish to make him question that. Because, you see… even if I'm not good enough for him, I know he's all I need. Being in his arms gives me a peacefulness I hadn't felt in years. To know that I can finally reach for him and just kiss him, or hug him or hold his hand is all I want right know. I don't care about work, I don't care about the press finding out nor do I care about people at the precinct collecting their earnings for the long time running bet. I'm not even worried about the fact that in less than 24 hours I'll be starting my first summer with his daughter and mother. I've actually considered inviting my dad and the guys out there to spend the fourth of July or even a weekend there. It's like there's a whole new me and it's all because of Castle, so why would I ever give him the idea to question my worthiness?

"Stop thinking so loudly, it's making me lose my focus."

"And what were you focusing in Castle?"

"Uhm, that's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Then I shall go back to my deep thinking."

"Your ass."

"What?"

"Your ass. I was focusing on it."

"Hump, don't sugar coat it for my benefit…"

"Didn't know I had the need to do so… Thought I was finally allowed to ogle you."

"Yeah, well, there's no need for you to be so overt about it…"

"I was using my best jedi powers, memorizing it for, you know, future reference in case my imagination is needed for it's recollection… but your thoughts were kind of distracting."

"Ok, first and foremost, you're a perv. Secondly, why would you need to remember how it looks like when you'll eventually have a free pass to access it whenever you want to. And thirdly, your forwardness doesn't mean I'm sharing them with you!"

"So I get a free pass to your ass but not to your mind? So not cool Beckett! And to answer your first question, I might need the image while on a boring meeting with Black Pawns, or during a book signing tour or whenever I get too much into you that you need to run away and hide at your apartment, leaving my lonely and bored and cold without you."

"And your corniness won't give you a free pass to my mind either. Though I must admit I don't particularly appreciate the fact that you take for granted the fact that I won't be joining you during your book tours."

"Will you?"

"I might do so if you play your cards right. I won't always be able to do so, for as I might eventually have a real job once again, but I'd like to keep that possibility open you know…"

"That's more than good enough for me. Now, what were you thinking about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Hey! You're supposed to show me yours after I show you mine!"

"Only if we agree to that…"

"Oh, please Beckett! What were you thinking about?!"

"Do you remember how your chuckle woke me yesterday, and you told me the reason behind it was not important?"

"Yes. And you convinced me into telling you and once I did you told me I should have tried harder."

"There's your answer to why I won't share my thought with you. They're really not important." He seems doubtful, but luckily, lets it go. "So… how long until the machine's done?"

"An hour or so with the drier."

"Do we need to be here to change them from one machine to the other?"

"Nop, it's an all in one kind of thing."

"Good. So we can go to the grocery store a few blocks down, get some food for tonight, do the ironing, lunch and the do some cooking?"

"Sound like a plan, but since we're out, we should also consider buying some extra things. We're out of almost everything and I hate coming back from the Hamptons to an empty pantry…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean…"

"Kate, you've never had a full one!"

"That doesn't mean I don't hate having an empty one!"

"Can I have a free pass that allows me to make sure you always have the basics available? If only to make sure we always have breakfast food and popcorn."

"Really? You want a pass to stock my pantry and you call popcorn a basic?"

"Yeah, for all the nights in, enjoying a movie and a cuddle in that comfortable couch of yours."

"Really? You, Richard Castle, playboy extraordinaire, are planning on sharing a lot of nights in spent just cuddling in my couch?"

"First of all, I'm not as much of a playboy as you might think. I learned the lesson of how expensive that image can be after Meredith and Gina. Secondly, I can't really picture you allowing me to wine and dine you every single night, and even if you agree to it, you'd probably expect me to let you to pay for half. And trust me, there's no way José I'm gonna be known around town as the man who doesn't pay for the food while on a date. And thirdly, I assumed you'd like for us to spend some time at your place instead of always being here, surrounded by my mother and teenager kid…"

"Ok, point made. You're allowed to stock my pantry. Oh, and Castle? Pancakes ingredients are basics. So is the wiped cream."

"Duly noted. Now, are you done with the unrequited task of cleaning my kitchen?"

"If you're allowed to buy me food, I'm allowed to wash some dishes. Besides, I like a clean working space if I'm planning a nice dinner with friends. Now, what should we buy? Do we need to make a list of things to get?"

"I was thinking homemade pizza. I figured we know their favorites, so that should be fun enough to make and also to share over a not so funny conversation…"

"I like the way your mind works. Now, let's go to the store."

I make sure I have my cell and my wallet with me, wait for him to get his and, once we're outside the loft door, I grab his hand in mine. I won't always allow PDA, even less around the precinct, but I'm feeling lighthearted and the feeling of our fingers interlocked makes me lighthearted. If his smile is any indication, he seems to be enjoying it too. I can so get used to this!


	36. hour 62

Is it monday yet?!

Hour 61

Ok, so maybe coming to the grocery store with Castle wasn't my smartest idea ever. He definitely has an uncommon idea of what's needed for a pizza night with friends. I mean, I know Ryan and Jenny are all for veggie pizza and Espo and Lanie are meat lovers and yeah, I favor the bacon and extra cheese idea, but that should be it right? But nothing is ever enough with this man! He actually wants to do a chocolate pizza just in case someone is craving dessert for dinner. He should say in case he's craving dessert because really, chocolate pizza? Mushrooms, maybe. eggs, anchovies, pepperoni, four different cheeses, fine. But Toblerone and M&M's is way too much. Even for Castle.

"Rick, please, can you focus? If you want chocolate for dessert, that's fine by me, but no one wants it in their pizza. I don't care what you saw in a Brazilian food web site! Despite what the incredible amount of Chinese and Mexican food chains say about us, we do live in America and today is not a day to get creative! We can try in the Hamptons. Please, behave today and maybe then we can get creative when the guys leave."

"Is that a promise Beckett?"

With my sexiest face plastered, I lean so close we're sharing a breath "Yeah"

"Yay! I've always wanted to try chocolate pizza but mother and Alexis won't let me do it!"

"Really? I promise you a night of wild, creative sex and all you're focused on your crazy chocolate pizza?"

"Uhm...I guess you could say I'm a bit distracted right now, because you see, this extremely sexy woman promised me the greatest night of my life as long as I behave tonight at a dinner in my place with our friends and I'm well, kind of a little off you know..."

"Good answer Mr. Castle. Now please, can we focus on filling this shopping cart with ingredients for tonight and some non perishable ingredients for our return so we can go back to the loft?"

"Why? I thought we had all day for this. After all, we're both packed for tomorrow, and trust me Kate, I'm faster than what you might think at the whole homemade pizza thing..."

"Yeah, it's not that, uhm...ok, please don't turn this into something bigger than it actually is, but uhm, maybe I'm not as ready for this-us- going public as I told you yesterday..."

"But why? What did I do? Is it my childish creativity with food, because I assure you we can stick to regular if that's what you want…"

"No Castle! It's not that! Your whole nine years old in a sugar rush persona is one I've learned to live with."

"Then what is it? Something must have happened to make you go off like that..."

"Uhm...yeah...that woman is looking at me as if I was some sort of two headed dragon and I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable by it..."

"Oh but that's fixable..." He turns around, walk a few steps to what that woman is and says: "Excuse me... but your staring seems to be bordering my girlfriend, so could you please refrain from doing so...We are a happy couple, we're in love and we'd like to keep it to ourselves for a bit...so, uhm could you please just go on with your shopping and let us go back to ours?" He waits until she nods and ads "Thank you." With that, he turns around and placing an arm around me, holds me an turns me around as if nothing had happened...

"Rick! You can't go around doing that with every single person who notices us!"

"My fame never bothered you before, I mean, yeah it frustrated you but you never tried to hide me..."

"It wasn't so much about hiding you but about protecting this little word we've created. I know I said I wouldn't mind the press finding out about us but at the same time, I really want for us to stay an us for a bit longer...you know, it feels just too nice to have it paparazzi-ed by the media you know..."

"Yah, I know... and I must admit, she was staring at us in a really creepy way...I'm sorry by the way..."

"For what?

"For reacting like that...I should know better by now. I shouldn't have confronted her like that..."

"Hey, I thought you were great. I know you just tried to pull a Notting Hill right there, and I can't help loving you all the more for it. But you're right, you should try to avoid it from now on."

"Yeah, I can live with that. I love you Kate."

"Always Rick. Always."

"Ok, if chocolate pizza is off, can we get some chocola-tty dessert? And maybe some chocolate syrup for right after the coffee and you know, we're alone?"

And just like that, the banter is back... "Uhm Ricky...don't worry...I'm pretty sure I can stand all your manly man odors, no need to hide them behind chocolate. Besides, if we need help during our first time then there must be something really wrong with us..." With nothing left to say, I turn my face to the side, lean closer, lift up and kiss him. Ok, so maybe coming to the store wasn't so bad...any given chance to tease this man is suddenly worth it.

The rest of our trip to the grocery store goes by rather smoothly. I end up giving in with a lot of things, because, I mean really, who needs 8 ice-cream flavors and not one but three cans of wiped cream? But after all, we're shopping for his house, not mine. And he seems to be buying a lot of things that I would buy, especially in the cereal department, because, really, can you picture him eating All Brain? Neither can I.

"What shampoo do you usually buy?"

"Hump?"

"Keep up Beckett! I knew you were distracted! What shampoo do you want?"

"Why do I need a shampoo? I've got my own in my bag."

"I know you do. But I was thinking it might be wise for you to keep some toiletries beyond you toothbrush in case we have some unplanned sleepovers…"

"And your planning on us having plenty of them aren't you?"

"I might be yeah…I that all right?"

"Yeah Rick, it is." I go around him, pick my shampoo and place it in the cart, next to his shaving cream. "I see you gave up the warming shaving cream…"

"Yeah…the whole owner dying got me thinking…"

"I bet it did. So, do we need anything else or can we pay this so we can go back?"

"Anxious?"

"A bit… I can't shake the feeling that we should have a game plan or something…"

"Don't worry, we'll make one! C'mon, lets wrap this up so we can think things over at the loft."

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet Miss Beckett. I plan on thoroughly distracting you, and no weapon is banned if we can't come up with a game plan you're comfortable with!" He winks at me and pushes me to the register. This will be an interesting day…


	37. Hour 63

I'd like to say this will be done before Monday, but who am I kidding… I've had a couple of tough health related weeks, and with my beta away I've fallen behind. But I promise that one way or another, I will end this story! Hope you enjoy!

**Hour 63**

We ended up buying more things than I'd predicted, so I can't hold her hand during the walk back to the loft. This forces me to simply keep running into her left side just to keep some form of physical contact with her. I wonder how long it's going to take her to realize what I'm doing.

"Castle. Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop running into me! It's growing old really fast!"

"But I can't grab your hand with all this bags we're carrying!"

"Yeah, well, I told you we didn't need all this ice-cream, dry breakfast ingredients, and twice the amount of flour needed, which you decided to buy in case we suddenly decide to part take in a food war. Which you will probably instigate now that we actually have enough food to have one."

"I just didn't want us to need to go out again in case something happened with the pizzas! As far as I know, we can get thoroughly distracted necking on my couch, hence the need for a plan B."

"Well, if things actually got to that point, trust me, plan B would be calling the pizza guy or something. There wouldn't enough time to do everything twice. And you didn't bring that much cheese. So just, walk straight, allow us to get there today instead of tomorrow and then, if you're nice, we can hold hands for the what, fifteen minutes we haven't been able to do so now. How does that sound?"

"Not good enough, but I guess it'll have to do, since it's all you're offering…"

"Well, it's either that or you still stop pushing me and we don't hold hands, which would turn something that could be a win-win situation into a win-loose one… Your choice…"

"The only thing that would make the whole straight-hence-fast-walking-to-then-be-allowed-to-hold-hands-for-fifteen-minutes-while-we're-at-the-loft a win-win situation would be if you also take your pants off while we're doing it."

"What? How did we get from hand holding to pants off?"

"Well… You know how our first three days together were supposed to be a 72 hours optional festival?"

"Yeah…"

"I figured, if we're going to the Hamptons tomorrow, to share a house with my mother and my only child, I believe it's safe to assume that our festival will only last tonight before we need to get yet another rain-check. And you know, you're already wearing one of my T-Shirts, so you being pant-less would only provide me with an eye full of a lot of nice, smooth, sexy Beckett skin. Not enough to make me truly happy, but enough to keep me content."

"Hump. I guess that, when you put it like that a pant-less afternoon could be a nice way to compensate for not being able to have our so thoroughly deserved festival…One condition, well, besides fro the walking straight one. You gotta be shirtless."

"Uhm… that doesn't really seem fair you know, it feels like a tit for tat kind of thing when it should be tit for tit…but it can be arranged. When it comes to it, I have no problem with walking around my house flaunting my bod." I really don't see the down side of this. Walking around half naked with an equally undressed Kate Beckett? Yeah, I can totally walk straight keeping that image in mind. "Though, I'm putting on an apron for the sauce stirring part of the evening." And she laughs. Whole heartedly. And that's all I ask for. Even if it was just for that smile, I'd walk straight for all eternity.

By the time we reach the loft, her laugh isn't enough anymore. My mind conjured all these images of Beckett's leg and I just need to get those pants off her. Right this very moment. The way I fumble with the elevator button and seconds later with the keys is a tale enough. No poker face would hide the excitement I feel right now.

"Breath Castle. My showing a lot of legs is going to be kind of useless if you pass out before I actually unbutton my jeans!"

And I do as I'm told. It must be a first. And she reads my mind: "wow, had I know that's all it took to get you to listen to me, I would have promised that way sooner."

"Very funny."

"I thought so too…glad to see we share our sense of humor…"

We both put our bags down and we begin the most stupid staring contest ever…"Uhm… this isn't how I pictured this…" I'm all flustered and it's stupid. We've seen each other half naked yesterday night. So why does it feel so awkward now? "Oh… uhm, yeah, so…"

"For a man who makes his living with words you sure have a hard time finding them when you need them the most."

"It's just… you know, we don't need to do this if you don't want to…"

She goes around the kitchen island to were I'm standing, holds my hands, and leaning close to my ear, in the most amazing bedroom voice I've ever heard, she says: "oh, but you see Rick, I want to. I promise you some hand holding and a light clothed afternoon, and I plan to go through with both of those promises. Now, are you willing to do the same?"

I lift her hand to my lips and without breaking eye contact I say: "trust me Kate, from now on, and for as long as I live, I have every intention of keeping each and every single one of the promises I ever make you. Unless we go back to the precinct. If you ever go back to the force, I can only promise to keep my promises unless I need to break them to keep you safe."

"Castle? You're babbling." Without another word- but with a lot of sexy glances directed my way- she leads us both to my bedroom, were she slowly takes my button up off me. Not an easy thing to do, considering she won't let go of my hand. But I won't complaint. I realize how good she's at keeping promises when she only lets go of my right hand after grabbing my by now shirtless left one. My heart grow even fonder at that. When she's done, she stays still, watching me intently, as if waiting for something. She seems to notice my inability cooperate and sighs. "Do I need to do ALL the work here Castle?" Luckily I catch up before it's too late. I stop her just as she's about to unbutton her jeans and I do it myself. Now getting the zipper down is a bit trickier than I had anticipated, but I eventually get it done. Now all I need to do is get her shoes off so I can get the trousers out of my way. Hump. Always the mind reader, she sees my problem and instead of getting them off just by using her own feet, she leads me to the bed, were she proceeds to seat down and only let's go of my hand to clasp both of them around my neck. I look at her questioningly and she dares me by rising an eyebrow. "You gotta a problem with this arrangement Mr. Castle?"

"Nop, none whatsoever." I take her shoes off one at the time and she then stands up, bringing myself with her. I assumed she was going to grab one of my hands again but she surprises me by leaning in and kissing me. It's nice, sort of chaste and sweet. And it's long. I mean, really long. I can't really help myself as I put my own arms around her. God how I love this woman. Eventually, our need for air breaks up the kiss, but that's just fine, cause I get to slide the jeans off her beautiful legs. As expected, I take my time to reverently kiss them here and there. No real pattern, just a lot of love. When I reach her feet, she holds herself up with her hands in my shoulders and steps out of them. I look up only to see her hiding away from me, suddenly shy. "You do know I've already seen you naked right?"

"Yeah…it just seems different out here, in broad light…"

"When we showered together it was morning…but anyhow, you have nothing to be shy about Beckett. I love you, every single inch of you is to me the most appealing thing I've ever set my eyes on. So trust me, you can be the confident- bad ass Kate Beckett you were just minutes ago, for I am completely at your mercy."

And just in case, and because I can, I kiss her again.

"So…you hang the laundry for it to dry while I sort the groceries out?"

"Sound like a plan."

"Good." And just like that, our evening as a shirtless man and a jean-less woman begins. This is going to be so much fun!


	38. Hour 64

Twice in two days! Yay! Hope you enjoy and if you get a chance, reviews are most welcomed!

**Hour 64**

Once I'm done hanging his shirts to allow them to dry a bit more before we iron them, I go back to the kitchen, looking for him. "Hey. What are you doing? I thought you were going to put the groceries away."

"And I did. I just left outside the things we'll be using right away… The pizza dough gets better if allowed to rest, so I figured I could work on that while you took care of making the macaroni and cheese we brought for lunch."

"Sounds good. And after that, we'll take care of the shirts."

"Yeah. About that. We don't really need to do that today…"

"If they were my shirts, would you help me iron them."

"Yeah, of course. You know I would Kate…"

"Then issue resolved. Castle, I love you as much as you seem to love me, so you'd better get used to this being a two way relationship. I know it hasn't always been like that, I mean, after all, I do owe you like about a hundred coffees, but I'm working on it. And not because I have to, not because it's what I'm expected to do but because I want to do so. So please, get that engraved in that thick mind of yours. There's nothing you'd done for me that I wouldn't do for you. And there's nothing you've pictured us doing that I haven't dreamed of myself. You're not the only one who's envisioned us together. Always Rick."

"Even in bed detective?"

"What?"

"I've thought about a lot of things you and I could do in a bed. Have you thought about them too?"

"Trust me Castle. If you thought about it, I've dreamed about it. I've been wanting to get you on a bed for the past four years. I thought about pretty much every scenario you can think about. Tender, passionate, angry, make up, missionary, doggy, with cuffs, blind folded, with lace, without it, slow, fast, loud, muffled, in the shower, on the couch, on the floor, at the stairs, in my car, in your car, at the beach, at the precinct, in the middle of nowhere, in LA, after a fancy party, after a night out at the Old Haunt, before you going to a meeting, after rescuing you from one, and the list goes on and on. You name it, I've pictured."

"Argh! Beckett! So not fair! You can't do that to me! I mean, not that I haven't thought about all those scenarios too, but to hear you mention them and not being able to act on them? That's just too much…"

"Don't worry Castle. We're only a few hours away from the last first night of our lives…"

"I love it when you talk about us taking for granted that we'll make it." Simultaneously, we make the unspoken decision to lean closer to one another, until we can wrap ourselves in a hug. A tight one. I'm amazed by the ability we have for turning from slightly (or fully) aroused to needing the comforting feeling of a simple touch. All those amazing feelings talking about scenarios had arisen are suddenly the farthest thing on my mind.

"The thing is Rick, if we don't make it, I won't make it at all. I've told you before, I'm a one and done kind of girl and you're my one in six billion…"

"Ha! You just quoted Mulder to me! Though it used to be only five. So cool, I feel even more important knowing that even when there's six billion people out there, we've been blessed enough to have found each other…"

"I know what you mean, I feel the same way." Uhm. This feels so nice. Holding him, being held by him, is my new favorite place in the world. Wherever his arms are, that's where I want to be. The fact that his shirtless is an amazing bonus. "I'm not sure the Hamptons is going to work…"

"What? Why not? We have to go! Alexis would rip our heads off if we don't show up!"

"Relax Rick! I just meant that this feels so nice, being in your arms, with my head to your chest is just so compelling, that I can't picture myself not being draped around you every time we're in the same room. And knowing you, you're going to be shirtless for the most part of the next few weeks. And I doubt Alexis would appreciate having me all over her father as some kind of groupie…"

"Well, for what is worth, I wouldn't mind having you all wrapped around my like some sort of groupie. As long as you're the unbalanced fan, I'm more than willing to let you get all around me. "

"I'm still pretty sure Alexis wouldn't appreciate it..."

"Yeah, you're right...I guess that just means will need to take advantage of today to get the edge of the need off, if that's at all possible..."

"I'm pretty sure it won't be enough, but we can try right?"

"Won't hear me complaining..." No more words needed, we stay like that for a while, until my hands get restless. "Kate, don't get me wrong but that thing you're doing with tour hands?"

"What about it Castle?"

"So not good for keeping me in check, so you better stop doing it!"

"Spoil sports!"

"Tease!'

"Sure, fine, whatever!"

We reluctantly part our ways and I turn around so I can start forming the pizza dough ready. Beckett in the other hand takes a few moments to compose herself. I stop myself from teasing her, but I can't really stop the grin from forming.

"Oh don't be so smug Castle, it's not flattening!"

"Oh but seeing your need to take a breather is!" She humps louder than needed but doesn't admonishes me again.

"What pan should I use for the macs?"

"Uhm, pick whichever one makes you comfortable...we don't need that much sauce so there's no need to save any. And we can always wash it..."

"Ok."

We remind silent for a while, each lost in thought. It's a comfortable silence and I can't avoid the rush of happiness that goes through me. Feeling so content with each other, simply sharing such a domestic chore as cooking makes me the happiest man in the world.


	39. Hour 65

Great news! My beta stanathan is back! Yay! Great news: After the Storm! (there are some truly amazing clips for it in YouTube...) I´ll get the next one out as soon as I can. Ideas, reviews and follows are greately loved!

Pd: still not mine... dang!

**Hour 65**

After that last hug, we avoid any form of physical contact for efficiency reasons. Apparently, being half naked is fulfilling but distracting as hell. Who knew, right? I risk a sidelong glance to see were Kate is and I find her lost in thought.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you really that worried about tonight? I mean, do you think we might be making a mistake by forcing the guys to confront each other before they are ready to do so?"

"It might be, but I can't just leave for the summer without at least trying to get them talking to each other! It's my fault, you know? I did this to our team and I owe it to the four of us to at least try to fix it…I asked them both to do something, without considering the fact that they both have different ways of showing their loyalty. They both acted with my best interest in mind, but they luckily had different ideas of what's best for me. I needed Espo to go with me to find Maddox, but if it wasn't for Ryan, I wouldn't be here now. I'd be more like a meatball on the street." And she chuckles at the thought.

"Don't do that Kate, don't joke about it. Your possible death is not something to be minimized, or laughed about. You are such a big part of my life that I fear for what your death might cause to my heart. I mean it Beckett: my life without you won't be a life at all. Seeing what living by your side entails, living without you would only be a shadow of a life, it would only turn me into a house of mirrors reflecting myself, so please, don't take the eventual matter of your death so lightly."

"I'm sorry Rick. Please believe me when I say, I would never do you any harm…" And she laughs so I groan

"Beckett!"

And she laughs again, which only helps to infuriate me even more. When I pictured this relationship in my head, I never saw myself as the grownup in any conversation.

"I'm sorry Castle. It's just that seeing you so sombre, so pessimistic is so out of character for you that I can't help feeling this is all a joke. What do you want me to say Rick? That I value my life? The fact that I'm here, with you and not out there, chasing Maddox and the Dragon should be proof enough that I'm here for good and that I have no intention of sharing any less than always with you Ok?" If her hands on my face is any sign, she expects for me to nod. So I do, and she leans closer and gives me an innocent peck on the lips while I surreptitiously place my arms around her. Great, so we lasted fifteen minutes without touching each other. She might have been right. The Hamptons won't work.

"I love you."

"Good. Cause I love you too Rick and you're stuck with me, partner. So can we please, please, remember that we love each other, that we're here to stay, that no one has a death wish and that we've both dived in with only the image of resurfacing together in mind? We're so good at bantering and bickering that I'd hate to see us loosing that."

"Yeah, we can do that. I'd love that actually…"

She kisses me again and turns around to leave the confinement of my arms and I'm sure I hear her say something about deciding to be a grown up man. I can't help myself, I need to say something: "What was that, Detective?"

"I said you have really bad timing for finally becoming a gown up man. Now can we please go back to cooking?"

I let her go, turn off her pan and place a mantel over the already done pizza dough. Then I go back to where she's standing – right where I left her – and once again snake my arms around her. "In a while. For now, I want us to pretend that we're a couple of love sick teenagers and just neck for like, an hour. Can we do that? Please?" I give her my best puppy look to seal the deal. It seems to do the trick, for she just grabs my hand, leads me to the couch and pushes my down. A second later, she's straddling me, arms around my neck, and leans down to kiss me. And God it feels good. Her tongue asks for permission to enter my mouth and I immediately grant it. Because, really, who could deny this woman anything? Why haven't we been doing this all day? The guys wouldn't mind if we bought Chinese, right? And her arms around my torso, my hands over her bare legs is almost too much. Having such an amazing reminder of what we'll be sharing later tonight, once the door to the loft closes pushes me into wanting to plan things. I mean, I know how important tonight is for Kate and I don't want to drag her to the Hamptons tomorrow unless she knows for sure the kids would be alright. God! This being the grown up thing is way harder that I'd anticipated. "Kate-"

"Not now Castle!" She nips at my lips. Who knew butterfly kisses could feel this great. FOCUS Castle! "I thought this was want you wanted, writer boy. What's wrong? Kissing me has rendered you brainless?"

"Uh? Yeah. Sort of. Small sentences for a while."

Eskimo kisses. Really? I'm being distracted by her nose rubbing mine? That's it, I' m doomed. "That's all very flattering Mr. Castle, but can we go back to the task at hand? You can't really kiss me like that for about five minutes and then expect me to let go."

"Trust me Beckett. This is a onetime only thing. But seeing how good we are at JUST kissing, I can't help wondering how good we'll be once the guys leave. And I don't want to risk us being in a foul mood after that door closes. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know. What I don't understand is how on earth you can focus in here" She taps my head "Considering what was going on here." And she kisses me again. This time, I allow for the kiss to deepen. I mean, I love the guys and all, but I'm a man after all. And I can't be expected to think that far ahead when I have such an amazing woman straddling me.

"Argh! Dammit Castle! Did you really need to do that?"

"What? What did I do? Your hands have been roaming for the last hour, you can't expect mine to do anything but retaliate!" As if to prove my point, I smoothly run my hand under her shirt, all over her beautifully naked back. "Oh, braless Miss Beckett?"

"Yeah. Can't believe it took you so long to notice."

"I blame the shirt for it. But trust me. It seems we'll need to go shopping after all. If you're going to go around wearing nothing but my shirt, we're going to need some thinner ones…"

"Whatever suits you writer boy. All I want to know is: should I be worried about your braless-Beckett-radar being off?"

"Oh no Miss Beckett, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. From now on, I pretend to be awake when you get dress, because seeing you get into one of my t-shirts is as exciting as seeing you getting out of one will be."

"But if you're always UP when I get dressed, I would never leave the bedroom…"

"And what, my dear, is the downside of that?"

"Don't 'dear me' Castle. Anyway, I'm mad at you."

"What? Why?"

"Because here I was, being ravaged my this ruggedly handsome man I've been trying to take to my bed for the longest of times and you have to go and mention the guys. It's like mentioning your mother while in bed."

"Hey! Don't you ever do that! Nothing compares to you bringing my mother up!"

"Whatever you say. Either way, between the boys and your mother, the mood is ruined so we might as well start planning."

"Fine, but can we stay like this?"

"Yeah, we can definitely stay like this."


	40. Hour 66

**Sorry for the wait, but the amazingness of Mr Marlow and Co. made me loose my mojo... Hope you enjoy and a special thank you to my beta and to all those who review!**

**Hour 66**

"Ok, so we've already determined that we can't decide who's arriving first without being evident about a plan. But, we agree that, no matter who gets here first, we tell either of them that the other is coming and that we're all going to talk, each one of us with their love interest as a buffer." Castle says.

"Right. Ryan has Jenny, Espo has Lanie and we have each other."

"Yeah. Unless you have someone else you'd rather have as a punching bag?"

"Nope, you'll do just fine. Nice, broad expanse of manly man package to get my frustration in place."

"Should I wear some sort of padded clothes underneath my shirt in case you get all rough with me?"

"Nah… It wouldn't do you much good. I figure if we're going to be seated a knee cup would suit you better."

"Haha, very funny."

"Don't worry Castle, I'm not planning on sending you to the hospital tonight. At least not for using you as a punching bag…"

"Good to hear. Feel free to send me there for any non-violence-related reason…"

"Do you think we should give Jenny a fair warning? We did tell Lanie what we're planning…"

"You're right, we should call her to warn her! Why don't you do it? She'll be less scared to be hearing from you. You know, girl bonding thingy."

"Really? You gonna go with that? Girl bonding thingy? What's that even supposed to mean?"

"You know, she's a girl, you're a girl, meddling with someone else's lives… both trying to fix a man's problem… girl thingy!"

"And once again Castle, for a man who plans on finding our family with words, you really suck at finding them when you need them…"

"Sure, fine, whatever. You get your phone while I go… uhm" He looks to the kitchen. God, he's actually dreading I'll force him to talk to Jenny. So much for a usable punching bag. He'll probably poop in his pants before round one. "Finish that mac and cheese you left unattended."

"Do I need to remind you who made me leave them unattended?!"

"Oh no, you're not going to blame me for the fact that your sexiness is way too much for a man to handle…"

"Nice save stud. Now go to the safetiness of your kitchen while I make this dreadful call."

"Will do. And Kate? You have nothing to worry about. I can't think of a single thing you wouldn't be able to manage…"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, but I applaud your courage to at least try!"

"Thank you." And with that, he leaves me alone in this big dangerous living room, calling an amazing woman who might or might not want to help me. Then again, this is Jenny. And she knows that Espo and Ryan are like brothers. And considering that I'm responsible for her husband's quite predictable bad temper, I owe her an apology as much as I owe one to the guys. I take a deep breath and dial.

"_Kate? Hi! What's wrong? Is Ryan Ok? Are you OK? Are we still on for tonight?_" Jenny answers on the third ring.

"Yeah Jenny, everyone is OK, and tonight is actually why I'm calling! We just wanted to make sure you guys were still on!"

"_Oh, we are! Ryan needs some reassurance and you're the only one who can give it to him._"

"I'm so sorry for that Jenny. I know I screwed everything up, but I'll do my best to try and fix it."

"_Kate, each one of you did what thought best. No need for you to beat yourself up about it!_"

"But I still want to fix it Jenny. And that's actually why I'm calling you. I talked to Lanie yesterday and we both agreed that the best way to make sure the guys make up is by locking them up so they can talk. It won't be pretty, but someone has to force them to talk, and I think I owe it to both of them to make that meeting happen."

"_Is this your way of telling me it won't be just the four of us tonight?_"

"Yeah, kind of… I know we should have talked to you before making any arrangements…"

"_No Kate, it's fine. Better than fine actually. These past few days Kevin hasn't been himself and I know this hatch between him and Javi is killing him. He's dying to pick up the phone, but you know men, they won't admit they had something to do with the problem. It's always the other man's fault…_"

"Yeah, I know. So… you're ok with this?"

"_I'm better than Ok with it! Now, where will this dreaded meeting take place?_"

"Castle's loft, tonight, around 6?"

"_Sound great. We'll be there with bells on and a nice bottle of wine just in case._"

"That won't be necessary! As long as you guy have the bells on, you should be fine."

I hear her chuckle before she says: "_I insist._"

"Ok, fine. Bring some wine." I give in fairly easily.

"_Red or white?_"

"Whatever suits your taste to drink with homemade pizza."

"_Yummy! Ok, I gotta go Kate! My boss is looking at me! Whenever he goes ballistic over something it's usually the fault of whomever was on the phone!_"

"OK, bye Jenny! See you tonight!" And she disconnects the call. Wow. She really was in a hurry to hung up!

I turn around to look behind me and I find Castle in the kitchen, busy with getting the pizza dough ready to be put in the oven. I briefly consider going over there to help him, but he seems to be doing fine on his own and I truth be told, I'm too comfortable to move without being asked to do so. I turn once again and find the discarded, but not forgotten, copy of _Frozen Heat_ that Castle had handed me last night.

Now that _is_ a good enough reason to move. I lazily reach for it, get comfortable against the left arm of the sofa, with my back to Castle so as to not get distracted by him, and pick up right where we stopped reading last night.

I've always loved reading Castle's book. Ever since my mother and I started sharing our interest for mystery novels, I've found myself going to them whenever I was feeling down, nervous or lonely. I find a comfort in his stories that I have yet to find in real life. Though I have a feeling Castle will be more than willing to give me that comfort if I manage to ask for it really nicely.

As I begin to read, I'm struck with the realization that this experience might be forever ruined. After having him read it to me last night, reading it in silence doesn't hold the magic it did yesterday. I fear this experience has been forever ruined for me. But as I hear him mumble some incoherent words of complaint towards the pizzas, I realize that not everything is lost. So maybe I won't be able to enjoy reading his books as I used to do. But I'm planning on enjoying him and his reading for as long as we both shall live. And that's going to be my vows when we get married. Funny. Thinking about my wedding day is not as scary as it used to be. Who knows, maybe I'll even start cutting up magazines with wedding dresses in them…


	41. Hour 67

**Hour 67**

"Kate!" I call out.

"Yeah?"

"Food's ready!"

"Ok, I'll be right there!"

Ok, so I'll admit it. Three minutes shouldn't make me curious enough to go looking for her, but I do so. "Hey, what're you doing?"

"Uhm, nothing."

I get there just in time to see her close the home made print out of Frozen Heat. She's leaning over one side of the couch, her legs in front of her. I push her a bit and I sit right behind her, my arms immediately enveloping her. It feels amazing. My shirtless chest grazing her back, dressed only in my shirt, knowing she's braless. I could stay here forever.

"Kate, the rules said you weren't allowed to go back to it last night. There was nothing about you not being allowed to go read it today."

"I know...but I loved hearing you reading it to me. So I was thinking that maybe later today, you could read it to me while I iron our button up's."

"Oh so now they are ours?"

"Do you enjoy seeing me wearing them?"

"I most definitely do!"

"Then I don't want to hear you complain about them being ours!"

"Fine, you won't. As far as I'm concerned, you can take anything there's in this place and claim it as your own."

"Good, cause tonight I'm claiming you. Now let's go eat that mac before it goes to waste and after that, I want to have my very own private reading with my all-time favorite mystery writer for the second day in a row." She stands up and gives me her hand.

"I love this side of you."

"Which side of me?"

"The side that's open, willing to share secrets with me and shows me the small things, regardless of me not having a badge, you really see me as your partner. During the last four years you've shown me glimpses of it, but suddenly seeing it come out and play with me for three whole days proves to me just how deep we dove in less than 72 hours."

"I'm planning on making it my only way to address you Rick, so you better get used to it."

"And that's yet another thing you won't hear me complain about."

And I once again find myself hugging her by impulse and just because I'm now allowed to do so. And it feels so damn good. "C'mon, we have to move on if we want to get anything done before everyone gets here."

"I know. That doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

"Since you're doing me a favor by co-hosting this dinner while we could simply enjoy the last hours of our first clothes optional festival, how about I make it up to you by playing footsy with you while we eat?"

"I believe that's the least you can do." Kate says and we stand up.

When we arrive the table, she sees the pain killer I left for her next to her glass of water. She doesn't say anything. She silently takes the thing between two fingers and pushes it down with a big gulp of water. Only after she's done she says: "If I fall asleep while ironing, it'll be you fault."

"Sounds fair. But if tonight we finally get to push that last brick out of our path by sharing the last first night of our life, I'll still be the one to blame."

"Oh, trust me Castle, when we tear down that brick tonight, it'll be you fault. Resisting jumping you while you walk around half naked is a bit too much, but I'd better manage because once I get you in that bed, I won't be letting you go any time soon. I'll even use my cuffs if necessary. And convincing to guys to come only to allow them to kill each other in the hallway seems too cruel, even for me..."

"Beckett! You're going to be the death of me and we haven't even been together yet, so I can only fantasise about how good we'll be! I don't want to think about what you'll do to me by threatening to withhold sex from me."

"I'm a tease Castle, but I'm not that cruel. Besides, it'll be much more interesting to make you beg once I've put you to bed."

"Is it tonight yet?'

"Nope, not yet."

And when I feel her toes running over my calf, I can't avoid thinking how good her poker face is. "Remind me to never play cards with you again, unless we're betting with clothes."

Her laugh fills the loft and my heart. I meant every word I told her on the couch. I've loved Detective Beckett for years now. But I'm enjoying every second of falling in love with Kate, the girl who broke down after her mother's murder only to lift herself up to become one of the strongest women ever.

"Where did you go?" She asks me gently.

"I was just thinking how enjoyable the ride of getting to know Kate will be."

"Not as fun as getting to tame Rick Castle will be."

"Oh trust me Beckett, I've already been tamed. Between my mother and daughter, I've had to learn how to cook, what to do when you're in those days, the importance of shopping therapy and most importantly, I'm even potty trained to get the lead down."

"That's all good Mr. Castle, but that's not the taming I was talking about!" And for effect, she gives me the most amazing leer I've ever been allowed to witness.

"Ugh woman! You'll really be the death of me!"

"Oh but what a way to go…" She teases.

"What did Jenny say?"

"Smooth topic change Castle!"

"It was either that or grabbing an ice pack..." I'm afraid once we actually get to do the horizontal mambo her chuckle will make me embarrass myself.

"She was very Jenny about the whole thing. You know, saying it was a great idea and thanking us for trying to fix the hatch between Ryan and Espo."

"Good. We'll need all the help we can get."

"That we will. Now, why don't I take care of the dishes while you set up the ironing board so we can get right back to reading the book."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll even set it up out here so we can work in the living room." It seems I did something good because she smiles, places her arms around me and kisses me softly and thoroughly. "What was that for?"

"For not arguing with me when I claimed dishes duty."

"We're a team, remember? Besides, if you are allowed to take anything there is in this place, then you own them, and if you're the owner then you're not a guest. More like a temporary roommate. Even if it's only temporary. And I'd like nothing more than for you to feel this comfortable when we get to the Hamptons. I don't want for you to feel like you have to clean, but know that you're welcomed to feel at home, whatever that means to you." And she silently kisses me again, as if suddenly loving me more for my honesty.


	42. Hour 68

_To all those who reviewed, thank you. I know I don`t say it enough, but you truly make my day. And caskett . vs . stanathan, this story wouldn`t be what it is without you! What are we going to do without Castle next week. What`s even worst, how are we going to survive the next Castle episode..._

_Hope you enjoy, and if you feel like it, please review._

_i._

**Hour 68**

I love him.

Rick Castle: famous author, millionaire, playboy, man-child, king of innuendo, wonderful father, caring human being. I was at first intimidated by the first two, put off by the third, annoyed by the fourth, humoured and challenged by the fifth and intrigued by the last two. And now, it seems, I love all of them. Well, maybe not the playboy bit.

While I finish doing the dishes, I can feel him looking at me, setting up the ironing board while looking into the kitchen, as if trying to sense my mood or trying to convince me to stay here using his Jedi Powers, as if he really needed them. So, I go for reassuring: without turning around, meaning, with my back to him, I ask: "Have I told you lately?"

I hear the smile in his voice when he asks: "Told me what?"

"That I love you."

"Still?"

"Always."

And that's all it takes to have him come to me, place his arms around me and kiss my neck. He actually leaves a whole path of butterfly kisses there, haltering my work with the dishes. "Castle, I can't focus if you keep doing that."

"And why would I care about that? Dishes were your chore, not mine. You never said anything about me not being allowed to pester you while you did your work."

"Well, I'm telling you now. Go back to setting the ironing board."

"Been there, done that hun. I'm just waiting for you to finish so I can start reading to you while you work on our shirts."

"I'll be done a lot faster if you let go of my neck."

"Yeah, but if I let go of your neck I wouldn't be kissing you, I'd just be sitting over there, alone on the couch."

"Then make yourself useful and start drying. If we finish together, I may allow you to continue kissing me all the way to the ironing board."

And with that, his hands drop to my sides, he grabs a dishcloth and starts drying with an amazing speed.

"Do them fast but do them well, if not, don't do them at all…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! I'll even let you check with your big-fat-Mary-Poppins-thumb!"

"Did you just call me fat?"

"No, I used the fact that the thumb is the fastest of your fingers to make a point-"

"Nice save, writer boy!"

We remain working in silence for a while, but as soon as we're done, I feel him come up behind me to sneak his arms around me. His hands go to my waist, our legs get all tangled up and he pushes me forward while, once again, dropping kisses all around my neck, some of them openmouthed, some raspberry like and some of them are barely there but highly arousing butterfly kisses. Who knew there were so many kisses to be listed?! We reach the ironing board way too soon for my liking, but a deal is a deal and we don't really have much time to lose. But we can spare a few minutes right? Before I let him go completely, I turn around, link my hands around his neck and bring him closer for a series of short but meaningful kisses.

Placing his forehead next to mine, he eventually resists one of those kisses and softly announces that we should let go of each other or we'd never get anything done. Don't you hate it when the five year old on a sugar rush is actually the mindful one? Cause I sure as hell do. But when he's right, he's right, and what am I to do about that?! I push him towards the couch where Frozen Heat is waiting and turn to the ironing board to get started with the button ups.

"Just to be sure, you know you don't have to do this right?" He says, looking up at me with sincerity sparkling in his eyes.

"Yes. And you know there's no need for you to lend me your clothes or to read me your books, right?"

"Fine. You win. I'll read, you'll iron."

"Thanks. Now start!"

"Bossy! I like it!"

"Castle…" I warn but he cuts me off

"Ok, so last night we left Nikki and Rook after they discussed whether or not they could go to Hawaii. So… on with the reading."

_**SPOILERS FOR FROZEN HEAT AHEAD!**_

Castle reads:

_"The crime scene was on her way to the precinct, so instead of going up to the Twentieth first to sign out a car and then double back, Heat got off the B train a stop early at 72nd Street to hoof it. The bomb squad had ordered a precautionary traffic shutdown at Columbus Avenue, and Nikki came up the subway steps near the Dakota to witness nightmare gridlock backed up all the way to Central Park. The sooner she finished her investigation, the sooner relief would come to the stuck drivers, so she quickened her stride. But she didn't shorten her contemplation._

_As always, Detective Heat steeped herself in thoughts of the victim on approach to a body. She didn't need Rook to remind her how many homicides there were in the city every year. But her vow was never to let volume dehumanize a single lost life. Or inure her to the impact on friends and loved ones. For her, this wasn't lip service or some PR tagline. Nikki had come by it honestly years ago when her mother was murdered. Heat's loss not only spurred her to switch her college major to criminal justice, it forged the mold for the kind of cop she vowed to be. Ten years later, her mother's case remained unsolved, but the detective remained unbending in her advocacy for each victim, one at a time."_

_**NO MORE SPOILERS**_

"That's one of the many things I love about you."

"And what's that Castle?"

"How you never allow the number of victims make you forget the fact that to every single one of them, and to every single parent, sibling or child, that death, that murder, was personal."

"Yeah, well. I always thought that if detective Raglan had seen my mother's murder that way, maybe today I'd know who took her away from me. And I don't mean the guy with the knife, but the sick mind behind it. Whoever that person is could have been stopped if someone had thought about what finding the truth meant to my dad and I." We fall silent for a while, both lost in thought. After finishing the shirt I'm ironing, I set the iron aside and, looking at him, I say: "And that's one of the things I love about you."

"Huh?"

"I'll never admit this to anyone else, but from the first line on the first Nikki Heat book I knew you had nailed me. I knew that despite the snide remarks, the slutty image and the naked girl on the cover, during that first year you had seen through me. Peeled more layers to the Beckett onion I cared to admit. And it scared the shit out of me. It still does. Back then you were the annoying plucky sidekick, with playboy tendencies and an out of this word teenage daughter. It was frustrating to see how much you knew me back then. And it made me wonder if we were going to be as good as Nikki and Rook were in page 105."

"We could always try to recreate that night. I have some tequila, we bought a few limes yesterday…"

"Some other day maybe, but I want to remember every single minute of tonight. Plus, if we're driving to the Hamptons tomorrow, I don't want to wait the morning fighting a hangover, I can think about a thousand things I'd rather do in that time!"

"I see your point. Shall I go on?"

"Yes please!"

And so he goes on, reading the book that portraits our fourth year together. I wonder if they'll exchange the "L" word in this book, or if he doubted my feelings so much while he was writing it that he never gave them the chance to admit it to each other. I try to shut my mind off and focus on the sound of his voice and the story he's telling me. What a great way to spend the 68th hour of this beautiful festival we started during a stormy night.


	43. Hour 69

**Hour 69**

"Can we cancel the dinner and stay like this?" I ask.

"You don't really mean that. You won't be able to leave for the Hamptons unless we have this dinner."

"But that doesn't mean I wouldn't rather we stayed like this."

"Really? Ironing and book reading does it for you?"

"No, quiet afternoons, sharing meaningless things and not needing to actually do something or to worry about what I say or don't say, about what I'm wearing – or not wearing for that matter – not being on call, with no murder to solve, no other reason for drinking coffee but my love for it and generally just vegging out with you does it for me."

With that, he drops the book and comes to me, takes the iron from my hand, swiftly finishes the last shirt, unplugs the weirdest ironing device I've ever seen and kisses me. I mean, really, truly, deeply kisses me. I feel like every kiss we've share thus far was only a preparation for this kiss. The love, the tenderness, the lust and general sentiment of this kiss makes it the greatest one in my life. Really. It should be used as BC and AC, like, Before the Kiss and After the Kiss. Don't get me wrong, we've shared some truly amazing kisses these past 69 hours, but the one we're sharing right now puts the rest to shame.

"You do realize that you've just described what I hope our life will always be, right?" He says to me.

"Really? You don't want for us to ever go back to the precinct?"

"I don't mind either way, as long as we get to generally veg out after the case is closed. We could add some kids here and there, Alexis visiting and my mother generally doing the walk of shame…" I chuckle at that. "And I would die a very happy man."

"No dying mister. We're going to live a long life together. With a few kids here and there, Alexis, your mother and probably my dad as soon as he sees your Hamptons house. I saw the pictures over your desk. That's not a summer house, that's a summer mansion."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, as long as you don't mind my dad taking it from you every other weekend, it's more than fine by me."

"Good. Cause it's yours if you want it. That way, he'd have to ask you and not me if he can take the keys. Anything any Beckett asks is doable."

"What if he asks you to let me go?"

"Anything any Beckett asks that doesn't involve me letting you go is doable." He amends quickly.

"That's more like it."

"Would he do it?"

"Would he do what?"

"Ask me to let you go."

"I don't think so, no. And even if he does, you better not."

"Don't worry Kate, you're stuck with me!"

"I better be! One and done, Castle, one and done." And he kisses me again. I thought topping the last one would be impossible, but he somehow manages to do it.

"I hate letting you go… But we better start moving if we want to have dinner ready for when the guys get here. We have little over an hour to bake the pizzas, set the table and dress ourselves. Because I somehow don't see the guys appreciating my parading shirtless while you run around wearing only said piece of clothing. I know we're all friend and that, but they see you as a little sister, and when it comes down to it, they'll behave as Neanderthal big brothers whilst defending your honour."

"And don't you ever forget that!"

"And you know what the saddest thing is for me? As soon as I introduce you to my friends they are going to love you more than me, so all our friends would help you hide my body, but none of them would help me hide yours if you ever decide to hurt me..."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm not really planning on doing so...I actually don't think I'd even be able to allow them to hurt you. I love you way too much for that. So if it ever comes to that, rest assured, it'd be you and me against the word." And just seeing his smile makes my certainty worthy. God, how I love this man. And it feels so good to be able to admit it. "C'mon. You go back to the pizzas while I make the sauce and we'll take care of everything else once they are in the oven."

"Sounds like a plan!"

And so we both get busy, working in the kitchen in companionable silence. He sometimes tries to impress me with his pizza making antics but he stops after he drops the third one to the floor. "It's a good think you cleaned it after lunch, if not we wouldn't have enough food."

"It's an even better thing I currently don't hold a badge or I'd be forced to arrest you for trying to poison our friends."

"I think poison is a too strong a word. But remind me to make this the anchovies one, just to be safe. We don't want to go to the Hamptons being sick."

"Oh so now it's Ok to poison our friends?"

"The way I see it, Espo would be more than happy getting sick, after all, he now goes home to the arms of Lanie ME. And since he's team-less, Ryan probably wouldn't mind getting sick himself."

"Yeah. Ok. Besides, we really don't have much of a choice. But if they do get sick, I'm blaming you!"

"Hey! What happened to me and you against the world?!"

"That only applies if somebody else is threatening you with bodily harm."

"That means you'll still poke me with your killing finger and continue to twist my ear and pinch my nose?"

"You know it, mister. Any problem with that?" And just to make my point, I lift said finger and threaten to jab him with it.

"Now, there's no need for you to become the scary I-can-take-you-with-my-finger-detective-Beckett, the lovely-I-love-you-and-accept-you-as-you-are Kate that's been parading around all afternoon is more than fine with me. Now go stir your sauce and if you want, you could start setting the table. The tablecloths are..."

"I know where they are Castle. In the bottom drawer, because it was the only one Alexis could reach when she was a baby and you didn't want anything even remotely dangerous close to her."

"Sometimes I forget you memory is as good, if not better, than mine!"

"And you better remember that writer boy, because everything you say will be used against you."

"Trust me honey, I can't wait!"

"Don't 'honey' me Castle. We've been through this already!"

"I know, but it suits you."

"Just like writer monkey works fine with you!"

"Hey now! Mine is a commonly used pet name, yours is just an insult in disguise!"

"Your choice Castle!"

"Will you ever accept anything else than Beckett or Kate?"

"Detective never bothered me." I raise an eyebrow at him.

"And that's it? No honey, darling, muffin?"

"Nope. Unless you want to be called poopyhead the first time we give a press release together!"

"Would you do that? A press release, I mean?"

"When the time is right and we deem it necessary, yeah, I would. You'll never hear me say I enjoy your fame and the fact that in many ways you're a public figure, but it's a part of who you are, and that means I'll have to learn to live with it."

"Thank you. Knowing that's how you feel about the whole thing makes me feel a lot better, because fame is something that comes with the territory, and truth be told, I don't know if I'm ready to let go of writing just yet!"

"And you better never stop writing Castle! I love your books so much that I'd never be able to forgive myself for being the reason you stop writing. I know how much your books meant for me when I was having a bad time, and I know that even if I'm the only one who gets to share your bed, drink your coffee and kiss you good morning, I can't deny the rest of the world the chance to be inspired by your words."

"Even if they involve Rook and Nikki having sex?"

"As long as you conjure those scenes from your mind and not from our experiences, I can learn to live with them."

"Ok, so I can't use us to create them, but would you be willing to recreate them, you know, for veracity purposes?"

"That could be arranged, Mr Castle. Now, go back to the pizzas, I'll get the table ready!"

Once I'm done with the table, I go straight to his room to get dressed. Just as I'm finishing with the makeup, I hear him come into the room. He finds me in the bathroom, sprawled over the sink. He comes to where I'm standing and gives me a peck on my neck. "Hey! That's not fair! You got ready without me! Maybe I wanted to see you!"

"I know you did, that's why I got ready without you! Do you honestly believe we would have been ready in time had I waited for you? If the kisses we've shared this hour are any indication, had we been alone, naked, tighter, the guys would have been left knocking at the door. And there's no way I'm doing that to our friends. Now, let me go and get ready, I'll start working with the pizza flavours" And with that, I just leave him alone looking at himself in the mirror.


	44. Hour 70

**I finally got the next chapter done and sent to my beta, so here is Hour 70! Thanks for reading, sorry for the wait, thanks for betaing and for reviewing. I don`t say it enough, but I do love those : )!**

**Hour 70**

At first I was upset at her for changing alone, but if I'm honest, I know she was right in doing so. That doesn't mean I can't tease her for it. When I'm ready to be in public, I go to the kitchen and repeat my moves from the bathroom; I wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite places to kiss from my favorite, non-blood related person. The idea of her not being at all surprised when I hug her from behind amazes me. "I love the fact that you always seem to know I'm coming."

"Well, you're not really very ninja skilled Castle."

"Still, whenever I wrap my arms around you, it feels as if you have been waiting for it. You sometimes get chills, but never feel surprised."

"That's because I feel comfortable here. I know nothing bad can come my way right this very moment, so whenever you approach me from behind, I just feel glad that, like me, you don't seem to be able to hold back or stay away for too long. And I love that. So I guess it's an instinct to, you know, feel comfortable whenever you approach me so you never feel the need to stop doing so, at least not when we're alone, among family and friends or in any other private, non-precinct related setting."

"How come whenever I feel that I couldn't possibly love you any more than I already do, you find a way of proving me wrong?"

"Well, you've been doing it to me for the past hour. Whenever I felt our kisses couldn't get any better, you went and kissed me even more fully than the last time."

"Do you think we'll be this good in bed?"

"I'm pretty sure we'll be even better."

"Hey Beckett, why didn't you wait for me when you went to get ready? I happen to be really good at helping beautiful women getting in and out of their clothing!"

"Maybe I just wanted you to be surprised when you get me out of these jeans tonight."

And that sentence alone, accompanied with that sexy lifted eyebrow of hers and the biting of her bottom lip is enough to make the teaser become the teased. "Ugh! That's not fair Beckett! It's not nice to tease me like this when we're hours away from being alone again!"

"Payback is a bitch, isn't it Castle? Now go back to chopping so we can have everything ready, everyone will be here any time now."

"Yeah, ok."

"Rick? You're gonna have to let me go if you expect to get something done..."

"Yeah, I know. It's just that this feels so nice that it's too hard to let go."

"I know, but we really have to hurry if we don't want to give Lanie the wrong idea. She will wonder why we didn't get dinner ready on time. And trust me, you don't want to give Lanie a run-with-your-imagination-to-the-wild-free pass."

"Yeah, ok." I give her one last kiss right under her left ear and I reluctantly let her go. The next couple of hours are going to be even harder than I thought. To make things faster, we set our minds to work in companionable silence and in less than fifteen minutes we have the pizzas ready to be put in the oven. I take some garlic bread out of the freezer and place it in the oven to serve warm and I'm just about to reclaim my place behind her when the bell rings. I take a detour to answer the door but Kate intercepts me and pulls her arms around me. For a second, she just rests her forehead to mine and eventually she says, "Thank you for being here with me tonight. No matter the outcome, I know I couldn't be hosting this dinner if I didn't have you as my support system. Let's hope for the bet, but I can already say that even if everything goes to hell in the next few hours, when all is said and done, we'll go to bed together and I'll fall asleep in the only way I'll ever fall asleep from now on: with your arms around me."

"Always, Kate." I whisper.

"Hopefully, everything will turn out ok. But if it doesn't and the mood is ruined, tomorrow, when you wake up, feel free to engage me in a little, or a lot of, romance before I'm fully awake and find tonight's events too depressing."

There really aren't many words for me to say, so I simply lean down and kiss her. We're so engaged in each other that we forget about the door. Not a good omen for this dinner, since we're reminded of it by the yells Espo throws, presumably to Ryan. Crap. That's not how they were supposed to find out about the other coming. Oh, well, nothing to do now but face the music. I open the door with a flourish and greet them all with my best English butler imitation. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, so good of you to join us. May I take your coats?"

"Cut the crap Castle. It's either Lanie and me or Jenny and her traitorous husband. I'm not staying if he is."

"Javier Esposito! You will apologize to Jenny, you'll all get inside, give your coats to Castle and you, Ryan, Castle and I are going to have a talk while Lanie and Jenny take care if the pizzas and the drinks. Got it?" Beckett commands, coming out from behind me.

Both Espo and Ryan look ashamed and a little dubious, but they follow us in. I barely have time to point the girls towards the kitchen before Kate takes my hand in hers and leads us to my office. Please God, may this dinner take a turn for the best soon, if not, the 12th precint is doomed to loose it's best team yet.

Right before she closes the door to my office, which is kind of pointless since it has a see through library, she adds: "Lanie, I trust you can make both Jenny and yourself feel at home, and feel free to intervene in favor of the team at any time, both of you. But no defending my man's honour and he's the better person will be allowed. There's no 'best' person in a good team, and we won't leave here until we have our team back. Can you both live with that?"

I see both Jenny and Lanie nod vigorously, and as an after-thought, the both answer in unison "Yes Beckett".

When I see Kate's face, I take my last thought back, it wasn't a second thought, it was fear of the Beckett eyebrow. Wow. Who would have thought that sexy devious patch of hair could scare Lanie…As we take seat on the couch and chairs in my office, I can't but feel doomed by the guys' faces. This will be a never ending night, and when it does end, it won't be pretty!


	45. Hour 71

_ Author's note: ok, so this is almost the end of the road for this story. I wish I could say I'll keep working on it after the next chapter is posted, but I'm not sure about it. If inspiration strikes I will, but I can't make any promises. In really don't feel confident enough to write about them being in The Hamptons._

_And in case I forget to say this in the next chapter, thank you to all of you who reviewed, followed and favorite this story. Each one of those alerts made my day and spired me to keep going, even when I wasn't sure about were each hour was going to take me. And to my beta, caskett. vs. stanathan, you were amazing! Thanks for never giving up on this story J!_

_And now, on we the show. The one hour before the end!_

_Ps: I wished I owned them!_

_Ps2: is it me or Christmas is coming earlier this year? Can't wait until the next episode gets here!_

**Hour 71**

"Beckett, you can't do this." Esposito says to me.

"I can't do what, Javier?" I respond.

"Try to patch things up. You're no longer part of the team. You quit while the ship was sinking, remember?"

"Esposito, that's not fair, and you know it!"

"Isn't it? Why not! You're no longer a detective! You were frustrated at Gates, Ryan and myself and you just left us!"

"I wasn't leaving you Espo! And yes, I was frustrated, but not at you guys, and not at Gates. either As far as I'm concerned, the three of you saved my life the other day. Each one at a different moment and each in different ways, but Espo, if Maddox had hit me as he hit you, I would be dead today. And Ryan, if you hadn't told Gates, if you and that officer hadn't come looking for us, I would be dead today." And as an afterthought, I turn around and look at Castle: "And even you not being there saved me. Had you been there with me, I wouldn't have had the courage to quit and come looking for you later. And we all know that if I don't stop investigating, that case is going to get me killed."

At that time Ryan decides to intervene. "Does that mean you won't come back?"

"We don't know yet…"

"We?"

"Yeah Ryan: Castle and I. _We_ haven't really decided what we're going to do. We've only planned the next few weeks, and after that, it doesn't really matter right now. All that matters is that we're going to do whatever we choose to do, together."

"But you have to come back!" Esposito says.

"We don't have to do shit Esposito!" Castle yells at him.

"Castle!" I exclaim, looking over at him.

"It's true Kate! You almost died one time too many! I don't know if I'm ready to go back and watch you almost get killed again!"

"You didn't tell me that's how you felt!"

"I don't know how I feel! All I know is that I don't want to see you die Kate. I already went through that while you were in the ambulance, I can't do that again… I just can't."

"Are you really forcing me to decide?"

"No. I'm just saying that I don't like the guys forcing you to come back… We should have time to decide…"

"And we will. Don't worry about it. The guys just wanted to know. Doesn't mean I'm coming back. We said we'd talk about it and we will. I said I wanted to know what your opinion was and I still do. Just not today, ok?" He looks like a lost puppy. His usually bright and shiny eyes are rapidly filling up with unshed tears. I can't help myself; I lean in and kiss him on the mouth.

"What?!" A voice exclaims.

We let go, shocked to the bone! What was that?

"You guys didn't tell me about this development! Kevin Ryan you're so dead!"

"We were going out on a double date, what on earth did you think that meant!?"

"I know what I wanted it to mean, doesn't mean I knew what it meant…"

When did Lanie and Jenny come in here? And why hadn't I noticed? As if reading my mind, the ME says: "We got here just as you were sticking your tongue inside writer boys mouth!"

"Man, Lanie, it's writer MAN!" Castle says.

"Oh no pretty boy, I know nothing of the sort. As far as I'm concerned, my friend, whose waist you're so strongly grasping, hasn't dish any juicy details, so as fair as I'm concerned, it's still writer boy. And be glad you've been upgraded. Used to be writer monkey."

"Lanie, I haven't dished any secrets because there's nothing to dish yet!"

And that's when all three boys step over each other:

Espo goes all brotherly, saying: "You better not hurt her Castle, cause cop or not she's still my little sister. So watch it man!"

Ryan goes all infantile covering his ears and chanting lalalalala over and over again. If her face is any indication, Jenny seems to agree with Lanie's eager need to know as well as emphasize with her husband cause she goes to were he's standing and helps him cover his ears.

Castle on the other hand, with a deep state of shock doesn't know if he wants to protest Lanie's namings, my promise to dish as soon as there's something to dish, hide from Esposito's threat or if he wants to defend his pride by stating the reasoning behind our current celibacy. Making a quick choice, I decide Castle's mouth is bound to be more dangerous so I immediately shut him up by saying to him in my best detective voice: "Open your mouth and tonight is over before it begins." I then turn to Ryan and Jenny and say: "you can stop covering your ears little bro, there won't be any more sex related talks tonight." And last but not least, I point at Espo and say: "That better be the last man talk you give him. If not, between you and Lanie he'll get too scared to do anything!"

It comes as no surprise when Esposito's the first to recover: "Well, it's my duty to warn him. AND you. You hurt our boy over there, and there will be consequences too."

"Yeah? What you gonna do? Kill me and hide my body? We both know you love me too much to do that."

"No, but we might show him your pictures of your modelling days."

"Not a good threat Espo, you already did!"

"Bro you told her? So not cool! It hasn't been a week yet and you already went and dished one of our secrets?"

"Beckett! You promised not to tell on me!"

"Oh, grow up and stop whining Castle! This absurd conversation got way out of hand! Where were we?"

"Castle here was telling us he didn't want for you to ever come back."

"What? Rick you don't want to ride along anymore? Does that mean the Nikki Heat series is over? I love reading those books!" Jenny seems intent on keeping this conversation off topic!

"You do? You never told me you did!" Ryan says to her.

"Man do you even talk to your wife at all?" Esposito asks Ryan.

"Yes I do!"

"Hun, you've seen me reading them countless times!"

"I knew you read them, never knew you'd miss them!"

"Well, it's a nice way to get to know all of you guys better! I sometimes feel as an outcast you know? I never go to the precinct to do any of the fun stuff, and as you once said, Castle's descriptions of the characters are quite accurate. So, by reading the Nikki Heat books I get to know your work family a lot better. I like it. And I want to keep getting Castle's input on my husband's dangerous job. No pressure Rick, I'm just saying…"

"Yeah, I get it Jenny. You like the books. And trust me, I love writing them. But I don't know if I'm ready to go back yet…"

"And you don't need to go back today or tomorrow for that matter. I'm just saying, keep the door open, you know, for the team?"

"He never said that door was closed Jenny. But he's right. We've all been working nonstop for quite some time. I say it was about time we all got some well-deserved vacation time."

"Or suspension time… we had that coming too…"

"We sure did. How about this: we all agree to keep low for a few weeks, and two Thursdays from today, we meet again here and decide what to do."

"Seems good to me."

Ryan and Jenny look at each other. "Works for us too. I've actually asked Gates for a few weeks off myself. It doesn't feel right to go to the precinct by myself you know?"

"I agree. We should all take a few weeks off and meet again to talk about it. But how about a trip to the Hamptons? We can make the house our own Camp David…shake hands on a how to save the word treaty."

"Castle! We already told Alexis we wouldn't ruin things with work! Taking half the precinct there would be just that! Ruining the holidays!"

"We won't! It wouldn't be a working trip, more like a vacation-ny, non-official, bonding seminar."

"Really? Like a vacation-ny, non-official, bonding seminar? That's what you're going to call it?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. How about we discuss the name for it over some pizzas?"

I know many things were left unsaid. I can't help but wonder if the guys are OK, and if they are, I can't avoid envying them for fixing everything so easily. Is it a guy-thing or a like-brothers thing. Since I'm not a guy and I don't have any siblings, I guess I won't be finding out anytime soon unless I ask them.

"It's a guy thing."

"What?"

"They love each other too much to be truly mad, and the idea of us considering not going back was enough to have them trying to be nice. And eventually, they weren't trying anymore. And Jenny was just brilliant!"

"What? I kept thinking _when will she stop interrupting._"

"But those interruptions were what we needed! The guys are friends again, we have them off our backs for a few weeks and now that this talk is over we can go and enjoy the pizzas, a few drinks and whatever else we feel like doing!"

"I guess you're right."

"You know I am!"

"I know no such thing."

"Whatever. Just kiss me and let's go out there! I truly am starving!"

"Why do I have to do all the work? You kiss me!"

And he leans in and does so. "I love you."

"And I love you."

We stay like that, until Espo shouts: "You guys done smooching? Cause we're starving out here!"

"Coming!"

And just like that, the dreaded part of the evening is behind us.


	46. Hour 72

This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I'll see what I can do about writing something regarding their first time. I will remind you guys that I already stated I don't do smut writing. As Mr Marlowe and co, I believe that there's much more in insinuating than in actually showing!

And the Catholic in me can't help quoting Benedict XVI Urbi et Orbi message in this special day that is Christmas: "Dear brothers and sisters! Kindness and truth, justice and peace have met; they have become incarnate in the child born of Mary in Bethlehem. That child is the Son of God; he is God appearing in history. His birth is a flowering of new life for all humanity. May every land become a good earth which receives and brings forth kindness and truth, justice and peace. Happy Christmas to all of you!".

Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry for the long wait!

Hour 72

"Ok, now that we all have our pizza slides and our drinks, I think it's about time you two explained how this happened."

Oh Jenny, I'm going to bite your head off before this night is over. "How did what happened?"

"Oh no you don't Kate. I'm not letting you wissel yourself out of answering that question. We deserve to know what he did to get you in full girlfriend mode overnight."

"Hey! What makes you think it was his doing?"

"Beckett, we all know it's his fault if anything wrong happens-"

"Hey, just so you know, I resent that comment"

"-BUT we all knew that when you two finally got together it was going to be because of him."

"And just so you know, I resent THAT comment Lanie! You were my friend first, you're supposed to be on my side!"

"And I am sweetie. But that doesn't change the fact that no one made a bet on you being the first one to make a move. We all really thought it was going to be Castle doing!"

"Well, in a way it was but-"

"Ha! I knew it! It had to be Castle's doing! What did he do, kissed your booboos better?"

"No! As I was saying, it was kind of his doing but I took the first step."

At their astonished faces, Castle intervenes and says: "Hey, it was true! I was alone in here, liking my own wounds, alone after Alexis graduation and hoping that Beckett would be here whilst being mad at her for once again being reckless with a lead concerning her mother's murder when she knocks on my door."

"Ok, so she knocks on your door and you kissed her?"

"No! She kissed me. Ambushed me actually. She was all wet, it was raining outside, but she just came up to me and kissed me."

"And?"

"And what Jenny?"

"What happened after that?"

"Fuiiii! Man what's wrong with your wife! That's my little sister's romantic life we're talking about! I don't need the details!"

"Little? Who're you calling little Esposito? Sister or not, girl or not, I can still kick your butt in the gym any day, any time."

"Knowing that does nothing to calm my protective feelings towards you, and I can only assume they are brotherly protective feelings Beckett."

"They better be man! I finally got the girl, I'm not giving her up!"

"Stop side tracking guys! You kissed him and that was it? You went straight to bed?"

"That's for us to know and for you to stop wondering!"

"That means yes."

"That means no comment Lanie."

"No comment means yes."

"Whatever. Either way, that all you're getting from us!"

"Good, cause that really is all I want to know!"

"Chill Espo! I'm not one to kiss and tell man!"

"Oh yeah? Since when! I seem to remember a very detailed conversation about a deep fried Twinkie."

"Since I, once again, finally got the girl I wanted!"

"Whatever man, you're soooo doomed!"

"And with that, my friend, I would have to concur. I've fallen under your sister's, little or not, spell and I'm not breaking it!"

"Told you before Mr. Castle, flattery will get you nowhere."

"Flattery or not, I'm not trying to get into your pants, I'm just making a stament."

I lean in and, I making sure no one can listen, I whisper to his ear: "Good. Cause you don't need flattery, you're getting in there as soon as everybody leaves. And before you ask, NO, you can't kick them out."

After that, dinner goes pretty uneventful. Castle and I purposefully avoid the anchovy's one, after all the dough did fall to the floor, and I notice that we're both consuming a hell of a lot less alcohol than the rest of the table. I guess we both want to make sure we have all our reflexes just right. Looking around the table to confirm my suspicions regarding the alcohol consumption, something else catches my eyes: Jenny is not drinking either. I really can't help it, I need to ask. So I do. She was after all the instigator of our own little questioning session. "Ryan, Jenny, anything special you'd like to share with the class?"

Genuinely clueless, Ryan answers "No, not really, why?" And I realize that Ryan actually doesn't know yet. And if Jenny's face is anything to go by, she barely just found out.

"No reason. I just felt like asking." At that, Kevin's wife looks up, a grateful look in her face. I breefely consider taking this as a revenge opportunity for all those unwelcomed interruptions from before, but I decide to give her a quick nod as if to tell her _don't worry, your secret's safe with me, you're a part of our team and we take care of each other_. That doesn't mean I won't tell Castle later tonight…on second thought, that might bring his five years old into the surface, and I'm not sure I want that little fella on our bed tonight…

Is it selfish to admit that I don't really have my mind in the talking that's going around the table? More often than not, I find myself thinking about what's going to happen in a few hours. As it is, I hate the fact that this is the last hour of what should have been our first 72 hours clothes optional festival, yet we barely did anything more than kissing. And I hate knowing that it was my doing. Four years is more than enough foreplay so I can't help asking myself if that biting I took from Madox was worthy. _Yes! Of course it was! You and I both know you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that biting. _Don't you just love it when your minds voice is smarter than you? When it comes down to it, I wouldn't change our getting together for all the gold in the world. So what if it took me more than it should have to finally get the courage to be here? I'm here, I'm committed and I'm not going anywhere.

The feeling of Castle's hand around my knee brings me back to the dinner table just in time to hear Lanie say: "Hey friend. Anything you'd like to share with the rest of us?"

I turn crimson, but there's no way I' m sharing those thoughts with them. Friends or not, it still feel weird, especially with Espo and Ryan here. So, I go for the easy answer: "No, not really. And even if they were thoughts I'd be willing to share, I'm pretty sure Espo wouldn't appreciate them!"

"Argh Beckett! So not funny!" Yet we all laugh at his reaction.

"Relax Espo, I'm just kidding. I'll admit though, I was mentally cataloging my summer clothes. We promised Alexis and Martha we'd be at The Hamptons around noon and I haven't packed my bag yet." I make eye contact with Castle and I know he noticed my bluff. Gratefully, he doesn't comment on it and lets me have this small victory. The smug look on his face though lets me know that once everybody leaves all bets are off. I guess it the price to pay.

"If you want us to leave, all you have to do is say so girl…"

"What, no Lanie, I'm sorry. I really wanted to have you guys here tonight. Well, we both did. I don't know why I can't seem to remain focused. But I'm back in the table. Tell me, any gross cases since we left the precinct?" And with that, I try my best to keep my mind into the topics at hand. I'll have all summer to daydream about Castle, and better yet, to act on those dreams. But staying focused doesn't mean I can't lean over and rest my head on Castle's shoulder. His hand immediately goes around my upper halve, a gesture both comforting and a bit arousing. I guess I'm not the only one who can't keep herself to well, herself basically. But I remain active in the conversation. I meant what I said to Lanie, I really don't want for them to leave yet. This dinner took a lot of planning, and more than a bit of plotting. I refuse to let it go down the drain because I can't keep my mind out of the gutter.

As if sensing my thoughts, I feel Castle's lips come even closer to my ear and he murmurs: "Relax. The first night of the rest of our life will come soon enough. Let's enjoy the friends we have, before we set our bodies and mind into enjoying ourselves." I look up and I see in Lanie's smirk that she knows exactly what's going on, so I give into her need for evidence and kiss Castle squarely on the lips. And I do it right. She wanted gross, we'll give her gross.

"Hey! What did I tell you? If you can't keep it to yourselves get a room or something!"

"Well, if I kick you out I might be banned from my own room and why would we pay for a room somewhere else when I have a perfect bed right behind those doors." As if to make a point, he troughs his finger to his back, pointing to said bedroom.

"Oh Javier Esposito grow up! We've done a hell of a lot more than that at a restaurant. They are just discovering each other, they are supposed to be smitten!"

"Hey! This is not being smitten. This is being in love!"

"Girl are you kidding me? I defend you and you attack me? That hardly seems fair at all!"

Ahh the magic of being surrounded by friends when you could be doing so many, so much more interesting things… Deep down I know though, that seeing Espo and Ryan's friendship all patched up makes it all worthy…Very deep down…


	47. The last hour of the 72 hours festival

"I thought they'd never leave!"

"I know what you mean!"

"I couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen once they left..."

"I know what you mean. Between my overactive imagination and your hand as a constant reminder on my leg, I could barely keep track of the conversation!"

"Uhm, trust me Beckett, you weren't able to keep track of it!"

"Hey! It wasn't that bad! Was it?"

"It kind of was..."

"Hump! I hate you! It was entirely your fault!"

"What? Why?"

"No man ever held such a power over me! So I blame you!"

"Really? No man ever managed to distract you like I do?"

"Argh! I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut! The last thing that damn ego of yours needs is a boost!"

"I know of another thing of mine that doesn't need a boost..."

"Really? And what is that? Is it your hands? You're right, they seem to be doing a great job on their own…"

"Yeah? You really think my hands are doing great on their own?"

"Yep. And your mouth seems to be working quite well too…"

"It's good to know."

"Your mind seems to be doing great on the whole send message to hands and mouth department."

"Trust me, thinking is getting harder by the minute, but yep, it's still working all right…"

"You're right. There's no part of you that needs a boost." And just to make my point, I push our hips impossibly close, which subsequently makes us both moan from deep within ourselves. "Not that I want to ruin the mood or anything, but shouldn't we maybe consider tiding up before, you know, we get too busy to do so?"

"No way Jose! The cleaning lady can take care of it. I already asked her to come and make sure the house is presentable for our return, so, trust me, we won't be doing any cleaning job for a while."

"That's good to know…"

"How are you feeling?"

"If the way I'm kissing you isn't good enough to clue you in, then I must be doing something wrong…"

"No, no, there is most definitely nothing wrong with the way you're kissing me." And to prove it, I lean in and touch my lips to hers, allowing her to take the initiative. Not that I don't know how to kiss her properly, but she's doing such an amazing job on her own that I wonder, why bother? When the need for air forces us apart, I finish the thought: "It's the way your kissing me that actually made me ask you because Beckett, if you do it one more time, I won't be able to stop. And you know, the whole point of delaying the 72 hours clothes optional festival was giving you enough time to heal so we wouldn't need to stop, hence, how are you feeling?" Her answer is an earth shattering kiss that draws a grunt from me and turns me into a possessive- even if a bit pathetic- version of the Incredible Hulk. Without further invite, I lift her up and sensing my move, she locks her legs behind me, keeping herself in place and never breaking the kiss.

"I know I should be making some kind of claim about you carrying me to bed and admonish you about it somehow, but truth be told, I kind of like this caveman version of yourself when we're alone…"

"Does that me that Neanderthal Rick in the bedroom is good, Neanderthal Rick out of the bedroom is bad?"

"More like he's welcomed to show his face as long as we're alone, either in the bedroom, or at my place or even at the beach, but only if we're audience free."

"And what if he wants to make an appearance just to make sure he can get you all alone and for his eyes and hands only?"

"I might need to punish him for it."

"Please, do tell, how do plan to do that?"

"Oh, I don't know… I might need to teach him a lesson."

"And what lesson would that be?"

"I thought you'd be more interested in the method than the lesson itself"

"If you weren't currently under me, wearing nothing but the most amazing smile I've ever seen hence granting me a view men would kill for, I'd probably know what on earth are we talking about."

"What? How did that happen? I know I had clothes on! Are you really that good?"

"In my opinion I must have done something wrong if you really don't remember me divesting you of your clothes detective…"

"I guess I always expected our first time to be awkward and, you know, crushing into things, maybe a bookshelf, a misplaced chair, even the side of the bed. But the Neanderthal in you made this whole part a bit too smooth…"

"That's what happens when a four year fantasy comes to life. You've pictured a moment so many times that in a way you already know what to do. Why would I waist time getting you here when I know we'll have time for frenzied and quick. This time I want to savor it. This is the last first time I'm ever going to have. I'm not ruining it with memories of back ache duded to a misplaced chair."

"Well, I doesn't seem fair that you and that writers mind of yours will have the last few minutes ingrained from now to eternity and I won't remember a second of it because I was too busy asking you to not to behave like an overzealous jackass when we're in public!"

I lean over her, every inch of my body in contact with one of hers and I whisper to her ear: "How about we make the rest of the night memorable for you, me and that writer mind of mine we both know you enjoy so much?"

She rocks her hips as if to concede my point, but leaning up and in a hauntingly sexy voice she whispers: "if any aspect of this night, or any night form now to forever more ends up in any kind of paper or electronic device for that matter, you're a dead man Richard Castle!"

Seems fair to me. So I just lean in and claim what is rightfully mine.

Who knows what morning will bring. Or the next few months for that matter. I know Kate will want to go back to the precinct just as I know Gates will have something to say about that. But right now, all I want to think about is the fact she's right here, in my arms, out of harms ways and completely, devastatingly naked, ready to help me live those dreams no words could ever describe.

ps: sorry for the wait, and thank you all very much for the reeds, the reviews and the favs!


End file.
